Profile for I was penalized for that:
My b3ta gallery
Born 1974. Male. I am married and have a son. And a job. My wife claims that some of my hair is starting to turn gray, a fact which I fervently deny. On the upside, my eyesight is as sharp as ever. I am sometimes amazed by the number of people who turn out to be secretly using contact lenses.
But I am digressing.
I am a foreigner and I live in a foreign country*) which (oddly) doesn't seem foreign to me. We are known for our dairy products, bacon, and for mocking large, monotheistic religions. Sometimes we meet at the pub to drink cream and lager, eat bacon, and poke fun at monotheistic prophets. At the end of the night we find ourselves deliberately violating religious doctrine from all major world religions. From that point on everything becomes a blur.
The next day we are really hung over. But we can't help it. Sorry. It's our culture. Can't change culture. It's a DNA thing.
But I am digressing once again.
I like to draw and to play around with my tablet. I think it it important to be able to draw with a real pen on real paper, yet I consistently find myself missing the "undo" function. Drawing with a tablet is more carefree as I can make countless attempts at getting the right feel to a particular line. I guess this is like taking photos with a digital camera. Click 20 times but just keep the best photo. More fun. Or different. Dunno.
I don't make any money from my drawing skills, though I guess I wouldn't mind doing so. I have a mighty fine job as a software developer so I don't really need the money. I specialize in Java but I know about a dozen computer languages. Created my first computer program (using Sinclair ZX81 BASIC) at age ten. Was a bit of a geek back then I suppose. Most of my classmates were rural dimwits anyway, so I didn't really care. I've been living in cities for more than a decade now and I enjoy it.
I have a fancy computer science degree. If you have the skills and the means, do get an education. Yes, I'm serious. But don't spend all your time with the books, make sure to get out as well. You will meet interesting people and have fun along the way. And if you pick the right education you will have employers lining up to kiss your arse afterwards. Which is pleasant. Very. Much. So.
I guess that I use b3ta as an outlet for the general weird ideas that I get and for the drawings and photoshopping that I create. In many cases a better choice would be to archive it where the sun doesn't shine. But that is a strictly no entry area, so sorry, no can do, ma'am.
*) Update: I have now moved to a actual foreign country in the slightly-foreign-to-me-sense. It's a bit further to the north and somewhat less flat. But I can handle that. I think.
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My b3ta gallery
Born 1974. Male. I am married and have a son. And a job. My wife claims that some of my hair is starting to turn gray, a fact which I fervently deny. On the upside, my eyesight is as sharp as ever. I am sometimes amazed by the number of people who turn out to be secretly using contact lenses.
But I am digressing.
I am a foreigner and I live in a foreign country*) which (oddly) doesn't seem foreign to me. We are known for our dairy products, bacon, and for mocking large, monotheistic religions. Sometimes we meet at the pub to drink cream and lager, eat bacon, and poke fun at monotheistic prophets. At the end of the night we find ourselves deliberately violating religious doctrine from all major world religions. From that point on everything becomes a blur.
The next day we are really hung over. But we can't help it. Sorry. It's our culture. Can't change culture. It's a DNA thing.
But I am digressing once again.
I like to draw and to play around with my tablet. I think it it important to be able to draw with a real pen on real paper, yet I consistently find myself missing the "undo" function. Drawing with a tablet is more carefree as I can make countless attempts at getting the right feel to a particular line. I guess this is like taking photos with a digital camera. Click 20 times but just keep the best photo. More fun. Or different. Dunno.
I don't make any money from my drawing skills, though I guess I wouldn't mind doing so. I have a mighty fine job as a software developer so I don't really need the money. I specialize in Java but I know about a dozen computer languages. Created my first computer program (using Sinclair ZX81 BASIC) at age ten. Was a bit of a geek back then I suppose. Most of my classmates were rural dimwits anyway, so I didn't really care. I've been living in cities for more than a decade now and I enjoy it.
I have a fancy computer science degree. If you have the skills and the means, do get an education. Yes, I'm serious. But don't spend all your time with the books, make sure to get out as well. You will meet interesting people and have fun along the way. And if you pick the right education you will have employers lining up to kiss your arse afterwards. Which is pleasant. Very. Much. So.
I guess that I use b3ta as an outlet for the general weird ideas that I get and for the drawings and photoshopping that I create. In many cases a better choice would be to archive it where the sun doesn't shine. But that is a strictly no entry area, so sorry, no can do, ma'am.
*) Update: I have now moved to a actual foreign country in the slightly-foreign-to-me-sense. It's a bit further to the north and somewhat less flat. But I can handle that. I think.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Evil Pranks
My office mate ..
.. has set his Windows backdrop to a photo of his house. It's a nice house and he doesn't lock his PC. I'm subtly photoshopping the image every weekend, replacing it by a new version on Monday morning. This far I've removed several windows, the mailbox, various stuff, and the chimney, and I have changed some colours.
He hasn't noticed yet. I hope that once he notices, he'll wonder for a while if his memory is failing him. I don't think he knows the capabilities of Photoshop, so there is a fair chance that it will be fun.
This weekend I plan to add the first garden gnome.
Come to think of it, I'm probably not evil, but I might be mildly irritating.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 15:05, More)
My office mate ..
.. has set his Windows backdrop to a photo of his house. It's a nice house and he doesn't lock his PC. I'm subtly photoshopping the image every weekend, replacing it by a new version on Monday morning. This far I've removed several windows, the mailbox, various stuff, and the chimney, and I have changed some colours.
He hasn't noticed yet. I hope that once he notices, he'll wonder for a while if his memory is failing him. I don't think he knows the capabilities of Photoshop, so there is a fair chance that it will be fun.
This weekend I plan to add the first garden gnome.
Come to think of it, I'm probably not evil, but I might be mildly irritating.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 15:05, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
I have a friend who is a preacherman ..
.. or whichever title is appropriate, in this case your language seems to have a lot of words for the same thing. He conducts sermons in a free church. Utterly nice chap, extrovert, splendid sense of humour. He once stated that I would have fit in perfectly with Monty Python. Did I mention that he is a nice chap?
Since I'm not really religious in any meningful sense, I've never seen him at work, but apparently it's both entertaining and fairly informal. You know, electric guitars, digital projectors, etc.
Last year he asked me if I could illustrate a passage from the Bible (I don't recall which) for his sermon. Use my creativity. Make something interesting. This was in the wake of the Mohammed Caricature crisis and the embassy fires had not entirely died out, so naturally I came up with this idea:
Oddly, it was turned down. Not by my friend though; he still holds the drawing in high regard and occasionally apologises that he was never allowed to use it.
(Sat 24th Nov 2007, 12:36, More)
I have a friend who is a preacherman ..
.. or whichever title is appropriate, in this case your language seems to have a lot of words for the same thing. He conducts sermons in a free church. Utterly nice chap, extrovert, splendid sense of humour. He once stated that I would have fit in perfectly with Monty Python. Did I mention that he is a nice chap?
Since I'm not really religious in any meningful sense, I've never seen him at work, but apparently it's both entertaining and fairly informal. You know, electric guitars, digital projectors, etc.
Last year he asked me if I could illustrate a passage from the Bible (I don't recall which) for his sermon. Use my creativity. Make something interesting. This was in the wake of the Mohammed Caricature crisis and the embassy fires had not entirely died out, so naturally I came up with this idea:
Oddly, it was turned down. Not by my friend though; he still holds the drawing in high regard and occasionally apologises that he was never allowed to use it.
(Sat 24th Nov 2007, 12:36, More)
» My most gullible moment
Over time ..
.. any software module deteriorates as a results of accumulated defects, poor design decisions, unreadable code and general software enthrophy. At some point it becomes quicker and cleaner to rewrite it from scratch than to try to maintain the existing code.
So I was thrilled to hear that the core of Windows Vista had been rewritten from scratch. This was bound to be a major improvement over XP.
And so I bought it. And next time I'll buy a Mac.
(Mon 25th Aug 2008, 20:41, More)
Over time ..
.. any software module deteriorates as a results of accumulated defects, poor design decisions, unreadable code and general software enthrophy. At some point it becomes quicker and cleaner to rewrite it from scratch than to try to maintain the existing code.
So I was thrilled to hear that the core of Windows Vista had been rewritten from scratch. This was bound to be a major improvement over XP.
And so I bought it. And next time I'll buy a Mac.
(Mon 25th Aug 2008, 20:41, More)
» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade
I write software for the military
It's an advanced system which is used to plan and execute orders. Lots of secret information.
But our users disregard our system and use Excel instead because it enables them to do the planning on their laptop at home. Occasionally they type the information into our system afterwards.
The amazing thing is that they don't follow orders. There is no way to order them to use the system. This seems to be the dirty secret of the military: *people don't follow orders*.
I take this as a hint to stay clear of all wars.
Still not convinced? Don't get me started about the general quality of military software ..
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 12:54, More)
I write software for the military
It's an advanced system which is used to plan and execute orders. Lots of secret information.
But our users disregard our system and use Excel instead because it enables them to do the planning on their laptop at home. Occasionally they type the information into our system afterwards.
The amazing thing is that they don't follow orders. There is no way to order them to use the system. This seems to be the dirty secret of the military: *people don't follow orders*.
I take this as a hint to stay clear of all wars.
Still not convinced? Don't get me started about the general quality of military software ..
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 12:54, More)
» The Worst Journey in the World
The dusty, hot Guatemalan town of El Estor ..
.. is located on the shore of lake Izabal. This was our last stop before we entered the highlands. In the morning we would head for Tactic by chicken bus.
Inquired in advance about the schedule for the bus but got three different answers from three different people. Decided to get up early in the morning. Spent all morning at the main square waiting for a bus to arrive. In the end we almost settled for an uncomfy pickup truck ride when the bus finally pulled in. Entered the bus and waited. Waited.
After an hour we asked if the bus would leave now and got a yes. Later found out that in Latin America, "ahora" did not mean "now" but "today". Oh.
After another hour, the bus driver started the bus and rattled along the unpaved streets of El Estor. Even more people entered the bus along the way. Eventually it came to a stop. We had returned to the main square. Same spot, even. More waiting. Hot sun shining.
Aften half an hour we finally got on out way, bumped along the town roads, returned to the same spot. Bus driver must have decided that he could squeeze in a few more passengers.
At this point I was laughing at the absurdity of it all. My wife, on the other hand, broke down crying and cursing and shouting in all directions. I think she would count this trip as one of the worst journeys that she ever had. I still laugh at it.
Half an hour later the motor started again, this time we were on our way, for real. The driving was suicidal as always but the view was magnificent.
(Thu 7th Sep 2006, 14:14, More)
The dusty, hot Guatemalan town of El Estor ..
.. is located on the shore of lake Izabal. This was our last stop before we entered the highlands. In the morning we would head for Tactic by chicken bus.
Inquired in advance about the schedule for the bus but got three different answers from three different people. Decided to get up early in the morning. Spent all morning at the main square waiting for a bus to arrive. In the end we almost settled for an uncomfy pickup truck ride when the bus finally pulled in. Entered the bus and waited. Waited.
After an hour we asked if the bus would leave now and got a yes. Later found out that in Latin America, "ahora" did not mean "now" but "today". Oh.
After another hour, the bus driver started the bus and rattled along the unpaved streets of El Estor. Even more people entered the bus along the way. Eventually it came to a stop. We had returned to the main square. Same spot, even. More waiting. Hot sun shining.
Aften half an hour we finally got on out way, bumped along the town roads, returned to the same spot. Bus driver must have decided that he could squeeze in a few more passengers.
At this point I was laughing at the absurdity of it all. My wife, on the other hand, broke down crying and cursing and shouting in all directions. I think she would count this trip as one of the worst journeys that she ever had. I still laugh at it.
Half an hour later the motor started again, this time we were on our way, for real. The driving was suicidal as always but the view was magnificent.
(Thu 7th Sep 2006, 14:14, More)