Profile for enceladus:
I'm Richard, and I'm an English teacher, and I therefore have to resist the urge to spring into pedantic action at the first sign of a crime against spelling or a misplaced apostrophe. See me.
After a hard day at the whiteboard, enduring the company of peurile adolescents who think that the knob-gag is the highest form of humour, I enjoy nothing more than the company of sane, witty, mature conversationalists who enjoy discussing literature and the arts.
But still I come back to b3ta.
This is me, enjoying a manly drink on a Thai beach. Tartan tablecloths are very fashionable in the Orient.
And in Japan, disobeying rules:
And in a Japanese supermarket, deciding between chocolate covered prawn snacks or chocolate covered salted crisps:
Apparently, I'm going to look like Anthony Gormley soon
I love Japan. I lived there for two years and will bore you about it if prompted. It's very pretty:
A few posts:
Run, Cary, run!!
This was for the 'update Gladiators' competition...plus topicalols
I got a bit carried away for the 'recreate a famous work of art using everyday objects' competition: Magritte, Picasso, Dali, Hirst and Hiroshige got the treatment. But you would have known that anyway, you cultured thing...
Pasanonic dashed off this delightful take on my floor-dove, the swine:
One of my bananas went feral:
Another one thinks he's Hitler...
Not another syndrome...
Attention students: buying a year's supply of food has just got a lot easier and cheaper...
Twitter ye not...
Not surprised they lost. Their 'message' was a bit confusing.
Heston's gone too far this time...
Lean beef, of course...
Couldn't fit Sedaka in...
Adverts fall into nine distinct categories when you think about it...
Odd Jobs in the toilet again....
Ed Balls. Crazy name, crazy guy...
More Balls...
Revised for that Festival of Peace and Harmony,
the Olympic Flame Relay...
Futurevert...
A baa chart...
The Bible sells advertising space...
Rupert has a bad trip...
Vincent's relationship hits a new low...
Oh, Pooh...
Rembrandt, your painting's a bloody shambles......
Well, it was an apprentice piece.
The Dalek was a shoo-in for the job on the meat counter...
British Mars attempt stalls...
This refers to a topical event and a b3ta in-joke, and will therefore mean nothing to some of you....I bet you feel really left out.
I don't normally do badges, but this was a lovely moment:
Have a look
...and a goatse to finish with. Sorry.
Here's a scary video what I made in Thailand of a fly getting revenge on a spider (it's actually a wasp that paralyses its eight-legged victim and then lays lots of eggs. The little darlings then hatch and enjoy a tasty breakfast. Nice...)
predator vs prey
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 3 years, 8 months and 23 days
- has posted 6823 messages on the main board
- (of which 5 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 63 messages on the talk board
- has posted 93 messages on the links board
- (including 6 links)
- has posted 1 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 296 pictures, 20 links, 0 talk posts, and 5 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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I'm Richard, and I'm an English teacher, and I therefore have to resist the urge to spring into pedantic action at the first sign of a crime against spelling or a misplaced apostrophe. See me.
After a hard day at the whiteboard, enduring the company of peurile adolescents who think that the knob-gag is the highest form of humour, I enjoy nothing more than the company of sane, witty, mature conversationalists who enjoy discussing literature and the arts.
But still I come back to b3ta.
This is me, enjoying a manly drink on a Thai beach. Tartan tablecloths are very fashionable in the Orient.
And in Japan, disobeying rules:
And in a Japanese supermarket, deciding between chocolate covered prawn snacks or chocolate covered salted crisps:
Apparently, I'm going to look like Anthony Gormley soon
I love Japan. I lived there for two years and will bore you about it if prompted. It's very pretty:
A few posts:
Run, Cary, run!!
This was for the 'update Gladiators' competition...plus topicalols
I got a bit carried away for the 'recreate a famous work of art using everyday objects' competition: Magritte, Picasso, Dali, Hirst and Hiroshige got the treatment. But you would have known that anyway, you cultured thing...
Pasanonic dashed off this delightful take on my floor-dove, the swine:
One of my bananas went feral:
Another one thinks he's Hitler...
Not another syndrome...
Attention students: buying a year's supply of food has just got a lot easier and cheaper...
Twitter ye not...
Not surprised they lost. Their 'message' was a bit confusing.
Heston's gone too far this time...
Lean beef, of course...
Couldn't fit Sedaka in...
Adverts fall into nine distinct categories when you think about it...
Odd Jobs in the toilet again....
Ed Balls. Crazy name, crazy guy...
More Balls...
Revised for that Festival of Peace and Harmony,
the Olympic Flame Relay...
Futurevert...
A baa chart...
The Bible sells advertising space...
Rupert has a bad trip...
Vincent's relationship hits a new low...
Oh, Pooh...
Rembrandt, your painting's a bloody shambles......
Well, it was an apprentice piece.
The Dalek was a shoo-in for the job on the meat counter...
British Mars attempt stalls...
This refers to a topical event and a b3ta in-joke, and will therefore mean nothing to some of you....I bet you feel really left out.
I don't normally do badges, but this was a lovely moment:
Have a look
...and a goatse to finish with. Sorry.
Here's a scary video what I made in Thailand of a fly getting revenge on a spider (it's actually a wasp that paralyses its eight-legged victim and then lays lots of eggs. The little darlings then hatch and enjoy a tasty breakfast. Nice...)
predator vs prey
Recent front page messages:
I like watching those sign language guys...
...they can be surprisingly expressive.
(Sun 18th Oct 2009, 12:20, More)
...they can be surprisingly expressive.
(Sun 18th Oct 2009, 12:20, More)
No Surprises for Derren...
"I could have bribed someone at the Kinder factory - but that would have been illegal..."
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 15:16, More)
"I could have bribed someone at the Kinder factory - but that would have been illegal..."
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 15:16, More)
I say!
Will they still have moustache wax in the future, Carruthers?
(Thu 27th Aug 2009, 14:15, More)
Will they still have moustache wax in the future, Carruthers?
(Thu 27th Aug 2009, 14:15, More)
Best answers to questions:
» When Animals Attack
Stings and their treatment...
On a visit to Thailand, I was happily splashing about in the sea when my frolics were abruptly cut short by sudden intense pain. I ran out and inpected the damage: a jellyfish had left an angry red welt on my stomach. If you've never been savaged by one of those gelatinous denizens of the deep, it hurts like fuck for about ten minutes, continues to hurt like buggery for about half an hour, then gradually tails off to a low-level pain that just makes you snuffle a bit.
Various kind people offered advice:
1. Piss on it (the classic remedy) - tempting, but rather awkward to implement in public without a certain loss of dignity.
2. Rub it with vinegar - a less unpleasant alternative to piss, but, Thailand having a dirth of fish and chip shops, I couldn't locate any.
4. Smear banana on the affected area - a local tip from a nice Thai lady who gave me a banana she happened to have about her person to use for this very purpose. It worked a bit, but probably not as well as piss or vinegar.
5. Stop winging, you Pommie bastard - an Australian gentleman consoled me with the words - "If that'd been a box jellyfish, you'd be dead by now."
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 21:53, More)
Stings and their treatment...
On a visit to Thailand, I was happily splashing about in the sea when my frolics were abruptly cut short by sudden intense pain. I ran out and inpected the damage: a jellyfish had left an angry red welt on my stomach. If you've never been savaged by one of those gelatinous denizens of the deep, it hurts like fuck for about ten minutes, continues to hurt like buggery for about half an hour, then gradually tails off to a low-level pain that just makes you snuffle a bit.
Various kind people offered advice:
1. Piss on it (the classic remedy) - tempting, but rather awkward to implement in public without a certain loss of dignity.
2. Rub it with vinegar - a less unpleasant alternative to piss, but, Thailand having a dirth of fish and chip shops, I couldn't locate any.
4. Smear banana on the affected area - a local tip from a nice Thai lady who gave me a banana she happened to have about her person to use for this very purpose. It worked a bit, but probably not as well as piss or vinegar.
5. Stop winging, you Pommie bastard - an Australian gentleman consoled me with the words - "If that'd been a box jellyfish, you'd be dead by now."
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 21:53, More)