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Alright. Now it's only going to get INCREDIBLY serious for the hairy backed.
Report in to JMG with current internet complaints.

/edit
Well done JMG. I've solved another case of overweight, over-excited internet usage.
Congratulations, JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:57, archived)
xoxoxoxoxoxxxoxoxoxoxox

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:58, archived)
No time for your comedy binary code there, Nerd.
Onwards and upwards, it's JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:58, archived)
can i just point out that it is utter shit here?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:58, archived)
Whenever I do that, there's hell on.
It's this two faced, eight chinned attitude which SPOILS it for me.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
i assume somebody upset the question of the tedious and they are turning up here, or only spastics are online tonight

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:01, archived)
I managed to calm down /QOTW only a fortnight or so ago.
I set the tone of the place, and that tone was CALM.


Then /Links got themselves in to a state not long after.
Again, I was heralded as a hero of all boards as I once again calmed an uprising from the yellowheaded.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:02, archived)
it's like plugging a leak in a sieve jmg

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:06, archived)
Badger is always sucking up to you, because he wants to be a massive egotistic wanker like you. Apparently.
Poor Chart Cat. He doesn't understand.
(I helped save b3ta! We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:18, archived)
I feel the flop-sweated have now taken to falling out with people JMG respects on here.
As a substitute for arguing with me.

:(



Poor Badger. He's taking the shrapnel of the wobblers.
All because he was popular and on the Newsletter.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:24, archived)
I'm here.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples is wondering if he has soiled himself., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:04, archived)
your a golden nugget of sweetcorn in this sewer of shit

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:05, archived)
nyomnyomnyomnyomnyomnyom

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples is wondering if he has soiled himself., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:07, archived)
fuck orf back to /board you cunt

(rosalicious i fucking love christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:23, archived)
dog bites man, film at 11

(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
aww man, that film is awesome.
what channel?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
erm, Cbeebies?

(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:04, archived)
is it on right after the chris langham special?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:06, archived)
shame i'm too poorly to stay up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:01, archived)
BEECHAMS YOU SOPPY CUNT
DO AS YOURE TOLD
(rosalicious i fucking love christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)
why aren't the beatles on spotify?

(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:58, archived)
I think it's something to do with me.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
Beatles vs JMG
yes..

Ringo and Paul vs JMG.. hahahaha.. I'd pay £7 at the local cinema to see that.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
Sumwun wuz meen 2 me bt i 4geted hiz nam

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:58, archived)
Not right now Internet.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
what is this shit?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:01, archived)
I don't know, you can tell me though.

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:04, archived)
it's like some Scope hostle has recycled enough coke cans to get a new computer and the residents are all having a go on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:05, archived)
I'm headwanding as we speak

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:06, archived)
alright scopey?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:07, archived)
You have my duck his name is lao ping don't hurt. he's worth over 25coke cans

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)
i think i might use ignore for the first time

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:10, archived)
do it

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:11, archived)
nah, i'd only pretend to do it anyway.
i couldn't bear not knowing what everyone was jabbering on about.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:14, archived)
aww thanks. I thought you were some kind of cold heartless being.
In honour of your noble deed I will be forever at your service
(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:17, archived)
i'll just refer to it as scopey.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:07, archived)
Hi, I'm Jonathan from Spotify.

(I helped save b3ta! Dekionplexis 3176 Black Sunshine, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
I used to be a virgin too.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
Jonathan does not understand the concept of intercourse.
spotify:track:3iaGdarzOVDxJreoymzhEz
(I helped save b3ta! Dekionplexis 3176 Black Sunshine, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
Are you the one with the lisp or is that Doctor Dyslexia?
I get you both muddled up.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:03, archived)
Hi, I'm Jonathan from Spotify.
How may I direct your call?
spotify:track:2GOcde6C8b4jH17cYgKzlp
(I helped save b3ta! Dekionplexis 3176 Black Sunshine, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:04, archived)
Not right now Virgin.
Please hold the line.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:05, archived)
This is Jonathan from Spotify.
Hi, how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Dekionplexis 3176 Black Sunshine, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:07, archived)
Hi, I'm Ethyl from /talk
Nice to meet you.
(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
Jonathan from Spotify's mum has died.
spotify:track:2GOcde6C8b4jH17cYgKzlp
(I helped save b3ta! Dekionplexis 3176 Black Sunshine, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:03, archived)
Yeah I did this ages ago.

(I helped save b3ta! Rocking Around the SexFace Tree Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:33, archived)
Who let in all these cunts JMG?
It's spoiling my internets.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, archived)
This is probably my fault.
They've probably been tearful at something I've said in the past. Or it's Gilgamesh's fault.

But probably Baldmonkey's fault.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
Hi I'm Mr Cunt from Cunt land
I'd like to bugger you with a strimmer, please.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:01, archived)
You're more than welcome to try.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:06, archived)
fuck that shit cunts shit right up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:08, archived)
fuck you monger

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:10, archived)
I can see this one lasting.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:12, archived)
you need to say the magic word
GONADS
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:08, archived)
No, you need to say the magic word.
GOODBYE
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:15, archived)
I wish I'd spent the evening reading my book instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:00, archived)
Don't worry.
I've already got a handle on this.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:03, archived)
i have faith in you jmg, but this may be a gigantic task ahead.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:05, archived)
There's some gigantic people.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:06, archived)
that was implied,
fat internet had a wobble, this must be it's revenge.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:08, archived)
The internet makes me sigh
*sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:02, archived)
In all fairness.
Now I'm here it's all about to his a crescendo.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:03, archived)
I've been being succesful on GTA tonight. This place has gone to shit.

(I helped save b3ta! JackFrostAction The answer to your first question is SHADDUP., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:08, archived)
I'm going through the new episode myself, yes.
*Firm handshakes*
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)
it's even worse than baldmonkey's brand of post-comedy.
sad times :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)

-comedy
ing
(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:17, archived)
The internet is shit

(I helped save b3ta! little cwfoot little cwfoot on a dusty road optimise for blindness, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:08, archived)
Nothing new there.
Don't worry. I'm on the case.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)
where the fuck have you been?
sort this shower out cowfoo
(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:17, archived)
t

(I helped save b3ta! Derek the halls with boughs of Monte show us yer gnawed ratmeat darlin', Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:18, archived)
Oh so you've surfaced have you?

(I helped save b3ta! We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:19, archived)
jmg where is my money?

(I helped save b3ta! Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:09, archived)
Your banks!
Damn them, the banks!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:10, archived)
oh thank you, i hadn't thought of looking there

(I helped save b3ta! Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:12, archived)
I've just got in. This is ridiculously shit.

(I helped save b3ta! HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:10, archived)
this is what happens when you shave man,
it's all your fault, keep that in mind.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:11, archived)
I'm sorry man. I'll force it out twice as quick.
Hope cr3 bans the shit second accounts like that last stupid fucker.
(I helped save b3ta! HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:13, archived)
I've clamped the shit pipe.
I terrify terrible internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:12, archived)
JMG, stop being calm and go fucking batshit mental on their pointless arses.
The internet needs it.
(I helped save b3ta! HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:15, archived)
I believe these people may have taken GMoS hostage.
Nothing will stop us taking back our beloved GMoS.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:26, archived)
I'm proud of him, I really am.
No flounce, not DRAMATIC ATTENTION SEEKING. Just glided away from us which makes us miss him even more.

God bless him. God bless him.
(I helped save b3ta! HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:30, archived)
JMG, how can I be as handsome and manly and powerful as you?
There's 0.25 euros in it for you
(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:14, archived)
Can't help you Buddy.
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:17, archived)
Not even for 0.50 euros?

(I helped save b3ta! Scopey Ethyl ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:18, archived)