Profile for Weetobix:
Male, 31, from Bristol.
Spends far too much time reading B3ta when he should be working
Go on then, have a picture of me
Me and my lovelylady fiance
Formalwear
Achievements:
MeStuff:
Flickr
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 3 months and 23 days
- has posted 3094 messages on the main board
- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 6 messages on the talk board
- has posted 21 messages on the links board
- (including 7 links)
- has posted 64 stories and 76 replies on question of the week
- They liked 794 pictures, 42 links, 0 talk posts, and 690 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Male, 31, from Bristol.
Spends far too much time reading B3ta when he should be working
Go on then, have a picture of me
Me and my lovely
Formalwear
Achievements:
MeStuff:
Flickr
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» My Wanking Disasters
Oh Emma!
My cousin was walking back from a club with some friends a few years back, when they saw a single parked car in a cark park.
Inside was a man, slumped forward looking rather dead, so they flagged down a passing police car for help.
The policeman went up to the car, took out his truncheon and tapped politely on the window, at which point the 'corpse' woke up.
Mr Plod asked him if he was ok and if he would step out of the car. The man said he would really rather stay there, but the policeman insisted.
The car door was opened and the policemen, my cousin and her friends were in for a treat - the man had trousers and pants round his ankles, a cardboard cutout of Baby Spice, and his todger poking through a handy hole in said cutout.
Turns out he wasn't dead, he'd just wanked himself unconscious.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 10:38, More)
Oh Emma!
My cousin was walking back from a club with some friends a few years back, when they saw a single parked car in a cark park.
Inside was a man, slumped forward looking rather dead, so they flagged down a passing police car for help.
The policeman went up to the car, took out his truncheon and tapped politely on the window, at which point the 'corpse' woke up.
Mr Plod asked him if he was ok and if he would step out of the car. The man said he would really rather stay there, but the policeman insisted.
The car door was opened and the policemen, my cousin and her friends were in for a treat - the man had trousers and pants round his ankles, a cardboard cutout of Baby Spice, and his todger poking through a handy hole in said cutout.
Turns out he wasn't dead, he'd just wanked himself unconscious.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 10:38, More)
» When were you last really scared?
Zoom
A mate of mine used to work 30 miles from where he lived at the time with his parents.
One day the phone rang which he casually answered to hear his mother screaming and crying down the phone
"OHMYGODPLEASECOMEQUICKPLEEEEASEWAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!"
Fuck! She's being attacked/raped/killed he immediately thought.
He Jumped on his motorbike, made it home in under 20 minutes (30 miles remember - you do the math), ran into the house with the motorbike on it's side, engine still running with the nearest heavy object he could use for a weapon.
Inside, ready to beat the assailant to death, he found his mum with an embarressed expression on her face.
"WHAT????"
"Oh... there was a spider. But the neighbour got rid of it."
"WHAT???????"
"Well it was a really big one!"
(Thu 22nd Feb 2007, 16:57, More)
Zoom
A mate of mine used to work 30 miles from where he lived at the time with his parents.
One day the phone rang which he casually answered to hear his mother screaming and crying down the phone
"OHMYGODPLEASECOMEQUICKPLEEEEASEWAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!"
Fuck! She's being attacked/raped/killed he immediately thought.
He Jumped on his motorbike, made it home in under 20 minutes (30 miles remember - you do the math), ran into the house with the motorbike on it's side, engine still running with the nearest heavy object he could use for a weapon.
Inside, ready to beat the assailant to death, he found his mum with an embarressed expression on her face.
"WHAT????"
"Oh... there was a spider. But the neighbour got rid of it."
"WHAT???????"
"Well it was a really big one!"
(Thu 22nd Feb 2007, 16:57, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Ahh, PC Hijacking
My previous job had a great crowd of people on the work floor (the programmers and testers), toilet humour a plenty and counterstrike matches at lunchtime, but it also meant you couldn't leave your pc alone for 2 mins without locking it.
Most memorable was the time the only girl in the department left hers unattended for 3 minutes, and everyone else on the floor received the following email:
"Hi everyone, I just thought you'd like to know that me and my boyfriend tried anal sex for the first time last night. I quite liked it, but he said it made his arse hurt."
(Wed 4th May 2005, 16:07, More)
Ahh, PC Hijacking
My previous job had a great crowd of people on the work floor (the programmers and testers), toilet humour a plenty and counterstrike matches at lunchtime, but it also meant you couldn't leave your pc alone for 2 mins without locking it.
Most memorable was the time the only girl in the department left hers unattended for 3 minutes, and everyone else on the floor received the following email:
"Hi everyone, I just thought you'd like to know that me and my boyfriend tried anal sex for the first time last night. I quite liked it, but he said it made his arse hurt."
(Wed 4th May 2005, 16:07, More)
» Being told off as an adult
This happened many years ago
Infact it's about a friend of my dads, back in University days in Swansea in the late 50s.
Howell, was walking back from the pub one night a little worse for wear, when he decided it would be a good idea to climb a lamp post.
Fair play, he maanged to get to the top in his drunken state, but as he was admiring the view he heard a stern voice from ground level.
"Oi! You there!"
He looked down to see a man in a familiar blue uniform.
"Get down NOW!"
He carefully did so
"Right! You follow me."
So off they went in the direction of the police station.
After about a mile, Howell realised it was infact a bus conductor.
(Wed 26th Sep 2007, 0:06, More)
This happened many years ago
Infact it's about a friend of my dads, back in University days in Swansea in the late 50s.
Howell, was walking back from the pub one night a little worse for wear, when he decided it would be a good idea to climb a lamp post.
Fair play, he maanged to get to the top in his drunken state, but as he was admiring the view he heard a stern voice from ground level.
"Oi! You there!"
He looked down to see a man in a familiar blue uniform.
"Get down NOW!"
He carefully did so
"Right! You follow me."
So off they went in the direction of the police station.
After about a mile, Howell realised it was infact a bus conductor.
(Wed 26th Sep 2007, 0:06, More)