Profile for Maximinimus::
Maximinimus stole a monkey and got punched in the nuts, is tall but not amazingly tall, has freakishly large feet, we're talking more in proportion with a clown than a human (everyone knows they are different species).
He is one of the most boring people you are likely to meet, working by day as a software engineer but enjoying paintball, airsoft, cycling and motorsports in his free time.
It is also said that he posesses the ability to rip aircraft from the sky with his mind and consume entire cities, from looking at him I would say the latter may be true.
Me?:
From the super J Peasemould Gruntfuttock:
I participated in the tin foil hat event:
Most Sinister Award
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 3 years, 9 months and 11 days
- has posted 5510 messages on the main board
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- has posted 4243 messages on the talk board
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- (including 7 links)
- has posted 7 stories and 6 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1472 pictures, 58 links, 136 talk posts, and 34 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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Maximinimus stole a monkey and got punched in the nuts, is tall but not amazingly tall, has freakishly large feet, we're talking more in proportion with a clown than a human (everyone knows they are different species).
He is one of the most boring people you are likely to meet, working by day as a software engineer but enjoying paintball, airsoft, cycling and motorsports in his free time.
It is also said that he posesses the ability to rip aircraft from the sky with his mind and consume entire cities, from looking at him I would say the latter may be true.
Me?:
From the super J Peasemould Gruntfuttock:
I participated in the tin foil hat event:
Most Sinister Award
Your thoughts
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis
One I heard working at Tesco while at college
Lou: Did you hear about Craig the checkout manager?
Maxi: No?
Lou: Hes been going to the doctor because his penis was bright orange.
Maxi: Bright orange?
Lou: Yep, bright orange. He went back for some test results yesterday.
Maxi: Was it anything serious?
Lou: Well, no. They couldn't find anything medically wrong with him. The doctor asked him about his "habits" and it turns out that he has been eating wotsits while watching porn every evening...
Maxi: *Almost falls over with laughter*
(Mon 16th Mar 2009, 12:13, More)
One I heard working at Tesco while at college
Lou: Did you hear about Craig the checkout manager?
Maxi: No?
Lou: Hes been going to the doctor because his penis was bright orange.
Maxi: Bright orange?
Lou: Yep, bright orange. He went back for some test results yesterday.
Maxi: Was it anything serious?
Lou: Well, no. They couldn't find anything medically wrong with him. The doctor asked him about his "habits" and it turns out that he has been eating wotsits while watching porn every evening...
Maxi: *Almost falls over with laughter*
(Mon 16th Mar 2009, 12:13, More)
» Food sabotage
I haven't but my brother has
When he was younger, I would say around 13 there was a little twunt that lived across the road, he would tease my brother, beat him up and steal any sweets he was carrying. This didn't last very long mind you as my brother got a crafty idea.
Back then you could buy big bars of laxative chocolate having very distinct packaging. He bought one of these, along with a 200g bar of dairy milk. He carefully opened both bars (one being chocolate deliciousness, the other chocolate-like ring destroying awfulness) and swapped the packaging before sealing them up again.
Needless to say the twunt across the road saw my brother later that day, roughed him up a bit and stole the dairy milk, leaving behind the laxative wrapped bar.
After a trip to the hospital the twunt’s parents were banging on our door, screaming and shouting about how my brother had tried to kill their darling son by giving him laxative chocolate. It turns out he ate the whole bar before his mother got home and chastised him for ruining his dinner, 3 hours and many ruined pairs of underwear later he owned up to eating a bar of laxative chocolate, saying that my brother gave it to him.
(Mon 22nd Sep 2008, 15:43, More)
I haven't but my brother has
When he was younger, I would say around 13 there was a little twunt that lived across the road, he would tease my brother, beat him up and steal any sweets he was carrying. This didn't last very long mind you as my brother got a crafty idea.
Back then you could buy big bars of laxative chocolate having very distinct packaging. He bought one of these, along with a 200g bar of dairy milk. He carefully opened both bars (one being chocolate deliciousness, the other chocolate-like ring destroying awfulness) and swapped the packaging before sealing them up again.
Needless to say the twunt across the road saw my brother later that day, roughed him up a bit and stole the dairy milk, leaving behind the laxative wrapped bar.
After a trip to the hospital the twunt’s parents were banging on our door, screaming and shouting about how my brother had tried to kill their darling son by giving him laxative chocolate. It turns out he ate the whole bar before his mother got home and chastised him for ruining his dinner, 3 hours and many ruined pairs of underwear later he owned up to eating a bar of laxative chocolate, saying that my brother gave it to him.
(Mon 22nd Sep 2008, 15:43, More)
» Abusing freebies
Several Years ago...
... when Virgin owned their own cinemas and I was young.
It was the start of the summer holidays, I was bored and thought I would see a film, I made my way over to the Brighton multiplex. When I arrived there were posters advertising a "Student summer pass". The mentioned product gave unlimited access to the cinema for either 15,30 or 45 days depending on price (around £20,£30,£40).
Cue me thinking this would be great and watching between 5 and 7 films a day for the first 3 days, on the fourth day the cinema manager refused to let me use the ticket.
I wasn't happy and made a complaint to the head office, a full refund and a two 45 day tickets with seat upgrades and complimentary popcorn and a soft drink for each film as compensation.
Needless to say me and a friend spent the whole summer watching 3-5 films a day. I kept my tickets as a reminder for a while, Me and my friend had approximately 150 ticket stubs each by the time our passes expired.
Without the ticket prices that's a hell of a lot of popcorn and medium cola that the cinema had to fork out for...
(Wed 14th Nov 2007, 16:03, More)
Several Years ago...
... when Virgin owned their own cinemas and I was young.
It was the start of the summer holidays, I was bored and thought I would see a film, I made my way over to the Brighton multiplex. When I arrived there were posters advertising a "Student summer pass". The mentioned product gave unlimited access to the cinema for either 15,30 or 45 days depending on price (around £20,£30,£40).
Cue me thinking this would be great and watching between 5 and 7 films a day for the first 3 days, on the fourth day the cinema manager refused to let me use the ticket.
I wasn't happy and made a complaint to the head office, a full refund and a two 45 day tickets with seat upgrades and complimentary popcorn and a soft drink for each film as compensation.
Needless to say me and a friend spent the whole summer watching 3-5 films a day. I kept my tickets as a reminder for a while, Me and my friend had approximately 150 ticket stubs each by the time our passes expired.
Without the ticket prices that's a hell of a lot of popcorn and medium cola that the cinema had to fork out for...
(Wed 14th Nov 2007, 16:03, More)
» I don't understand the attraction
Pretty much all physical intimacy
Reality TV
James Corden
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:08, More)
Pretty much all physical intimacy
Reality TV
James Corden
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:08, More)
» Customers from Hell
Not so much from hell
My sister has just returned from a holiday in France, where she was travelling with some friends of the family. Upon her return she shared this tale about her travelling companions:
When they arrived in france, the friends of the family went to pick up a hire car they had booked.
When payment was required the husband handed over his credit card, only for it to be declined and cut in half in front of him. This made him very angry, he demanded to know why the card had been cut up - it was 4 years out of date!
(thinking he would be clever, to prevent multiple cards being lost or stolen, this was the only card he took with him)
His wife had a look through her purse... result, she had taken her new platinum card with her, and gave the card to the man on the rental stall.
The person then asked for her driving license. (thinking she would be clever, to prevent losing or getting her driving license stolen, she left it at home)
So now there was the dilema, one has a driving license, the other has a credit card in their name.
They ended up with a very large cash advance on the good credit card and having to pay a 300 Euro penalty for refusing to give a valid credit card.
(Mon 8th Sep 2008, 15:08, More)
Not so much from hell
My sister has just returned from a holiday in France, where she was travelling with some friends of the family. Upon her return she shared this tale about her travelling companions:
When they arrived in france, the friends of the family went to pick up a hire car they had booked.
When payment was required the husband handed over his credit card, only for it to be declined and cut in half in front of him. This made him very angry, he demanded to know why the card had been cut up - it was 4 years out of date!
(thinking he would be clever, to prevent multiple cards being lost or stolen, this was the only card he took with him)
His wife had a look through her purse... result, she had taken her new platinum card with her, and gave the card to the man on the rental stall.
The person then asked for her driving license. (thinking she would be clever, to prevent losing or getting her driving license stolen, she left it at home)
So now there was the dilema, one has a driving license, the other has a credit card in their name.
They ended up with a very large cash advance on the good credit card and having to pay a 300 Euro penalty for refusing to give a valid credit card.
(Mon 8th Sep 2008, 15:08, More)