Profile for The Archduke of South London:
I'm a South African living in Germany. How the fuck did that happen? I don't even speak German, yet.
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- a member for 1 year, 11 months and 30 days
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I'm a South African living in Germany. How the fuck did that happen? I don't even speak German, yet.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Social Networking Gaffes
Some years ago..
While still at school I ended up getting into a fight with the school bully and ended up throwing a book at his face. It was only years later that I realised how frighteningly close to a multi-billion dollar concept I was.
(Fri 12th Sep 2008, 9:58, More)
Some years ago..
While still at school I ended up getting into a fight with the school bully and ended up throwing a book at his face. It was only years later that I realised how frighteningly close to a multi-billion dollar concept I was.
(Fri 12th Sep 2008, 9:58, More)
» Pointless Experiments
Anal sex with the dog
What was I thinking?? She doesn't even like normal sex.
(Wed 30th Jul 2008, 14:21, More)
Anal sex with the dog
What was I thinking?? She doesn't even like normal sex.
(Wed 30th Jul 2008, 14:21, More)
» Blood
Bad morning...
Not mine, but too good not to repeat.
Act 1
Scene 1: Rachel meets her man in the pub and brings him home.
I was out one night and met this lovely guy. We hit off and after a many beers & drunken snogs ended up back at my place. Sex ensued long into the night and I woke up in the morning with a massive hangover and an empty bed. I lay in the bed for a while mulling over the nights events and the fact he hadn't event bothered to say goodbye. Just then I heard a rattle of keys at the door and someone come in. Given that I lived alone I felt a shudder of panic rush through my body as I shouted out a rather hopeful 'hello?'. The hope being that someone may just answer with something like, "Oh...I must have the wrong house. I actually live upstairs, Bye" or the even more hopeful "Don't worry, I'll just let myself out. I've decided not to rob your anymore. Do you know anywhere local I can pray?".
The panic soon dissipated as the guy I'd shagged the night before answered, "Hi, I just popped out the to shop to get some milk for coffee and a few bit for a breakfast". Phew, instant relief. I wasn't being robbed and the guy hadn't just left without saying goodbye.
I heard his footsteps come towards the room and I did a quick glance towards the mirror to see how I looked. God, I looked rough. He walked in and immediately I clocked his face. Something wasn't quite right. He had a browny red stain around his mouth and across his chin. With his stubble now poking through his skin I remember thinking for the briefest of moments that he looked like a strawberry.
He walked towards the bed to kiss me good morning, but his walk slowed as he got closer. He could see the look of sheer embarrassment creeping across my face as I realisation of what had happened dawned on me. I'd come back from the pub and in my drunken state I'd forget I was ON and he'd feasted on my bloodied nether regions! This mans face was covered in my blood and he'd gone to the shop. Not my finest moment, but certainly one I'll never forget.
/End
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 15:26, More)
Bad morning...
Not mine, but too good not to repeat.
Act 1
Scene 1: Rachel meets her man in the pub and brings him home.
I was out one night and met this lovely guy. We hit off and after a many beers & drunken snogs ended up back at my place. Sex ensued long into the night and I woke up in the morning with a massive hangover and an empty bed. I lay in the bed for a while mulling over the nights events and the fact he hadn't event bothered to say goodbye. Just then I heard a rattle of keys at the door and someone come in. Given that I lived alone I felt a shudder of panic rush through my body as I shouted out a rather hopeful 'hello?'. The hope being that someone may just answer with something like, "Oh...I must have the wrong house. I actually live upstairs, Bye" or the even more hopeful "Don't worry, I'll just let myself out. I've decided not to rob your anymore. Do you know anywhere local I can pray?".
The panic soon dissipated as the guy I'd shagged the night before answered, "Hi, I just popped out the to shop to get some milk for coffee and a few bit for a breakfast". Phew, instant relief. I wasn't being robbed and the guy hadn't just left without saying goodbye.
I heard his footsteps come towards the room and I did a quick glance towards the mirror to see how I looked. God, I looked rough. He walked in and immediately I clocked his face. Something wasn't quite right. He had a browny red stain around his mouth and across his chin. With his stubble now poking through his skin I remember thinking for the briefest of moments that he looked like a strawberry.
He walked towards the bed to kiss me good morning, but his walk slowed as he got closer. He could see the look of sheer embarrassment creeping across my face as I realisation of what had happened dawned on me. I'd come back from the pub and in my drunken state I'd forget I was ON and he'd feasted on my bloodied nether regions! This mans face was covered in my blood and he'd gone to the shop. Not my finest moment, but certainly one I'll never forget.
/End
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 15:26, More)
» God
Viginity
My mate went out with this very religious girl when we were about 18. She was horny as hell, but she steadfastly refused to lose her virginity before she was married. So instead she noshed him off lots, allowed him to finger her furiously and enjoyed copious amounts of bum sex.
One day after a lot of alcohol they got down to business. Her rear end winked at him seductively as he rolled down the rubber. The necessary preparations had been made and the mothership began the docking procedure. Suddenly and without warning the spaceship took an unplanned for detour and ended up in the vaginal galaxy. A hasty exit was made and some heated discussion took place on main deck of the space craft. The main topic of discussion centred around one crucial fact, "Was the virginity lost?".
Finally it was decided that it wasn't. This was based around the simple fact that he hadn't deliberately meant to do it,she didn't come from it and he was wearing a rubber.
I had long since realised that religion has a curious habit of bending the rules to accommodate its needs, but this was rule bending at its finest.
(Mon 23rd Mar 2009, 15:50, More)
Viginity
My mate went out with this very religious girl when we were about 18. She was horny as hell, but she steadfastly refused to lose her virginity before she was married. So instead she noshed him off lots, allowed him to finger her furiously and enjoyed copious amounts of bum sex.
One day after a lot of alcohol they got down to business. Her rear end winked at him seductively as he rolled down the rubber. The necessary preparations had been made and the mothership began the docking procedure. Suddenly and without warning the spaceship took an unplanned for detour and ended up in the vaginal galaxy. A hasty exit was made and some heated discussion took place on main deck of the space craft. The main topic of discussion centred around one crucial fact, "Was the virginity lost?".
Finally it was decided that it wasn't. This was based around the simple fact that he hadn't deliberately meant to do it,she didn't come from it and he was wearing a rubber.
I had long since realised that religion has a curious habit of bending the rules to accommodate its needs, but this was rule bending at its finest.
(Mon 23rd Mar 2009, 15:50, More)