Well, if Friz was at the birth there was at least one shitty cunt in attendance

( magnum, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 22:36, More)

alright cowfoot
you smell nice
( MrA, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 20:16, More)

SWF
GWF
GIF

Job done.
( mns pies , served with brandy butter, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 18:01, More)

"c:\claims\templates\gonz"
- "got_excited_by_dog\car.doc"
- "got_excited_by_dog\lampost.doc"
- "got_excited_by_dog\pavement.doc"
- "slipped_on_spunk\shower.doc"
- "slipped_on_spunk\kitchen.doc"
- "slipped_on_spunk\dinner_plate.doc"
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:14, More)

Is he from Dominoes?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:05, More)

Two things to make you happy:
1: I would
2: I never will
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:59, More)

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:51, More)

Toad in the bumhole.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 11:12, More)

Hahaha, poetry. I don't care if you hate it.
A snail called Kevin came into my house
His shell was all cracked and distorted.
He looked like he'd had quite a hell of a night
I asked what disaster he'd courted.
"Dese fookin' great birds tried to peck me guts out"
cried the battered forlorn gastropod.
From this I deduced that the snail was Scouse
so I smashed in his face with a rod.
( Aardvark in a Manger Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 23:18, More)

Is this what's replacing Wogan?

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 22:04, More)

For fucks sake
www.b3ta.com/talk/5348776

Edit: Double FOR FUCKS SAKE
( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:04, More)

I used to have a pair of those
I loved them. They we pink and hairy.
( jenpots, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:27, More)

I bought my first Christmas present just now. Loads of old 2000ad graphic novels for my brother
I've still got no idea what to get my mum.

I thought about covering myself in raspberry jam and try to climb back into her vagina so I could give her the gift of child birth again.

She could wake up on Christmas day and be like "Why are there step ladders by my bed OHH FUCK HHUUURRRRRRRNNNN!!!!" *BLOOOSH* "HALLOW MUM! MERRY CHRISTMAS! AGOO!"

All women always talk about how having kids is a wonderful thing so it makes sense.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:59, More)

I prefer this one:
imagechan.com/images/364d59a055534851b499af91cf6129ba.jpg
( Flapjack - a nasty case of the Afghan Surge, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:27, More)

She opened her legs, Sync could hear a rumbling, it was getting closer and closer and....OMG VAGINAL STAMPEDE! BREEEEEEEE!!!!

28 Elephants and 3 White Rhinos charge out of the hairy lagoon, crushing his fast food fed body. his dying words were "Dagnabbit, done gone a pissed my bed with a whoop WHOOP NIGGER!"
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:08, More)

Watch that attitude, missy.
he's making a list, he's checking it twice
he's gonna find out who's flounced and who's nice
mike_woz_ere is coming to town.
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:47, More)

I always write to the parents of girls who won't sleep with me, maybe they can put in a good word and convince her.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 17:49, More)

I'm pretty certrain that's not what springy called the child

( SuperMatt, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:18, More)

I would have bent forwards and had a tinybitaboob fall out
then said to him "You're right. I'll make sure I never come to my door again in my dressing gown."

I would have closed the door and pushed my hairless fanny against the letterbox, lifting my dressing gown thus showing my clopper whilst making it look like a screaming hawk with added flapping arms.

That would show him. If I was a girl in a dressing gown. obviously.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 11:51, More)

My personal bugbear is people who sneer at other using anything other than rigid standard english.

( Mu 's lovely horse stomping through the field, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 7:44, More)