» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Dry Pussy
I like cats, not particularly squeamish though; So when two mates and I were cleaning out a horrendously packed full of crap garage (to the roof) and found the mummified cat under a mattress, I wasn't fazed. Despite the agonised look on its'half eaten face.

I (the veggie) went to clean it up, whilst the other two (manly meat types) cringed and whimpered. It was interesting from an anatomy point of view so I smiled evilly at them and after wrapping it, popped my new friend in the haversac (that worried them)
and trundled off on my ancient motorbike.

Here's the good bit.
I rode over to Maxines' place a mile away (said I'd visit) and her strange mate Dave was there.
Thinking I could get more fun from my crumbly new pal, I went in and exclaimed

"Bet you can't guess what I've got in my rucksac (hehheh)"

Dave just looked me directly and calmly said, "a dead cat" before settling down in his armchair, smiling.

Neither of the mates at the garage knew where I was going, Maxine or Dave.

I'll never understand how Dave was right, he KNEW.
Brrr.

Irony:-
I still have the cat, but the mice have been nibbling at it.
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 21:59, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

Weird chase.
Repetitive dream.

For a number of years, on and off, I’ve had this repetitive dream.
Not every week or month but on and off over the years at sort of random intervals.

Although vivid, I don’t see it in colour, rather a sort of scratched, washed-out sepia as though on a movie from the 1920s; a whiff of cigar smoke in the salty air.


Here is how it goes:-

“I’m standing in a street in New York the date is 1984 waiting for a bus, somehow everything is blurred, no, not blurred, indistinct.

There are people running past, away from something, I don’t recognise any of them, yet four seem familiar in overalls. They carry some sort of weapon each, held out in front of them and run the other way.

Then I see it, or rather, part of it.
A bloated whiteness, so large it fills the spaces between the buildings and the sky.

Running toward the careering bus, the doors opening as I jump.
Closing behind me, just.
Desperately looking about, there is no-one here, nobody even driving the strange old bus. So I make for the steps to the upper deck, there must be somebody here?

To my horror the steps go on and on, never ending.
Shattered by now, I clamber onward until I finally run out of puff. Looking up, I see it, written before me on the whiteness STAY PUFT”


And that’s how it usually ends,
my ghost-bus-stairs nightmare.


/runs off cackling
(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 1:21, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Bastard 1995 Triumph Thunderbird
One day I saw one and heard the torquey triple roaring motorcycle goodness, no way I could afford it at £8K though.

Years later I spotted one in the paper £3Kish 7000 miles, older owner who was a bit freaked out by the power, garaged FSH etc.
Heaven, scrambled to get cash and by nightfall it was MINE.
Wonderful engine, virtually new and better than sex (even sex with other people), drool slobber. Fwapping over torque delivery, I was in love.

Disappointment 1
No female interest (like I cared) it only attracted blokes over 40!

Disappointment 2
It broke the crankshaft, fixed it, then the starter motor, wiring shorted, new crankshaft was dodgy fuckbastardnobbingtwatburgershitshitshit,
*weeps bitterly into beer*

Approx £1400 to fix, no cash left, the thing languishes in my garage to this day.

I spit at it and kick its' tyres when going past it.

Hatehatehate.
(Sun 29th Jun 2008, 16:46, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Hand built ZX81
one of the kits they sold for about £70.
And my bloody Commodore VIC20, sold for a tenner.
Silly bitch.

(1981, oh noe i hav the oldness)
(Mon 18th Aug 2008, 13:35, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

My biggest disappointment
is that I have high expectations, which leads to bigger disappointments because I'm disappointed with the failure of reality to live up to my high expectations; Which disappoints me, as I have high expectations of myself, leading to even bigger disappointments with myself...

*holds head in neurosis loop*
(Mon 30th Jun 2008, 16:20, More)