» Food sabotage

Pan sabotage
Not strictly food but an item for preparing food.

My dad was a bit of a "see you next Tuesday". I remember one year as a kid he asked my mother what she wanted for her birthday. She jokingly said he might as well get her a new pan so she can cook his pasta in it (as women do).

He took her to her word (as men do) and on the morning of her birthday he presented a pan shaped present wrapped in happy birthday paper (and a thoughtful bow) and all hell broke loose.

He got her something else pretty sharpish but it was never forgotten (you know women and that)

Years later it turned out he hadn't just bought her a new pan after all, he had bought her a set of pans. Six in total, each slightly smaller than the next - they stacked into each other.

Eventually she calmed down and the time came for us to chuck the old pan (loose handle) and use "The new pan" instead.

Dad took great pride in saying it was a useful present after all and despatched the old one with the wonky handle to the bin. I think she might have taken a swing at him with it at some time during the proceedings.

Of course after two weeks "the new pan" was substituted (in the dead of night) for the next size down by my dad who had hidden the set in the loft.

Two more weeks later and the next smallest pan was taken down from the loft and replaced the previous. 3 months later she was down to the milk pan, insisting all along that it must be the heat shrinking the metal.

Of course this became a topic of intense discussion with everyone and anyone she knew even for years after. Quite frankly she's never been the same since (but that's men for you).
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 21:32, More)

» Desperate Times

Ran out of coasters
Luckily there was a free music CD in the Mail on Sunday, so we had to use that.
(Thu 15th Nov 2007, 10:31, More)

» Cross Dressing

buffet_the_appetite_slayer
Music Soc at Uni had a number of themed parties through out the year. Best of all was the annual end of term beachwear party.

Happened the last Wednesday of summer term starting at 7:30pm prompt in the Old Bar, then onto the Poly Bop followed by massive house party off Victoria Road (10 out of 10 if you've guessed the city).

James (because that was his name) was convinced that it all started at 6:30pm (and why not?)

So 100 or so undergrads arrive in assorted Hawaiian Shirts, Wetsuits and Snorkels at 7:30pm to find James sat alone on a barstool at the bar - which at the time was the largest bar in Europe. He was on his 3rd pint, staring intensely at the bottom of his glass, dressed only in a borrowed fetching skin tight pastel blue one-piece female bathing costume and a flowered swimming cap.

He said later that it was the longest hour of his life.
(Thu 15th Mar 2007, 17:18, More)

» School Days

More droll than funny.
Looking back we had some funny buggers teaching us. Went to my kid's parents evening last night and was pleased to see all the teachers there are equally as mad, I digress.

On particular chap we had teaching us, old and welsh, fought in the war, knew every chapter and verse in the bible (in greek). Anyway we were larking about on the top one sunny day. Must have been lunch time. A couple of my cohorts were close by, one lying on his back whilst another seemed to be demonstrating some kind of lifesaving technique by moving his arms up and down and across his chest. Teacher saunters past them, glances down and was overheard to say "Ah Pipkins, too idle to even breathe for yourself now I see" and carries on.

That one sticks out for some reason. Still makes me titter even today.
(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 13:31, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

Fast Show
"....and I was rummaging around in the attic and I found the original copy of the Bible. Which was nice."
(Thu 2nd Oct 2008, 20:44, More)