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Everyone who says anything unpleasant in response to this message is the content of their message x2 back at them.
Please note 'unpleasant'. So, if you say something nice then it only applies to me.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:45, Reply)
u ok babe?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:45, Reply)
Yeah. ;)

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:02, Reply)
stick it up your wounds, shit-rind

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:49, Reply)
Why is talk so angry?
Can't you just make pictures?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:51, Reply)
I'm not angry. It's just that you remind me of the rind on an old shit and I want you to stick things in your wounds.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:52, Reply)
I have no wounds.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Make some.
It's this lack of initiative that lost us the Empire.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:04, Reply)
I don't want to make any.
Gee, don't you get it? Wounds hurt, why would I want to make wounds in me?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:05, Reply)
because I asked nicely
your parents must have been awful cunts to raise you with such terrible manners
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:10, Reply)
You ever been raised on a diet of whips and shallots?
No.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:11, Reply)
WWJD?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:20, Reply)
He had a personal paramedic.
Not oft noted.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:21, Reply)
The hospital near me is called St Mary's
So y'know....there's that.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:26, Reply)
there can be only one, on the dark side luke vader, I love the empire goes on strike again film, know all the words, jebi I has

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:11, Reply)
I used to knew a guy who knew all the words.
To everything. He was a psychic. But he had short term psychic loss and could only 'predict' what people were going to say as they said.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:19, Reply)
wee-wee tapir

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:55, Reply)
Smooch

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:04, Reply)
CHUTNEY FERRET

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:26, Reply)
beyond my remit

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:00, Reply)
I don't know what that means, soz.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:05, Reply)
Apology accepted.
I have no gift tokens.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:06, Reply)
fuck off dolphinwhisper

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:12, Reply)
Who's Dolphinwhisper?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:15, Reply)
I have some sort of knob infection

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:16, Reply)
Are you infected by knobs?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:17, Reply)
No my knob is infected which is causing me some mild discomfort and concern

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:25, Reply)
Speak to Two Hats
(See above)
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:28, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:19, Reply)
Is an anagram of G is gin dust.
Spooky.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:21, Reply)
Spooky is an anagram of Sky Poo
Disgusting
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:25, Reply)
Disgusting is an anagram of gnitsugsid.
Banal
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:27, Reply)
zany ballbag

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:32, Reply)
Oh hi Dr. s
Not seen you rounds these parts for a while.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 20:34, Reply)
Fuck your threads and fuck your eyes and your horses.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:04, Reply)
Shit on a rancid cock and ride it.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:06, Reply)
a turd on both your houses

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:08, Reply)
things just got double-plus-sexy

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:09, Reply)
fuck off shambles

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:13, Reply)
triple sexy

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:13, Reply)
I'm covering this thread in shitty sexiness

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:14, Reply)
everybody loves shitplay

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:15, Reply)
especially mongy

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:16, Reply)
he loves a bit of shit does our mongy
laps it up like a cat laps cream
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)
if only the moser site was still up

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)
Oh, veronica!

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:22, Reply)
Laurie Anderson's much better B side.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:23, Reply)
discarded x - ray spex demo

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:27, Reply)
oh, veronica! my veronica! our fearful shit is done

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:28, Reply)
Shitty, fucking threads

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 18:13, Reply)
Why hasn't everyone just fucked off yet?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:01, Reply)
alright, mortal wombat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 19:10, Reply)
Nice new thread time! :)
Hello! :)
:)
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Fuck off nice new thread

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:19, Reply)
HELLO!

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:23, Reply)
*waves*
0/
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:38, Reply)

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(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:13, Reply)
Fuck off brb

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:26, Reply)
Tonight I am going to drink a few drinks
read the book I'm most of the way through, do some drawings, strip naked in front of a bonfire and sacrifice a goat.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:28, Reply)
No change there then

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:40, Reply)
just a quiet night in.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Okay.
I'm going to the hospital with a loved one, then enduring crap TV, probably write a tune on a small device, maybe get a takeaway, then watch a Four Horsemen documentary. WOOOOOO!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:43, Reply)
i hope your loved one pulls through xxx

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:45, Reply)
I too similarly to those above me, hope that your loved one is all peaches and cream.
I will sacrifice the goat for them.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Fuck off kewpie

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:54, Reply)
fuck off :)

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:00, Reply)
I hate I hate I HATE
Stripping wallpaper
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:40, Reply)
wallpaper is proper shit
almost as shit as built in wardrobes ON TOP of the fucking carpet who the fuck does that shit?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:53, Reply)
hire a stripper lololol

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:03, Reply)
Haha oh man
That's rude!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:33, Reply)
has anyone said fuck off yet?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:09, Reply)
all i ever really wanted was somebody to love me

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:11, Reply)
:'( </3

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:00, Reply)
hey, come on now. we all love you. It's just hard to express it with words.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:04, Reply)
alright the loveston

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:04, Reply)
hell yeah

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I drank every alcoholic drink I could find in my house last night
I now have no booze and it's Friday. Nice man in the shop will sell me some if I ask nicely.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:30, Reply)
you fucking needy prick

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 17:56, Reply)
look can everyone just fuck off

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:41, Reply)
Sure

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Sure

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:45, Reply)
i think everyone should fuck off except you and me, hun xxx

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:46, Reply)
ok

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:48, Reply)
let's make out

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:56, Reply)
which one of me should fuck off?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:54, Reply)
I'm having McDonald's as a treat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Actually, that is totally within my abilities.
But I'm going to stay, just to make you squirm.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:57, Reply)
^ Upset

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:11, Reply)
Bit negative.
Bit antisocial.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:14, Reply)
yeah bye

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:15, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:01, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:09, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
I can't comment properly without more information

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:13, Reply)
fuck off dozer apologist

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:14, Reply)
I was until you posted this

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:13, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:13, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:13, Reply)
hiya hun u ok?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:40, Reply)
What have i missed so far today then? Has anyone been upset about anything today?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:47, Reply)
fuck off spanishfly

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Fuck off Spanishfly

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:50, Reply)
fuck off Mortal Wombat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:53, Reply)
fuck off mortal wombat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:55, Reply)
alright, mortal wombat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:58, Reply)
alright shambollock

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:11, Reply)
Fuck off spanishfly

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:19, Reply)
I am so confused about who I am now.
I might have a sex change and call myself Kellie.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:33, Reply)
fuck off kellie

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:37, Reply)
my brain hurts.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:40, Reply)
fuck off kellie

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:38, Reply)
I just ate an apple that I grew myself in my own garden. It was alright too.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:27, Reply)
fuck off, fucksocks

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:33, Reply)
alright manolith.
great days.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:33, Reply)
yeah, today is pretty good actually

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:35, Reply)
I got a Thundercats mug that changes colour when it gets hot today.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:39, Reply)
fuck off, cheetara

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:45, Reply)
You utter cunt.
My desk is now swimming in coffee that has been fired from my mouth.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:53, Reply)
Doaz

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Fuck o...oh hang on, it's you!

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:53, Reply)
cameron doaz

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:34, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:00, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:25, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:33, Reply)
EN2 reporting in.
hahahahaa, remember that one.

You have a good day, ya' hear me? I want you to take it, own it, then spit it out like it was nothing.

#Positivity
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:46, Reply)
IG11 KRU 4 LYF3

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:55, Reply)
*Does that crossed-arm rap pose*

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:10, Reply)
you look like a spastic jew

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:15, Reply)
I maybe the jew, but you're the Yid.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Dr Shallombolic strikes again

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:56, Reply)
I came up with a great one a few months ago, i'm still chuckling to myself.
Someone told me something I ate wasn't Kosha (I don't keep kosha or care about it), so my reply was " Great observation Shilock Holmes "
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:32, Reply)
I clicked it then, I'm clicking it now

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:20, Reply)
yidflid

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:20, Reply)
also ... as a three-generation-lapsed Jew, I'm reporting you to the Race Hate police

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO A HOMELAND

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:30, Reply)
fuck that ... I'm not moving to a desert full of militants and Heebs

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:01, Reply)
I'm boycotting israel, I thew out all my tablets and mobile phones the other day

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:16, Reply)
bit careless ... there's practically nothing Israeli in any of them

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:14, Reply)
You've ovbously not ever swallowed a camera.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:25, Reply)
I don't understand.
I think you should replace it with a "do you have any Jew in you? would you like some?" joke.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:32, Reply)
Dis
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Given_Imaging
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:52, Reply)
Right. I'm definitely boycotting swallowing cameras.
That'll teach somebody something!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:59, Reply)

TO A HOMELAND LAUGH HERE DON'T WE
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:13, Reply)
<s>laugh</s> gas

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Zyklonly you could make that joke

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:36, Reply)
it's really funny, if you treblinka'bout it

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:41, Reply)
he saved my life

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:58, Reply)
Did you do a mediation course too?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:11, Reply)
I should do, I'd love to give my money away to such a wonderful man

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:13, Reply)
It all goes in the fight against the Illumnati, the world's biggest danger circa 17th century to date.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:14, Reply)
should I get that new sony tablet gonz, I have many Sony products and no apple ones currently

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:17, Reply)
The Z2?
Hold up just a few weeks, there are some big tech events in the beginning of sept. Now's a really bad time to buy tablets/phones in general.

I don't like the bevels on the Z2, but it looks proper durable - you could take it on a fishing trip and not have to worry about rain. I like the IR Blaster, combining that with a Sony TV probably can do some sweet stuff.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Also, fuck the haters, the Moto360 lookgs george.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Oddly enough
9to5google.com/2014/08/18/alleged-sony-documents-suggests-that-an-xperia-z3-tablet-compact-is-imminent/
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:39, Reply)
always saink new round the corner tho

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:49, Reply)
It's about once per year for each product per company, which is resonable really.
For the sake of a few weeks, might as well hold up.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:54, Reply)
when you say a few weeks, is this a on sale date or a look what we will eventually release in the future

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:59, Reply)
At most we're looking a couple of weeks from announcement, but in a lot of cases, it's next-day.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:39, Reply)
The main event starts on the 3rd of August.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:40, Reply)
that 360 will wear too big, it is too flat, they should of put a deep rehault on it

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:20, Reply)
I donno, looks about average to me.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:41, Reply)
dunno can't find a spec, but 40mm is big on a flat watch

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:08, Reply)
'spesh if you got skinny wrists, I see what you mean, but looking at people using them it doesn't look redonkulas.
They'll be new ones on the 3rd, maybe something a bit more stylish.

Apparently it's gonna retail at $250, so you're looking at about 200. I'd snap that up if I was an Android user. Really hoping Apple show off their version on the 9th.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
I like how the new update means apps can use the external storage again. Wish they'd do the same for my z2 phone
bloody kitkat
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I think the tablet is kitkat too, I'm not really fussy over that, it's the waterproof bit I like

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:55, Reply)
I was all Samsung until last year, then I realised Samsung make cheap plastic shit and am buying sony instead.
I encourage those around me to buy apple stuff so I can feel superior to them.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:45, Reply)
I ain't a fan of Samsung, even if I was a fan of android, I wouldn't like Samsung.
I really don't get their fanbase, HTC/Sony make much nicer equipment.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:54, Reply)
510030
morning gonz.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:59, Reply)
Aii'ght Zou, hows it hanging?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:11, Reply)
(annoyed grunt)
Haven't seen you on here for a while.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Yah', mostly on /OT when on here, but i'm hardly here anyway, too busy doing Awesome Things.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
still homeless over here, but hopefully not for long

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:03, Reply)
Man, do you think you could tuck your willy between your legs? 'cus, if soo, I can put you up on my couch.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:12, Reply)
the commute might be a bit of a pain
otherwise i am 100% into this plan
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:14, Reply)
I've been seeing the news, I didn't realise that there was Employment outside of Lonodn

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:30, Reply)
use this opportunity to get out of portsmouth
it's a pee pee soaked heck hole
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
yeah
but it's my peepee soaked heck hole
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:35, Reply)
If it wasn't for the kids, I'd leave
Seriously thought about buying a place in France a while back
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)
I refuse to take any further criticism from someone who doesn't even have a house.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:46, Reply)
well lucky for you, i have just made an offer on a place

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:49, Reply)
Morning Gonz
Not a keen start to the morning, why do people consider idiots to be adorable? Oh how cute, they're dim.

I just wish people who have to remember to breathe would just accidentally forget
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:09, Reply)
The whole idiot thing is one of my schtictz, works well for me, get away with all kinds of shit.
It's intentional tho' for me, I can do clever shit too.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:13, Reply)
it's ok...
there is a bee
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:13, Reply)
do i put the post code where i live or the post code where i work?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:26, Reply)
donno

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
what use are you, seriously?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Oh here we go, i don't get why you have to be like this. Do we really have to do this infront of everybody?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:36, Reply)
i can't speak to you when you're in this mood

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:47, Reply)
jesus, get a room

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:50, Reply)
no way, don't you remember what happened when sexface moved in with him?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:56, Reply)
ah yes
learn from history or doomed to repeat it, etc
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Sometimes I wish I never texted you that day.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:55, Reply)
I am having a good day actually, I think it helps that after this morning I won't have to see any patients until tuesday.
You have a good day too Gonz
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:42, Reply)
Sweet-as man.
My mates a doctor and she taught me about HeartBreak patients, that sounds rough.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:56, Reply)
They're called heartsink patients gonz, mongy is a good example.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:02, Reply)
I don't even go to gp's, they are fucking useless pakis or niggers

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:22, Reply)
Maybe you should try living somewhere that isn't shit

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)
better a well trained paki than some English educated bellend I suppose

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:09, Reply)
That's the one, got me words mixed up.
Poor Mongy, sometimes I question the lack of enforced volentary euphination.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Sup gonz
remember when I bought you present and you didn't buy me one?
Don't worry about it. I completely forgive you
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Alright Mono
What you up to these days?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:57, Reply)
Living the life of luxury.
you?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Sweet-as, remember, always cover the lower third - including the zero.
I'm doing good, got all kinds of crazy stuff going on at the moment.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Crazy like insane girlfriend?
Crazy like plotting to take over the world?
Define.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:06, Reply)
Second, I have Srs Bzns plans, came up with a system that should take the world by storm.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:40, Reply)
I'm busy automating myself and my colleagues out of work.
Though someone will need to fix the automation when it breaks.
And they'll need to pay me twice the price to keep me.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:44, Reply)
Screw that, it's best to get paid a price you're happy with to begin with rather than hiking up on Maintainance in retrospect.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:36, Reply)
I was happy with it.
I'm not anymore.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:44, Reply)
What changed?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Started getting completely ignored, newer people getting more recognition etc
rather than just quitting I'm making myself invaluable.
only one guy in the company sees what I'm doing as worthwhile money saving shit though.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Don't see why other people getting more praise means you need more money.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:53, Reply)
because they're getting more money than me for doing less work with less knowledge
keep up
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:00, Reply)
I just ate two crumpets!
I'd normally have four, but I'm cutting down, innit.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:27, Reply)
I used to have a sausage baguette (with mushrooms)
4 hash browns
and a fried slice
every friday
*fats*
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:29, Reply)
That
Sounds beautiful
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:30, Reply)
I didn't even have to make it either.

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:36, Reply)
i just had a bacon roll from spar

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:31, Reply)
Make your own, spar-bitch

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:46, Reply)
i'm at work, regular bitch

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Well you make them while you're at home, don't you
Honestly, this really is level 1 stuff, Manolith
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:04, Reply)
then i wouldn't have as much time for drinking tea and wanking
you have to think these things through, man

also, have you seen my gaz/text?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Yes!
Good news! Didn't get a text though... I don't think.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:14, Reply)
maybe i sent it to three hats by mistake

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Ok, I've discovered something new about mobile phones
You need to look at them if you want to read text messages
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:33, Reply)
for now, anyway. soon they'll be beamed directly into your noggin

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:44, Reply)
He ain't got a home yet

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Oh look at me, I'm tangledupinblue
I've never made sandwiches on an upturned dustbin lid while trying to block out the sound of tramps fucking
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:15, Reply)
don't hate me for my privileged background

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:26, Reply)
It's OK to fall down.
Get up, look sickening, and make them EAT IT!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:41, Reply)
my favourite saying is now:
stick your dick in a toaster.

Saying it to strangers is the best
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:50, Reply)
lolzwacky

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Like you better than Spanishfly
But not much. You watch yourself.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:36, Reply)
i think glovington has a problem:
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:48, Reply)
woah, i'm not in the top 10, i've got to up my game

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:55, Reply)
starting to lose my edge

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:14, Reply)
morning, shitheads

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 7:50, Reply)
whatever, no one cares

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:04, Reply)
you care
I can see it in the tremble of your lip when you furtively glance up at me.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:08, Reply)
Oh ok maybe a bit then

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:10, Reply)
I tell you what can fuck off ... this rubbish August weather ... it's shit and I won't stand for it

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:16, Reply)
cold today, maybe pop on a little jumper or a light weight jacket

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:17, Reply)
I might put on a slightly longer crop top

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:30, Reply)
its rubbish weather, my shorts got put away about 2 weeks ago

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:46, Reply)
i'm still in shorts and a tshirt
i will fight the encroaching autumn with sheer bloody-mindedness
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:10, Reply)
might have a crumpet for breakfast as a bit of a friday treat

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:04, Reply)
I like crumpets.
And trumpets. And strumpets. In fact, I don't think there's anything that rhymes with "crumpets" that I don't like.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:07, Reply)
bumsex
near-rhyme
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:33, Reply)
morning, shamhead

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:27, Reply)
alright, tanghead

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:31, Reply)
Shamalamadingdong

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 8:55, Reply)
rickadickabeefqueef

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 9:03, Reply)
I'm out of lager and into the rum now. Have some KAWAIIII Punk (Misfits, Ramones Black Flag in ONE BAND!)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jJliZupxLY
Oh yeah, I mentioned RUM, didn't I? DRINK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55CqLc6IR0
DRINK!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 2:20, Reply)
I am into some blue shit my bird has put in the cupboard in my kitchen.
She's got the day off tomorrow I haven't, but wait...if it's in MY kitchen then that makes it MINE right?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 2:22, Reply)
i just wanted to share a gif with you xxx
i.imgur.com/SWLhUXH.gif
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:10, Reply)
Mortal wombat checking in

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:50, Reply)
I knew you reminded me of someone

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:58, Reply)
Is it because I am crushingly dull?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:17, Reply)
Yes, and a bit nonce-y

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:40, Reply)
Not just a bit bro.
Get your fucking facts right man if your gonna start slingin la
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 1:33, Reply)
What do Richard Hammond and elton John have in common?
They both have skid marks on their helmets.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:54, Reply)
that's the sexies thing I've ever seen

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:13, Reply)
Sexies like the seventies?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:18, Reply)
Learn how to spell Spesh

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:18, Reply)
Gets a bit of his own Dr shambollocks
And runs and hides. Cunt.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 1:34, Reply)
Can I just leave this here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ17okFI-WI

I like Steve and everything he's doing here.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:43, Reply)
That reminds me

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:06, Reply)
Does anyone keep a /board fail archive?
I'm pretty sure this impressive backpedalling deserves a mention, if they do.
www.b3ta.com/board/11095376#post11095388
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:14, Reply)
Yes I do

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:18, Reply)
Hang on, no I don't soz

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:18, Reply)
thanks anyway, hunni xxx

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:19, Reply)
No probs love you xxx

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:00, Reply)
awww

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:19, Reply)
What the fuck are you going on about?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:22, Reply)
words on a screen, or something

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:23, Reply)
what bit do I wank to?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:28, Reply)
non fictional child abuse is okay, I think

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:33, Reply)
Toast is a prick and encapsulated the death of /board and enhanced it

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:35, Reply)
MODS!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:37, Reply)
that fucking Clan Soul / whatever the fuck he was called killed it stone dead for me
Psychedelic Warlord?
Along with the general unpleasant behaviour around the deaths of friends.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:42, Reply)
It was the hijacking of deaths of friends for make benefit of glorious charity
that killed it for me.

Each to their own though, eh?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:46, Reply)
what was that?
I don't know if I noticed. You mean Jahled and cat sanctuary stuff?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:48, Reply)
Pretty much, yeah.
Last London bash I went to became all too embarrassingly about bidding for stuff for the cat charity, the whole meeting-up-with/remembering friends things seemed to be jettisoned at the door.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:54, Reply)
I wasn't even referring to Nina
I was thinking of Jonathan. But yeah. I have a lot to say about *** and organisation/thought.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:58, Reply)
I think we are now re-hashing drunken conversations we had 5 years ago in a pub toilet.
I love the internet.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:09, Reply)
but without the coke and the cock sucking

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:10, Reply)
lol ur doin it rong

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:19, Reply)
Does anyone on here have any experience of design for 3D printing?
And fancy earning a few quid?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:59, Reply)
The second part, aye.
The first. No idea.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:02, Reply)
JMG

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:43, Reply)
JMG!
Word to everyone's moms.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Howay!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:30, Reply)
ian botham's footpenis

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:42, Reply)
"Banter"

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:04, Reply)
well i write the software for it
why?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:04, Reply)
shut up MGT

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
I'll do it for £900,000

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:09, Reply)
I'll do it for £899,999

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:15, Reply)
fuck!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)
can't compete, I'm out :(

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)
I'll do it for £10 plus expenses
which will be 899,999.99
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:57, Reply)
buying this?
www.watchtime.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/48_jaeger_lecoultre_hybris.jpg
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:00, Reply)
I'll buy it for you

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:20, Reply)
Yup to both, hire me, I'm good at this shit and will in no way spunk the money on inappropriate things

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:09, Reply)
You've got some fucking nerve asking me that
Go on, fuck off. And take your 3D cock with you
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:31, Reply)
I've heard of it if that counts.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:49, Reply)
^ typical gp

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Write a prescription for it
and then when I phone up to query it because it doesn't make sense, your receptionist can go "I dunno lol"
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:03, Reply)
I'm afraid I can't prescribe that because the CCG won't let me and anyway you've had your ten minutes so fuck off

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:12, Reply)
read that as pinting, so I'm disapoint a bit now

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
What mongy is trying to say is that he's a massive disappointment.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:58, Reply)
not enough adversity in my life I suppose

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:19, Reply)
yeah ok

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:11, Reply)
not a single gaz, you can't be in that much of a hurry

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:40, Reply)
It's a doddle
Put some red ink highlighter on the left side of all the objects in the print
then put some blue ink highlighter on the right side

that'll be 200 please
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:15, Reply)
yes and yes

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:40, Reply)
No, because I'm not a home-jewellery making idiot
fuck off with your idiotic plastic rubbish
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:53, Reply)
I have a faded photo of Vera Lynn if that's any help?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:26, Reply)
I can help

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:36, Reply)
Yeah
I'm designing a Cyvasse board and pieces at the minute, so I've done a bit of looking into it
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:15, Reply)
anybody fancy a snog?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:11, Reply)
pederast

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)
Boy, do I?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)
Can you answer a question with a question?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)
Can you?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:18, Reply)
Hope this finds you well?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:23, Reply)
What do you reckon?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:46, Reply)
How's your bumhole this afternoon?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:54, Reply)
not if it's a rhetorical question

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:05, Reply)
Sure.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)
OH BOY!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:25, Reply)
no thanks
our beards would velcro together
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:21, Reply)
with sexy results

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:25, Reply)
Does everyone here have beards? Or just the women?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:37, Reply)
fucking
bearded hipster cunts

I hope they burn their faces off in a horror birthday cake accident
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:59, Reply)
^ can't grow a beard

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)
ignore Baggenfock
His mother's been a beard for years. It's a sore point.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)

I'll give them this
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:30, Reply)
between the butt cheeks, please.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:34, Reply)
up yours, dickface

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:49, Reply)
Snog as in the bent frozen yoghurt emporium? Bit gay m8, I'd rather kiss a man.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:04, Reply)
dunno what that is soz ... sounds like something only a bender would know about

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:07, Reply)
Maybe it's only in London, you might not know about it because you live in Slough with a pizza oven or something I dunno I only skim read stuff tbh

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:09, Reply)
everybody in London is a bender

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:11, Reply)
Even if you only work there?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:13, Reply)
closet benders

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:14, Reply)
Shit, better re-evaluate my entire lifestyle

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:15, Reply)
I think you'd better.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:17, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:18, Reply)
Jesus do you take me for some kind of TART?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:44, Reply)
he's a snake, a gay snake, not to be trusted

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:58, Reply)
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:03, Reply)

gay meat
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:04, Reply)
meaty

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Not many white faces amongst that lot but worth considering.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:11, Reply)
a well grounded transfer policy, that one

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Liverpool have just agreed a fee for Mario Balotelli.
Negotiations are ongoing
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Well that was an experience.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Go on, fat Phil. Nothing like a Jew that sees money slipping through his fingers

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:16, Reply)

youtu.be/T_ZBqpEUbik
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:29, Reply)
there's enough dogs in cardiff for us all to go around

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:31, Reply)
^Dog Fingerer
wa waaaa wa
He's the man, the man with the canine touch
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:38, Reply)
i was merely quoting
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/08/21/malky-mackay-iain-moody_n_5697030.html
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:41, Reply)
aaah, i see. I'm not really up to date with the news. despite spending all day fucking around on the internet.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:10, Reply)
my office is full of dogs, so he ain't wrong

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:52, Reply)

office dog
dogs fingers
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:55, Reply)

dog hovercraft
fingers eels
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:58, Reply)
zany

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:06, Reply)
i'm mad, me

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:08, Reply)

imgs.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/pets/2011/06/24/dogwork2.jpg
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:55, Reply)
well they can't play cards all the time

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I share the pain of the two terriers

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:01, Reply)
I count 3

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 15:19, Reply)
By jungle law, the Ghost Who Walks calls forth the power of two terriers.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 16:37, Reply)
are you ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssure?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:04, Reply)
I think someone in our department will be made redundant in a few months at this rate.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:13, Reply)
my place put an advert up for voluntary redundancy and they were massively oversubscribed

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:17, Reply)
This place has been appealing for people to take VR for the last 3 years
when this fails they just switch to firing everyone.

The morale here, as you can imagine, is vibrant.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:22, Reply)
I heard he was romantically involved with ian botham's footpenis

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:20, Reply)
ok

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:20, Reply)
ouroboros

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:48, Reply)
is it you that always posts references to Red Dwarf?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 15:34, Reply)
It's been one week since you looked at me!
Just kidding, it's been ages.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:02, Reply)
not any more!
honk
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:06, Reply)
That's my face.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:07, Reply)
sounds like a gameshow

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)
People enter rooms with mirrors or sheet glass, behind the sheet glass are people that are dressed similarly or look similar to the contestant.
The contestant must shout "THAT'S MY FACE" when they go into the room with the standard mirror rather than the sheet of glass.

The winner is awarded a soybean preserved in a block of perspex.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:25, Reply)
ok, i think we have our pitch
onwards... to the studio!
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:31, Reply)
now we just need a host.
Why don't we encourage one of the people from All Saints to do it?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Des O'connor?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, Reply)
MY FAVOURITE ALL SAINT

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)
posh saint, baby saint, scary saint, sport saint and des o'connor saint

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:21, Reply)
take your pick

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
aight gosh?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Hello Glovella

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:21, Reply)
hello. Bad news, I have to stay here till the end of the day
there is no jesus, I'm not in the pub being paid for it.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:35, Reply)
There are 10,000 herons in Beijing
and they all own pushbikes.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:37, Reply)
thats a fact, It's a thing you can't deny

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)
I ent never looked at you
Except that one time
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:27, Reply)
My face is a distraction from my heart...
it's not really, my face is what is on the front of my head.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)
that was the front?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:31, Reply)
I don't shave very much
and I really should put an end to eating chocolate so aggressively.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
Stamping on it beforehand is a tad unnecessary

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:10, Reply)

truthfrequencyradio.com/man-arrested-after-jars-and-jars-of-human-penises-discovered-in-his-apartment/
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)
a lot of cocks

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)
it's a protest for penal reform

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:07, Reply)
har de har har

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)
I thought so too

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:23, Reply)
i wasn't going to say anything but i know you get a bit pouty if your jokes go unacknowledged

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
not only that, but it kind of keeps things moving and makes the page not look quite so dead on its arse.
alt: Thanks for your suppport, it means a lot.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:31, Reply)
We are kings

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:52, Reply)
gmos in the motherfucking hmos

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:57, Reply)
that's true.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:09, Reply)

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