» Spoooky Coincidence

When I was 16 I was standing at a set of traffic lights waiting to cross...
When the Green man showed a car shot around the corner and past me at high speed, thinking that I had just escaped a close call, I continued to cross the road....only to be hit by a Police CID car chasing the previous car.

Anyways, I woke up went to hospital etc etc while the kind and very apologetic plain clothes police called my parents. They got my Dad, who upon hearing the news went white and nearly collapsed.

I thought he was just really upset I had been hit...he was...it was also because his sister had been killed by a vehicle accident many decades before on the same date, at the same time, at the same age, more or less in the same place and they got the phone call from the police around the same time of the day as well.

I was well freaked out.
(Thu 8th Feb 2007, 16:33, More)

» Advice from Old People

When my oldest brother had reached the age of...
about 16, he started running around with his mate(who we shall call Steve)a lot more at night and started going to pubs, drinking and of course chasing women.

Now me and my brothers lived a sheltered life and had quite restrictive parents, so did Steve and eventually his dad came over to see my dad about the whole 'running around town' scenario as he called it. Now Steve's dad said something along the lines of:

"You know Mr Bamboo Steamer I am not to happy the way you let your son run all over the town with Steve to all hours of the night and this chasing girls thing...I don't want him making any 'mistakes', if you know what I mean"

To which my dad replied with the best advice ever:

"Oh I agree but look at it this way...at least we havn't raised a couple of poofs now have we?"

Steve's dad:

"You know, I had never thought of it that way before, all the best...bye!" and promptly left and never complained again.

Heh heh, even now 20 years later it makes me laugh.
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 19:39, More)

» Family Feuds

My middle bother....
is a lying, manipulative, devious, thieving shite, and my mother still defends the bastard to the hilt.

So far the list of his transgressions are as follows:

1)orders an entire room full of furniture on my credit card, refuses to pay it back to this day citing the reason "sure that was ages ago"

2)Moves into a new house, tells my mother he's too poor to buy furniture...she gives him our furniture...yes ours, which him and his ugly girlfriend then sell.

3)Sells my guitar, playstation, stereo, books, DVD's, DVD players, old toys, mobile phone etc etc, the list goes on (all on separate occaisions) claiming them as his own just to make some spare cash.

4) Tried to steal my dad's air rifle and sell that, but he's not the brightest and was stopped by the police as he walked past the police station with it over his shoulder.

5) The lies, I can't go into detail here becasue there is so much of it but the lies...the never ending lies and stories. You could catch him eating the last biscuit, half of it still in his hand and when asked if he is eating the last biscuit he would still say "no, it wasn't me" as he chews.

6) The ultimate transgression and the main reason that our feud has carried on for over a decade, while my parents were on holiday years ago my Grandmother took ill, as she lay in her own bed, with her kidneys and liver failing my brother stole around £500 from her purse in front of her, drove to Belfast an hour later and bought himself a lovely £499 guitar effects pedal............. After he was found out my parents let him keep the fucking thing, didn't call the police and to this day almost deny the whole thing ever happened, so he got away with it.

So as a result there is an ongoing fued between me, my brother, mum and dad that erupts every time i visit.. He's almost 40 now and still living at home, not paying any rent and my mum makes him a packed lunch and dinner in the evening everyday of the week.

My only supporter is my eldest brother. However the fury for my middle brother still boils underneath the the surface of my skin when I see him and sometimes my parents for letting him get away with shit like this to this very day.

Im no angel either I might add, no one is but theres a line that family should never cross.
(Fri 13th Nov 2009, 15:36, More)

» Common

A few years ago I was at a x-mas party with some old friends from uni....
It was an awkward night to begin with since I hadn't seen these people in a long time but my girlfriend had kept in touch with them so it wasn't too bad.

Anyway, this was in Belfast at X-mas 2006 and if you know of anyone who has studied at Queens University they can become quite..how to put it....'up their own arse'. They seem to think Belfast is this great city of culture and they are at the hub of all civilization...but yet I digress once again.

This party was going along quite nicely, I was popping out for the occaisional smoke and then chatting to different peeps all night. At once stage I was talking to the hostess in her living room and noticed that a lot of the guests had gone into the kitchen and suddenly become quite loud. I asked her what was going on and her reply was this:

"Oh, thats Joe's fault he has some coke with him and they are all snorting it but they are cutting it with a cash card so i'm not having any"

I looked at her puzzled, and she said

"Well unless it's cut with a minimum of a credit card, i prefer a gold one of course, it's not going up my nose!"

I grabbed my coat, politely made my excuses and left. fucking twats
(Thu 16th Oct 2008, 21:54, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Not the best ever...
but still made me chuckle

Apologies if it's on here already
(Sun 6th May 2007, 23:54, More)