Bigger and sadder

(Wed 13th Aug 2008, 23:34, More)

note to zoo & nuts.. If you want to use this, I would very much like a wii, thank you so very much. I'll even provide a non-tagged version.
/media whore
(Thu 5th Apr 2007, 17:16, More)

Kill me now...

(Wed 28th Feb 2007, 8:42, More)

Sanitary Owl

bigger!
More of this sort of thing
.
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 21:13, More)

Lemon Party
   (biromash redux) as suggested by Dr. Dyslexia


clickie for bigger lemons

Previously: 64 63 62 61 60 59 58 57 56 55 54
53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39
38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24
23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8
7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Biro art
(Mon 17th Jul 2006, 18:03, More)

Click for BIGGER and with soundbiro-art
(Sun 7th May 2006, 1:10, More)

reluctANT

bigger!

Previously: 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Sun 22nd Jan 2006, 17:00, More)

S'not funny, having a cold.

previously:biroart
Something he ate?
Eww, Stop that!
Christmas!!

(Sat 31st Dec 2005, 17:20, More)

A Frog in Drag
as suggested by Funtastic Pony magic


bigger!biroart

Previously: 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Sat 17th Dec 2005, 18:08, More)

Stop that you dirty boy................ Oh. My mistake.

previously

biro-art

(Sun 11th Dec 2005, 20:48, More)

» Stupid Tourists

I'm English and I'm a black bloke,
When I worked at Butlins in Somerset an American tourist once refered to me as a "British African American"
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 14:07, More)

» Customers from Hell

It was a dark and stormy night
and I was working for the largest electricity distributor in England in the call centre that took incoming fault reports from customers with loss of supply.
Our area covered more than five million homes and tonight the network was taking a hammering with gale force winds, flooding and general biblical style chaos.
At 2 in the morning we had nearly 3 million homes without power and nearly 200 calls in the call queue from irate members of the public wanting the know just what the fuck we were doing about it.
I finish with my call, count the standard five seconds we are allowed to collect our thoughts between call before the earpiect bleeps indicating the next call in coming though.
BEEP
"Welcome to the 24/7 supply fault line, please start by giving me your postcode."

"Never mind that, I just need to know where I can buy a pen"

"A.. a pen?"

"What are you? Simple? A pen, a biro, le stilo a bloody pen! Call this customer service? I need a damned pen"

"Madam, it's two in the morning and you've called the electric board fault line on possibly our busiest night this year"

"I know that! I'm not stupid, I just want to do my crossword, are you going to tell me where I can buy a pen or not?"

"I'm sorry Madam, I have callers waiting to report faults waiting to get through, I suggest you go to a shop in the morning. Goodnight"

Bizarre. Just bizarre.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 19:08, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

Never been much of a team player
But when our school started doing rugby, I found I quite enjoyed it and got picked for the team.

Fast forward to our first inter-school match and there's this huge fat bloke with the ball barraling down the pitch towards me. I know by body weight isn't going to stop him with a body tackle, so I dive for his legs in an attempt to trip him up.

Remember, this is rugby, like American Football but without all the nancy padding.

The tackle worked, but as he fell, he landed with his full fat-bloke weight on his knee on MY COLLARBONE and snapped it like a twig.

At this point though, I'm all hyped up on adrenaline and don't realise what's happened but after a few minutes, the pain in my shoulder gets the better of me and I wander off the pitch towards the school.

The deputy head of the school is also the designated first aider (no school nurse in a rural school of 200 pupils in 1981).
He decides that my shoulder is dislocated, grabs my arm and yanks it hard.
This treatment completes the break, totaly seperating the bone into two pieces.
There really was no need for that.

I passed out, but not before screaming and calling my Deputy Headmaster a 'fucking wally'.
Strangely, he never mentioned the incident...
(Mon 20th Jun 2005, 3:02, More)

» Weird Traditions

If we're out driving
and me or Mrs Nobody need the loo, it's tradition to sing to the tune of the William Tell Overture (Lone Ranger Theme):

Wanna wee wanna wee wanna wee wee wee,
Wanna wee wanna wee wanna wee wee wee,
Wanna wee wanna wee wanna wee wee wee,
Wanna weeeeeee!
wanna wee wee wee
(Sat 30th Jul 2005, 21:53, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

I don't know if this has already been posted.
This is the most offensive joke I've ever heard and I've never re-told it before.
_____________________________
There's this guy, and he's having sex with his girlfriend for the first time and she shouts, "stop! please stop! it hurts!"

So he stops for a while, then when she's ready carries on.

A few minutes later she's in pain again, "stop!" she cries, "it really really hurts!"

So again he stops, and gets her to keep him hard with a couple of strokes while she braces herself again.

Off they go again, but he's barely got into his rythm when she screams, "Stop! it's too much! it's excrutiating!"

"Ooh," he says, "that's a long word for a five year old"
________________________________
Like I said. Offensive is oh so many ways.
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 2:41, More)