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Profile for Zak McFlimby:
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Lanky doofus from Geordieland, UK.




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Recent front page messages:

Oh do hurry up Phillip... we'll be late for the party.


Good 'ning all. Friiiiiiiiday! :)
(Fri 28th Aug 2009, 10:05, More)



(Tue 25th Aug 2009, 15:06, More)

It's not always wartime, sometimes they get to go on their...

(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 12:23, More)

:)

(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 9:39, More)

If you think Twitter is shite now
you should have seen it before the Internet

(Thu 7th May 2009, 10:01, More)

Arf!

(Mon 16th Mar 2009, 15:05, More)

Arghhh! hehe
Oh, and can I bodge this in here?

(Fri 5th Dec 2008, 14:39, More)

:)

(Tue 16th Sep 2008, 11:57, More)



(Wed 13th Aug 2008, 21:31, More)

Some silliness before hometime

(Wed 21st May 2008, 17:09, More)

Best answers to questions:

» When I met the parents

1st time I met my girlfriend's parents
there was a barrage of intense questioning within seconds of arriving

"Have you slept with Julie yet?"
"Do you treat her with respect in the bedroom?"
"Are you ever selfish in bed with her?"
"Have you ever had anal sex with Julie?"
etc.

Once they had answered my questions, I agreed to go in and have dinner with them.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 14:38, More)

» Dad Jokes

whenever I annoy him
he dances about, pointing at me and singing "I shagged your mum, I shagged your mum".
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 13:14, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

I used to have a very stupid dog.
To see if he was completely dense, we tried training him to do a few tricks (sit, roll-over, beg, give a paw etc.) with limited success.

One morning, he was dozing in his favourite spot on the landing at the top of the stairs.
As I passed him, I said "Hello boy! Roll over!" - expecting him to look blankly at me as normal, but on this occasion he performed with instant obedience and rolled-over.
All the way off the edge of the stairs.
And kept on (involuntarily) rolling-over down every stair until he landed at the bottom and learnt a new trick - play dead.

Fortunately, he was ok but I felt really guilty.

He wouldn't do tricks after that. (and I don't blame him).
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 11:50, More)

» School Days

I always fondly remember
strapping fireworks to the class mong and watching him flapping up and down the corridor trying to pat them out with his little flipper hands.

Happy days.

Well, it was funny until the headmaster caught me red handed and told me I'd never work in his school again.
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 13:05, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

when some of the crowd were
on the pitch.
(Thu 21st Jul 2005, 11:36, More)
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