» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

On my last day working in an office
I went out at lunchtime and bought three wooden spoons and some string. With a permanent marker I had brought in, I wrote FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY on each spoon, and hung one in each toilet cubicle. I thought it was funny, but someone else obviously didn't - they'd been removed by the end of lunch.
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 15:57, More)

» Abusing freebies

This isn't my story, but I think this chap deserves props.
www.snopes.com/business/deals/pudding.asp

For the link-shy, it's the (true!) story of a man who took advantage of a special offer that gave you free air-miles with every purchase of some brand of pudding. Man bought a metric fuckton of pudding and accumulated over a million airmiles. Best of all, he donated the puddings themselves to the Sally Army so could declare them as a tax write-off!
(Sat 10th Nov 2007, 18:12, More)

» Council Cunts

Every couple of years we have to apply for a new Blue Badge
(for non Britons, it's a parking permit that lets disabled drivers, or those driving disabled passengers, park in places where normal drivers may not), for the benefit of my brother, who is a genuine, honest-to-dog mong.

And every time it takes ages and lots of forms to get him one, because they question us fiercely over whether he really needs one. The implication of this, as we tell them each time, is that they're telling us either
a) all the previous Badges were issued in error
b) he's magically got better from being a mong.

Twats.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 12:57, More)

» Other people's diaries

I read my mum's diary once.
But it was okay; she let me do so. She and I were sorting through a box of her old stuff, and she passed me the diary so I could have a read of it. It was mostly about me and the things I'd done/said, as I'd been a small child when it was written.

More specifically, it was mostly about my poo.

I've kept poo diaries in the past, and so have other people here, but has anyone else had one kept for them?

Furthermore, has anyone dropped their trousers to piss on the sofa with visitors present? Apparently I did.
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 17:51, More)

» Jobsworths

I bought a black pudding,
cut it open, scraped out the insides and ate it (this was my pre-vegan days, obviously), then crapped in the skin. I took the pooey sausage-effect back to the butcher and claimed it smelled of shit. He agreed, and gave me my money back! Woo! Definitely got my jobbie's worth there.

Oh, wait, that's not what the question said...
(Thu 12th May 2005, 17:14, More)