» Siblings

My twin
I was, in fact, born with a terrible affliction that marred my early live. I was a conjoined twin. Myself and my brother were joined at the hip. At first it was great, my brother always there, and I was frightened of loneliness the eventual separation would bring. But soon our joined lives became terrible, not just because of the lack of mobility, but also because my brother was a damn freak... we shared certain parts, but we both had our own *essential* parts. However, he found it hilarious to mess with me, and used to tell me it wasn't really me etc. Every day was abuse time.

Eventually, it was time for separation, and the whole series of operations and procedures went well, well enough so that we both learned to live full but very separate lives.

My brother eventually went on to become very big in the physics field, whilst I went into IT. He excelled, so much so that he went on to work on a Nasa programme that allowed him to make a flight on the shuttle.

However, he did come back to the UK every now and then, and when he did, he would make his way back to my parents (where I was living at the time) and he would start again, taunting me about the former abuse.

My therapist said that maybe I should write some of my feelings down, and an attempt to get them out in the air. So I did, and I came up with this poem:

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me


Apparently, it had already bindun.
(Wed 31st Dec 2008, 14:14, More)

» Sexual fetishes

I'm really into
getting off as quickly as possible with someone who then shuts the fuck up and lets me sleep. Washing and ironing is a nice to have.
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 14:13, More)

» Tightwads

I knew a guy who...
instead of putting the heating on in his flat, he would make up sandwiches and a flask and go and sit all, and I mean all, day in the greenhouse at the local Royal Horticultural Society gardens. To save even more money, he used to buy an annual pass for said gardens.

Imagine his guttedness when he found out after 3 years of doing this that his work's ID pass gained him free entry into the gardens.
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 7:50, More)

» Spoilt Brats

My dad told me a tale....
of his past.

My Dad was about 8 or 9 at the time, and rationing was still in full swing - this must be about 1947-1948. His friend's parents owned some kind of local shop (as many did) that had access to cakes and confectionery.

This one lad was sat on the local wall, showing off with his newly acquired Chocolate Eclair cream cake. He was teasing my dad and the other kids with its creamy chocolatey goodliness.

He was slowly and gently licking the cream from the choux pastry, with an extended tongue. He then turned it 90 degrees and started the lick the gooey chocolate on top... and the other kids looked on, all with watering mouths, wanting that eclair, but this kid was not for sharing.

My dad, who had never had even a taste of a chocolate eclair, said he could stand it no more. He grabbed the kids wrist, forcing the lad's hand upwards.. He then made him press that eclair in his own face, and rubbed it around until it was destroyed beyond repair. Letting go of the kid's hand, my dad clocked him with a single punch that bust his nose, his face a mix of pastry, cream, chocolate and claret.

The kid ran home. The other kids cheered. When my granddad found out, my dad got the beating of his life.

I eat chocolate eclairs in a single bite when my dad's around.
(Mon 13th Oct 2008, 11:17, More)

» My most treasured possession

I have....
....my father's slide projector and screen.

The bulb has gone, and would cost too much to replace, and the screen is a silvery-grey. But I can't part with it.

In his collection of slides, he has some of the Apollo landings, as well as York Minister well before the fire of 1984. As well as numerous family holidays, and people and events long gone.

My wife had most of the images transferred to photos from slide to paper for me, and although they are very good, they are not the same as having the image projected on the screen.

So why do I keep them? It reminds me of a time circa 1970 to 1973 when this was an amazing form of entertainment. especially when one slide was inserted the wrong way, and we all laughed at "grandad upside down".

TV for me was just black and white - but this was full colour entertainment. The smell of the projector heat is something I can sense right now, and I can picture the cigarette smoke from my mother wafting through the ray of light as we sat around for the "show" to start.

Just looking at the hardware, and not even the images, it makes me tearful for nothing else but my youth long gone..............
(Thu 8th May 2008, 16:02, More)