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Nobody?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:09, archived)
Anybodyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I need...etc.

Morning WP. Last night I went to see that Kingsman: The Golden Circle thingy, and somebody might as well have burnt my neck, because I didn't like it.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:11, archived)
It looks like complete shit.
The first movie I got through 20 minutes and turned it off. It's comedy for people who like James Corden
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:14, archived)
Ah, the first one's a bit of fun, so it is.
It doesn't try to be anything other than an entertaining bit of fluff. I LIKED IT ANYWAY, and I'm only tenuously aware of who James Corden is.

They got struck down by a terminal attack of laziness for the second one, though: the main plot is exactly the same as in the first one, they binned the characters they spent the first time developing and replaced them with less interesting ones, and it's considerably more lowbrow.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:21, archived)
I bet you watch Mrs Brown's boys

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:22, archived)
Nope.
But I'd be interested to hear why you thought I did.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:25, archived)
I just get the feeling it'd be for you.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)
I've just wikied it and it looks utterly dire.
Are you lumping it and Kingsman into the same basket? Because, y'know, I'd take issue with that.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:44, archived)
You can take issue if you want.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:52, archived)
+t

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)
I shall.
There was a homeless guy about 20 years ago who spent his days on Broad Street yelling "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Issuuuuuuuuuuuuuue...", like a town cryer. I wonder what happened to him.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)
Hi there.
I ended up here. Small world, innit?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
Mind: blown

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)
Lego Ninja Film for me tomorrow
Pray for me
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)
Lego Batman was much better than it ought to have been,
so it might not be terrible. The Ninjago TV series isn't great, though.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)
Batman was pretty good
but it was less 'Batman: The Movie' and more 'Lego Dimensions: The Movie'. Not a criticism, just an observation
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
Quite.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:02, archived)
Do you know what really boils my greens?
You go to see a CHILD's film, aimed at CHILDREN, and there are 20 minutes of car ads, insurance ads, and god knows what else. Yes, they're aimed at the parents, of course, but try to keep a 4 year old kid occupied through all those commercials. Cunts, Boyce. They're all cunts.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)
Yeah, 4 year old kids really ARE all cunts, you're right

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
Mine certainly were

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:02, archived)
When we saw Homecoming at the cinema,
it was preceded by a long advert for some psychological murder thriller on Sky. Felt really out of place, given the number of kids in the audience.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:04, archived)
We went to see Despicable Me 3, and there was a trailer for that new Queen Victoria film
It was the same age certification, but not really for the same crowd
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)
If you know how long the adverts are going to be why not turn up a bit later?
You're not duty bound to watch them you know.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:52, archived)
Because if I'm late, it'll be the one time that they cut the adverts short and I miss the beginning of the film
that's why
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:57, archived)
^ this.
The nice thing about seeing films at the local theatre is that they show no adverts at all.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:02, archived)
I always turn up about 10-15 minutes late and have never been caught out.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:17, archived)
I liked the first one, but the sequel looks a bit forced.
Also, Channing Tatum is a crap action hero. And a crap actor, for that matter.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
lol, I thought you meant the lego film for a moment

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:02, archived)
Tatum was superman in the Lego movie, wasn't he?
That fat prick from Superbad was green lantern, too. I hate them so much.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)
Hiya

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:12, archived)
How's you?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:14, archived)
I'm alright ta, yirsel?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:37, archived)
I am well.
I hope you die.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:42, archived)
Reporting this to the mods.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)
I love you

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:12, archived)
I'm by the sea. One of the dogs tried to eat a crab. It didn't go very well for either creature.
We had a crab funeral. I cried.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:15, archived)
sending thoughts and prayers your way

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:18, archived)
Oh, yeah.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)
A crab funeral?
Dinner then.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:45, archived)
I wouldn't eat a crab my dog found.
If it's slow enough to get caught by my dog it's almost certainly diseased
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:57, archived)
If you like my bodeeeee
and you think I'm sexeh

Come on windy let me knooooooow

MORNING!
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:38, archived)
It's not working out Gary.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:42, archived)
It's a heartache
Nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late
Hits you when you're down

Fuck I hate Rod Stewart's stuff...
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:45, archived)
Arab Strap do a great cover of that

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:49, archived)
I think any song sung by Stewart
would be improved by being covered by someone else.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)
He's shit isn't he
Apart from Hot Legs
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:55, archived)
Yeah, he looks great in a kilt.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:13, archived)
No they don't.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)
Oooh

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)
you tell him m8

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)
I'm going to smash his stupid strap right off his stupid arab face

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)
YEAH

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
it's about time someone stood up to his nonsense
especially as the mods are clearly doing nothing
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)
I wonder if we all wish really hard at the same time he'll become banned again

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
But who will ban him?
God is dead and Manolith hasn't been seen in weeks
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
I've drafted a letter to rob, if we can all sign it I'll pop it in the post tonight
The question is, will the Royal Mail deliver to a tent in a layby?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)
As long as it's got enough stamps, they have to
BY LAW
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)
Royal mail post men have the same powers as policemen

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:09, archived)
TIL

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:12, archived)
Maybe you should start a gaz petition

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)
not in the spirit of /ot lolz

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:37, archived)
Hi

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:46, archived)
There's a spa here.
Should I get a hot stone massage?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)
If you want to, sure
It's not my cup of tea, but if that's the sort of thing you enjoy, why not!
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)
I want to use the complimentary spa time, but I also want to limit the amount of time a stranger is touching me.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)
Ah, I see
What other services do they offer? You're right, it'd be silly to pass up something free
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
A range of sports massage, a relaxing all body massage, a hot stone massage, a yoga session, reiki, guided meditation, skin scrape, and something called mental health through body wealth

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)
Yikes
Seems like picking the best of a bad bunch. Fucking skin scrape?? Hells bells.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:18, archived)
why would you massage a stone, hot or otherwise?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)
You can romance a stone, so massaging it's the next logical step.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)
Happy ending?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
You can get blood from a stone, so you can get...etc. etc.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)
can do the shing-a-ling like I do

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:51, archived)
Who put the bomp in the bompty bompty bomp

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:55, archived)
that was me m8

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)
mcbeef

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:57, archived)
some sex offender

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)
I could watch Jenna Fischer jump around to that, all day
Apologies to those who have no idea what I'm talking about
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:57, archived)
apology accepted

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)
you're a good friend

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)

jump around to that
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)
I'd like to know what you're on about.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)
Some might say 'NSFW'
i.imgur.com/QRirFIy.mp4
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:14, archived)
This is a family forum mate.
If manolith wasn't dead you'd be for it.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)
HE works for ME
I've got all of these damn mods in my pocket
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:17, archived)
And manolith is giving a high five.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)
I don't know what you're talking about but that won't stop me googling images of her in the nip

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
I don't know what you're talking about,
but at least I got dressed.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:16, archived)
beats the Biz
(nobody beats the Biiiz)
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:55, archived)
I beat him at chess and he paid me 30 quid to never tell anyone.
The cheque bounced, so here we are.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:02, archived)
typical Biz, he's full of shit

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)
Does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)
Recent bond themes have been disappointing

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:08, archived)
Sam Smith, Garbage, Jack White & Alicia Keys, Madonna
We are looking at you.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:17, archived)
Same Smith has a terrible voice, and can't really carry a tune.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:21, archived)
What was the last one that you could definitively call a 'classic'?
Living Daylights, maybe? Has there been a decent one since then?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)
I liked the Casino Royal one,

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:23, archived)
You Know My Name is a decent song

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:33, archived)
I reckon the last proper one might be that Tina Turner Goldeneye one.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:25, archived)
Oh yeah

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:28, archived)
That Sam Smith nonsense was horrendous.
Adele's effort in Skyfall at least had the decency to sound like a Bond theme.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:22, archived)
I reckon Skee-lo should do one

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:29, archived)
and then, he should 'do one'

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:30, archived)
Perhaps as a duet with Danielle Bregoli.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:34, archived)
Defo
I love everything she does
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:36, archived)
howbowdah

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:51, archived)
oh shit
what have I done?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:52, archived)
Right, I've Googled her.
How are you supposed to pronounce "bhad bhabie"? Are the haitches silent or is it supposed to sound really breathy?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:47, archived)
god you're so square
no wonder your kids hate you so much
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:50, archived)
Pogs are still cool though, right?
Disclaimer: I've no idea what a pog is.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:54, archived)
I know what they are
but I never really understood what they were for. They were like big tiddly-winks, right? No idea.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:58, archived)
lol tiddly

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)
hahaha
u nutter
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)
lol

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:33, archived)
Dunno.
Simpsons mentions them quite a bit, but I assume they're one of those things that didn't really make it across the Atlantic.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:00, archived)
Oh no, we had them over here

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:01, archived)
Wikipedia has the game as "milk caps".
Looks completely unfamiliar.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:23, archived)
I think it was one of these flash in a pan things
that if you weren't a certain age, it would've passed you by
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:26, archived)
Probably too old.
Marbles was my playground game.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:33, archived)
You've basically got two options.
You can treat it as Hebew and say "b'had b'habie", or you can decide it's Scots Gaelic and read it as a kind of breathy 'v'.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:03, archived)
I don't really like either, to be honest.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:17, archived)
This was potentially the song
For Quantum of Solace
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:40, archived)
That's more like it
Mind you....here comes Bond

www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4IiktFp3p4

Worth considering
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:43, archived)
The next film ought to feature the main character rapping his own theme.
That ought to reconnect the franchise with the youth demographic.
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:50, archived)
While dressed in a tracksuit and brandishing a bottle of WKD.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:56, archived)
Name's Bond, innit blud?
James Bond, ya get me fam? Licensed to get lit, yeah!

That is how the kids talk, I presume?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:09, archived)
If Kingsman's anything to go by, yeah.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:27, archived)
Safe.

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:31, archived)
looks like it's you
morning all. another cunty day at work so be good, yeah?
(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:10, archived)
Mods are busy. Post skinks.



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(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:13, archived)
Do cullen skinks count?

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)
x

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)
Jesus be with you

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:22, archived)
don't worry I'll keep an eye on things here for you

(, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)