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- a member for 2 years, 7 months and 26 days
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- has posted 21 stories and 19 replies on question of the week
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» My most gullible moment
Order
Not me, but my Missy. She was ordering us a Thai takeaway on the telephone when I scribbled a last minute order on a Post-It note:
"Ask them if they've got any Phat Kok"
The lady on the other end of the phone was laughing so much the call had to be terminated.
(Tue 26th Aug 2008, 15:22, More)
Order
Not me, but my Missy. She was ordering us a Thai takeaway on the telephone when I scribbled a last minute order on a Post-It note:
"Ask them if they've got any Phat Kok"
The lady on the other end of the phone was laughing so much the call had to be terminated.
(Tue 26th Aug 2008, 15:22, More)
» Cringe!
Jam Sandwiched
I was walking past the local constabulary and two police cars were pulling out of the side road one behind the other. They were driving slowly and fairly close together.
Not one to be intimidated by authority I thought I would be smart and cross the road between the two of them.
I strutted through with head cockily held high so failed to see a length of rope at shin height.
Yes the front car was towing the one behind and I went completely arse over tit.
There was a busy bus stop of people watching too. Brilliant!
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 10:51, More)
Jam Sandwiched
I was walking past the local constabulary and two police cars were pulling out of the side road one behind the other. They were driving slowly and fairly close together.
Not one to be intimidated by authority I thought I would be smart and cross the road between the two of them.
I strutted through with head cockily held high so failed to see a length of rope at shin height.
Yes the front car was towing the one behind and I went completely arse over tit.
There was a busy bus stop of people watching too. Brilliant!
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 10:51, More)
» Get Rich Quick
Affiliate Linkage
My website pulled in quite few bob for a while.
Basically it was an archive of eBay auctions that were in the news but were pulled by the auction site. They were usually people selling stuff that wasn't their’s such as football teams, wives and various DNA related listings. Pretty dull stuff, but it covered by the media so people wanted to see them. Tens of thousands of people a day in fact, it turned out.
Sometimes I would spot a breaking news story about an auction and manage to archive it before it was removed. Most of the time however I would simply have to search "completed listings" and the whole listing would still be sitting there on their servers.
The sneaky bit would be posting a link on eBay to my website using keywords in the heading relevant to the removed auction. People would visit "my auction" and click through to my site to "find the information".
Once on my site they could read a small bit of copy and then "click through to the listing on eBay". Naturally the click back to eBay was an affiliate link.
This paid my mortgage for a couple of years for about half an hour's work a day. Most of my readers were in The States and I ended up on quite a few US radio stations as King Nutter giving the latest from the auction scene. It became cat and mouse with eBay as they kept closing my account and I had to open new ones, but it got to the point where I would open fifty accounts all at once with a new credit card number.
Media interest in eBay faded, but then YouTube came along and started banning vids so I did exactly the same with their keywords. If you entered "Daniella Cicerelli video" (half a million hits one weekend) a short video would play saying "Visit kingnutter.com to see this vid".
Not as lucrative as there was no affiliate incentive, but still good fun. I had Google ads that paid for my server costs at least thrice over. Which may have been the problem...
The site was going really well and about a year ago I had an interview with Google for the position of UK Editor of YouTube.
They seemed very interested about my ingenuity and ability to help users find the content they wanted, so I told them how it all worked.
I soon discovered they were not that impressed. I didn't get the job, YouTube permanently disabled my account and amended their T&Cs to stop people linking to sites containing Google Ads. To be honest it wasn't about the money at this stage and I could have easily dropped the ads. Bypassing their ban by opening any number of accounts was possible too, but it's not as fun without my own username.
I'm not disheartened. I have another idea up my sleeve which will make far bigger bucks if there are any PHP / Data Modellers out there who'd like to lend a hand. And this time no big corporate will be shutting down my accounts.
There was always something fun about getting caught though...
(Wed 6th Aug 2008, 10:42, More)
Affiliate Linkage
My website pulled in quite few bob for a while.
Basically it was an archive of eBay auctions that were in the news but were pulled by the auction site. They were usually people selling stuff that wasn't their’s such as football teams, wives and various DNA related listings. Pretty dull stuff, but it covered by the media so people wanted to see them. Tens of thousands of people a day in fact, it turned out.
Sometimes I would spot a breaking news story about an auction and manage to archive it before it was removed. Most of the time however I would simply have to search "completed listings" and the whole listing would still be sitting there on their servers.
The sneaky bit would be posting a link on eBay to my website using keywords in the heading relevant to the removed auction. People would visit "my auction" and click through to my site to "find the information".
Once on my site they could read a small bit of copy and then "click through to the listing on eBay". Naturally the click back to eBay was an affiliate link.
This paid my mortgage for a couple of years for about half an hour's work a day. Most of my readers were in The States and I ended up on quite a few US radio stations as King Nutter giving the latest from the auction scene. It became cat and mouse with eBay as they kept closing my account and I had to open new ones, but it got to the point where I would open fifty accounts all at once with a new credit card number.
Media interest in eBay faded, but then YouTube came along and started banning vids so I did exactly the same with their keywords. If you entered "Daniella Cicerelli video" (half a million hits one weekend) a short video would play saying "Visit kingnutter.com to see this vid".
Not as lucrative as there was no affiliate incentive, but still good fun. I had Google ads that paid for my server costs at least thrice over. Which may have been the problem...
The site was going really well and about a year ago I had an interview with Google for the position of UK Editor of YouTube.
They seemed very interested about my ingenuity and ability to help users find the content they wanted, so I told them how it all worked.
I soon discovered they were not that impressed. I didn't get the job, YouTube permanently disabled my account and amended their T&Cs to stop people linking to sites containing Google Ads. To be honest it wasn't about the money at this stage and I could have easily dropped the ads. Bypassing their ban by opening any number of accounts was possible too, but it's not as fun without my own username.
I'm not disheartened. I have another idea up my sleeve which will make far bigger bucks if there are any PHP / Data Modellers out there who'd like to lend a hand. And this time no big corporate will be shutting down my accounts.
There was always something fun about getting caught though...
(Wed 6th Aug 2008, 10:42, More)
» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis
Cock Print
Some years back I had a last minute thought to get creative by giving the current Mrs Nutter a Valentine's Card with an imprint of my fellow.
Posh paper at the ready, I smeared the chap with pink paint but realised he didn't have much 'motivation'.
Not wishing to undersell myself I thought it best to make him stand to attention again. Stimulating thoughts however are hard to muster at 7am in the morning with your dick and bush covered in pink paint.
Somehow I managed to achieve the required woodiness, but it suddenly became obvious that I would need to include the balls as well to make the image recognisable and not just a smear of pinkness.
This meant that my initial positioning of the paper on my (home) office table was not practical for full length sack to helmet printing. The whole tackle would need to be lain flat against the paper.
The only solution I could think of was to put the paper on the floor and lie over it, hoping that I landed in the right place and didn't make a cock print on the carpet. I also had to support myself on strategically placed newspaper because earlier manual stimulation had left my hands covered in paint.
On my first attempt I realised that the paint had dried so another application was required.
In retrospect I hadn't really thought it all through, but eventually I made one with which I was pleased.
Before I finally acheived this perfect print I had made several OK attempts which I hilariously sold on eBay as "art".
And before anyone says anything, yes my Mum was delighted with her card.
Length? I used a whole tube of acrylic.
(Thu 12th Mar 2009, 17:23, More)
Cock Print
Some years back I had a last minute thought to get creative by giving the current Mrs Nutter a Valentine's Card with an imprint of my fellow.
Posh paper at the ready, I smeared the chap with pink paint but realised he didn't have much 'motivation'.
Not wishing to undersell myself I thought it best to make him stand to attention again. Stimulating thoughts however are hard to muster at 7am in the morning with your dick and bush covered in pink paint.
Somehow I managed to achieve the required woodiness, but it suddenly became obvious that I would need to include the balls as well to make the image recognisable and not just a smear of pinkness.
This meant that my initial positioning of the paper on my (home) office table was not practical for full length sack to helmet printing. The whole tackle would need to be lain flat against the paper.
The only solution I could think of was to put the paper on the floor and lie over it, hoping that I landed in the right place and didn't make a cock print on the carpet. I also had to support myself on strategically placed newspaper because earlier manual stimulation had left my hands covered in paint.
On my first attempt I realised that the paint had dried so another application was required.
In retrospect I hadn't really thought it all through, but eventually I made one with which I was pleased.
Before I finally acheived this perfect print I had made several OK attempts which I hilariously sold on eBay as "art".
And before anyone says anything, yes my Mum was delighted with her card.
Length? I used a whole tube of acrylic.
(Thu 12th Mar 2009, 17:23, More)