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the Tories are evil and incompetent
and i am going to bed
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:18, Reply)
Please do some campaigning
in your dreams, at least then in your fantasies you may avoid the coming landslide...
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:31, Reply)
Would it be worse if they were evil and competent, though?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:39, Reply)
I hate to say it
(and I am a member of Labour) but we are nice and even more incompetent.

The tories set out to be horrible, and succeeded. All else is colattoralle (spell check not working on this Brazilian PC - I normally missspell words so badly...)
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:46, Reply)
I considered joining Labour, at one point,
but realised I could achieve the same by setting light to a pile of twenties.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:53, Reply)
Green is the only real opposition, haha

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:54, Reply)
Haha.
Still, a safer "protest vote" than UKIP.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 23:05, Reply)
Actually, that's not really true.
My thought process was "I'd like to support Corbyn, but what would be the point of funding a party that hates him?"
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:55, Reply)
Nope.
Just evil by the look of it
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 23:03, Reply)
Theresa May is just a bully with no real firmly held beliefs, easily led by the cuntiest person in the room.
This fetishisation of strong leadership will not end well.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 23:09, Reply)
Non GS thread
Alright
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:27, Reply)
Lol blanked
Clearly you're all round Tango's bumming up a storm
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:51, Reply)
in b4 bumming

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:52, Reply)
willie thorne in thorne again christian

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:05, Reply)
willie thorne in thorne of the dead

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:10, Reply)
the willie thorne-berrys

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:24, Reply)
Thorne on the fourth of july

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:00, Reply)
Thorne-y MILF Anal #6

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:52, Reply)
Ultra-hetero reply here

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:06, Reply)
Breasts, you know, like on a lady.
Phwoar! Eh, lads? And fannies, and bottoms and that.
I reckon Victorian smut mags had lithographs of shapely ankles in various stages of reveal.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:27, Reply)
What the butler saw
Other than a man putting his whole fist up young Edd, obv
And in a beeb premises too, disgusting. Savile cast a long shadow
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Alright Beefy

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:50, Reply)
I sliced open my index finger on one of the unnecessarily sharp knives that inhabit my kitchen.
Put a bit of a damper on the evening, that has.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:57, Reply)
Wrap all the blood in a dressing and pack it in ice, they might be able to reattach

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:06, Reply)
You cack handed gibbon

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:25, Reply)
^ this.
Me and knives are a terrible combination.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:47, Reply)
I filled my car with diesel and didn't have my wallet.
They were surprisingly cool about the whole thing. I just went and got my wallet, was gone a half hour.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:28, Reply)
They made you walk?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:42, Reply)
They've got your entire identity any way

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:45, Reply)
I guess so with the cameras, but i assumed I'd to sign a notice of intent or something.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:15, Reply)
should've siphoned it back out of the tank and gave it back to them

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:48, Reply)
It tasks really rank

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:52, Reply)
I've got a little pressure siphon valve for nothing in particular officer.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:17, Reply)
Is gay sex a sin?
Asking for a friend
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:28, Reply)
no
now drop your pants
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:29, Reply)
like what you see?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:41, Reply)
hell yeah!

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:44, Reply)
Whatever today's pope says

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:31, Reply)
today's pope, tomorrow's chip poper

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:42, Reply)
It depends

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:32, Reply)
on what?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:43, Reply)
Which way round they do it.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:00, Reply)
I'm afraid so.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:33, Reply)
It is the way *I* do it!
hahahahaha
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:35, Reply)
hahaha, nice one m8!!!

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:35, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:41, Reply)
pervert

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:40, Reply)
Well a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!
hahahahahaha
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:42, Reply)
I'm so going to bum you

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:45, Reply)
Tits first, I'm not a slag

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:51, Reply)
yeah, go to hell for it

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:35, Reply)
I bet they'd like that though dirty bastards

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:44, Reply)
they'd be forced to sex women for eternity

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:54, Reply)
Hang on, this gives me an idea...

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:59, Reply)
I don't remember it being on the ten commandments tablet
Or being featured in the movie 'Seven'

So Im going to say no.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:50, Reply)
Do I look like Neil Tennant to you?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:52, Reply)
no but it is 'ass in'!
does that work?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:03, Reply)
yes

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:04, Reply)
Yeah, it's quite good actually

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:05, Reply)
hang on I voted brexit so we didn't have to talk like americans any more

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:43, Reply)
Ass-king for a friend, more like

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:18, Reply)
Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Ever place I've ever been
Every where I'm going to
It's a sin
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:58, Reply)
Stick it up your bottom.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:02, Reply)
ok now what?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:04, Reply)
Take it out again, give it to the dog to sniff
His reaction will shock you!
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:08, Reply)
More like a SPIN, geddit????

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:20, Reply)
"No moaning" thread:
Why are you so happy?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:17, Reply)
the wheely bins were collected on time and put back tidily on the pavement

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:26, Reply)
I haven't put my bins out for months
brb hasn't been here to remind me :(
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:53, Reply)
I've got some nice new recipes from this cookery thing I was at on the weekend.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Never mind the recipes, did you get to meet a new "lady friend"?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:31, Reply)
such as?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:42, Reply)
snooker all week, party saturday
and the blanket i'm making for my niece will be finished by tomorrow morning
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:33, Reply)
Prozac in the water supply to mask the arsenic, at least we'll die with a smile on our faces, like in the only good Batman film

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Batman & Robin is a batmasterpiece.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:40, Reply)
It certainly resurrected the 60s high camp element, bit of a reaction to all the grim darkness, DC could probably do with a shot of that now

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:43, Reply)
They tried that with suicide squad

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:30, Reply)
Battyman and Robin, more like.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:43, Reply)
that was hilariously camp
but it left me wanting a necklace just like Nora Freeze's
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:48, Reply)
^ This
Big budget, all star cast, and Batman's suit had nipples, truly a masterpiece
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:02, Reply)
Because I've just discovered that we have another bank hol next week
It's my missus's birthday on the weekend and I've booked dinner at Georgio Locatelli's restaurant for a surprise on Saturday night.

Plus my dope new Adidas have arrived
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:42, Reply)
I'm waiting on an induction cooker and a copy of The Long Goodbye on Bluray.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:45, Reply)
Ever been tempted by some four stripe from down the market?
Probably just as comfy
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:45, Reply)
I'd quite like some red stripe.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:51, Reply)
'sadidas'

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Palindromic.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:22, Reply)
Leave Sarah's camel out of this

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:57, Reply)
BRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP BRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPO POP POP BANG BANG POP BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:45, Reply)
RIP you legend

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:56, Reply)
I did a really satisfying poo

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:10, Reply)
and I just finished another Lego video

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:11, Reply)
can't compete with that

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:12, Reply)
All boxes ticked?
Minimal wiping required
No splashback
Not painful
You now feel 1 stone lighter
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Actually I don't want to know

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
I had biryani for lunch every day last week and things went from their usual 'tipping an eel out of a wellie' to actually having to strain.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:20, Reply)
tipping an eel out of a wellie
why is that making me laugh so much?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Because we are purile

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:48, Reply)
TICKS ACROSS THE BOARD

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Nothing about a no nonsense flush?
You've either got good plumbing or a lack of fibre in your diet.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:45, Reply)
A good toilet

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:56, Reply)
Feargal Shzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Sharty more like!!!!!!!

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:03, Reply)
There's something odd with the one at work, it's the only lav I consistently leave looking like the starting line at Brands Hatch.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:41, Reply)
I have just received a cheque from the council for £500 (almost) for overpayment of council tax
And I am booking a holiday to the Dominican Republic. These things have cheered me up.

Also has anyone ever bought any 'shrooms off the dark web?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:15, Reply)
If you're going to risk the whole dark web/ postage deal
Why not get something you can't pick for free in 6 months or so?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:23, Reply)
You can't pick Hawaiian, Mexican or Thai mushrooms
Unless of course you're one of our Hawaiian, Mexican or Thai boarders...


I do love a good old You-Kayyyy mushroom, that said.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:47, Reply)
They're either psilocybes or aminitas though, aren't they?
With the former I can't tell the difference from the different varieties (admittedly I've only tried liberties, cyans and whatever you get in Thailand)

With the later I wouldn't trust anyone other than an expert.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:54, Reply)
I'm no expert tbh
I've always wanted to try those Blue Meanies from Australasia, heard good things about them
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Supposed to be amazing

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:02, Reply)
To answer your question no I've not
Glovington poster (RIP) had good success getting all manner of stuff there, but I'm well out of my depth when it comes to that kind of thing. I would love to get some acid and DMT
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:49, Reply)
and mushrooms
and some gourmet hashish
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:51, Reply)
My little brother grows them or has in the past and they have been superb.
But none for a while now.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:01, Reply)
You can get spore kits from the continent in the mail,, so I'm told

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:36, Reply)
dunno

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:17, Reply)
maybe you're not

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:27, Reply)
Oh, I'm definitely not
But that's not what he asked
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Think outside the box, 2H.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:24, Reply)
Ok
Now what?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:30, Reply)
What's it like out there?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:20, Reply)
i bought some stuff from a fella who just got 16m for handling stolen goods, my bits were not stolen goods, thanks fuck

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:45, Reply)
adidas.co.uk, extra 25% off today only using the voucher code FRIENDS

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:52, Reply)
cool, there was a pair i wanted, did they do a tie up with a skateborder?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:55, Reply)
Dennis Busenitz

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:02, Reply)
that's the fella, ta

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:12, Reply)
Thanks Richard!

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:58, Reply)
because I'm Jewish

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:59, Reply)
^Jewvial

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
I'm also not spanishfly which helps

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:02, Reply)
+maybe it's
+that I love Jewson builders merchants
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:05, Reply)
so true

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Because I have saved an extra 25% on goods from the Adidas website
So happy was I, that I emailed details to mcbeef.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:48, Reply)
I am in Brazil
AND I have had a poo.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:52, Reply)
what are the shit-pots like over there?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:02, Reply)
Well up to first world standard
the only difference is the toilet seats are soft, like a plastic cushion so never cold to sit on - which is odd in such a hot country.

Oh, one issue is that the sewars cannot cope with toilet paper so every loo has a bin for used bum-wipes. It is considered polite to scunch the used sheets so as not to leave skids on show for the next person lifting the lid of the trash can.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 21:56, Reply)
Alright dudes!
What's going in your neighbourhood that you'd like to whinge about? There's an open garden event on my road, which sounds like a good excuse to go and have a nose round some other people's houses, maybe Nick a stereo or something.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:25, Reply)
My neighbourhood is full of pricks, as you know from personal experience.
I'd like to whinge about the high level of pricks. The sort of pricks who go to the Cereal Killer Cafe and places like this:

www.allinlondon.co.uk/directory/1298/179728.php
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:28, Reply)
There was one prick in particular in your neighbourhood that I remember quite distinctly.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:29, Reply)
That was you, m8

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:46, Reply)
Might delete this thread

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
I've heard they've got cafe's in london now where you pay upfront to pet a cat.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
"ISIS are right" is the new "Hitler was right".
Hi there, GCHQ!
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:32, Reply)
^ just another prick in the wall

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
I've just been to the Cereal Killer Cafe's website and whoever designed it should not be allowed to play with computers any more.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
I have moaned about my neighbours on here before
and doing so just angers up my blood and reminds me of all the reasons why I dislike living here. So if you'll excuse me, I will not be participating in this thread. I will forever remain, TH x
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:31, Reply)
^triggered

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, Reply)
seem to be a lot of yoots about on mountain bikes lately, all over the roads and pavements, lucky the police have now started confiscating the bikes

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
Wont they just go steal some more from outside posh north London flat blocks?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, Reply)
i live in se lahndahn so no

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:02, Reply)
People who cycle on pavements shouldn't be allowed to die, let alone live.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Loads of that around where I work.
Some twat had the gall to tinkle her bell at me, rather than just go around me or, perish the thought, cycle on the empty road.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I've had that. It got my blood right up.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
If I wasn't so unfailingly polite, I'd have pushed her over.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
Member the good old days, when you could physically assault anyone whose behaviour didn't meet your personal standards
and if they went crying to the police they'd probably get a sound thrashing and told to man the fuck up, member
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:07, Reply)
A lack of parking, and an abundance of rubbish pubs.
These are perennial issues, though, and the parking issue likely isn't helped by the 4 cars that my household contributes to those parked on the road.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
You know what.
This is a shit idea for a thread
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, Reply)
I thought it was bad enough when me and TH were comparing ailments, but now you've opened it up for moany old sods with petty complaints about where people place their wheely bins

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:44, Reply)
I was supposed to go to the quacks this morning but the doctor threw a sickie so I'm going tomorrow now.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, Reply)
And then some.
Let's go back to talking about shoes.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, Reply)
First world problems, I'm concerned with how expensive nommy cadbury chocolate will be after poland won't give the recipe back, because brexit

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:24, Reply)
6 music are playing some dodgy radio edit of Leave Them All Behind rather than the 8-minute version.
Why bother?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:35, Reply)
Because god forbid you go 10 minutes without Lauren Laverne whittering on about nothing.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:40, Reply)
I don't mind her too much.
Nemone seems to select better tunes and talk fewer when she's covering for her though.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Far too often, I find myself switching off 6 Music as, despite the name, it has a level of chat that can rival Radio 4.
Found that someone has taken to publishing their playlists on Deezer, which is ideal.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, Reply)
I enjoyed Tom Ravenscroft sitting in for her, and his obvious disdain for the biorhythms stuff.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:58, Reply)
Yeah Ravenscroft is alright. He's more than happy to play records and do little more than say what they are every now and then.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:03, Reply)
I'd ask little else from a dj on a music station.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:11, Reply)
And yet Radcliffe and Maconi are like a Smashy and Nicey tribute act.
Member Pat 'The Darth Vader of the Master Fader' Sharp being hot stuff on Capital for being able to talk bollocks? 'member?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Fortunately not.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:19, Reply)
some students moved in next door
and they set their alarms for 6:00 and then hit snooze half a dozen times, and I can hear every sodding tone they've set on their fucking phones.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, Reply)
Pop round and have a word.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:41, Reply)
last time I grabbed a block of wood and a hammer
and pounded on the wall a few times. That shut them up.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:47, Reply)
Very passive aggressive.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I don't think there's anything passive about using a hammer m8

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:57, Reply)
Maybe not if you were bludgeoning someone with it.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:58, Reply)
Maybe you should punch one or two

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, Reply)
ask which one is the hardest and then punch him

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, Reply)
Sometimes I snooze my alarm for two hours. Don't bring it.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:43, Reply)
you are worse than hitler

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:05, Reply)
It's not my fault. It's societies fault for expecting me to get out of bed and go to work.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:10, Reply)
The houses on both sides of mine seem to be empty, by a stroke of fate.
What sort of people my neighbours will turn out to be might emerge in a month or so as soon as the builders have finished.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, Reply)
too many immigrants
in fact, the whole city has been made up of immigrants and the children of immigrants for my entire life
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:47, Reply)
My downstairs neighbour leaves her dogends on the doorstep but does tend to pick them up daily to be fair.
I'm not really that bothered by it but she could put them in a plant pot or something.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, Reply)
living in scotchland you should be grateful it's only dog ends and not syringes

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I didn't know the phrase 'dog ends' so I just thought you meant dog poos

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:32, Reply)
hardly anyone turns up to the neighbourhood watch meetings that I go to a lot of trouble to arrange

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:54, Reply)
Alright, Lynda Snell.
How's the llamas?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:57, Reply)
I have something for this.
mobile.twitter.com/Toadsanime/status/855760304285896704
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:11, Reply)
I hope there's a circle of hell, reserved for those who film with their phone in portrait.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Better than that is those who keep turning the phone between portrait and landscape, just to stop you enjoying the file after rotating 90 degrees in VLC

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
Looks like Rob's venturing into edgy satire again.
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/856827745891954689
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
what exactly has Teresa done to make everyone hate her?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:23, Reply)
Well for starters she's massively authoritarian, seems to despise civil liberties, doctors reports that goes against her own ideology, wants to dismantle the NHS and is completely unable to give a straight answer to any question.
Oh and she's tore countless families apart by fucking around with non-eu migration mostly to try and appear 'tough'.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:26, Reply)
^
Although, "she's a Tory" would have sufficed, for me.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:46, Reply)

pbs.twimg.com/media/C-Mypa8WAAA6zvz.jpg
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Well, that's my nightmare sorted for tonight.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:02, Reply)
Not had children
that seems to be sufficient for most
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
Well everyone seems to hate diane abbot for non-specific grounds that aren't totally about trying to cloak their own racism.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:29, Reply)
I dislike her because sending her kids to private school was an act of rank hypocrisy, and because she made some weird comment about black women being better mothers.
Most of all, though, I just find her voice to be really annoying.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:44, Reply)
you're just trying to cloak your own racism here

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:46, Reply)
I think you're right.
No black in the Union Jack, after all.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
tggi

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
is it a black cloak?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:03, Reply)
while you were out partying
I was cloaking my racism
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:04, Reply)
i think she is wonderful

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:35, Reply)
the video for smack my bitch up was considered by many to be misogynistic

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:39, Reply)
A proper gentleman allows his lady wife to inject first

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:43, Reply)
She's very popular down here in the workshop

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Included students in immigrant numbers
I mean, why not count fucking tourists as well? Who wants those cunts and their money and corresponding jobs and ecoomic benefits with the added bonus of their leaving after spending their lucre?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Aaaand she wants students to go back to their own countries after graduating and then to re-apply for work visas.
So much for fast-tracking the 'brightest and best'.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:03, Reply)
come off it
my English course was 90% foreigners (Chinese and Greek mostly). It's great that their cash subsidised my own tuition, but does the UK really need 200 more drama and literature graduates a year, from countries that don't even speak English?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:13, Reply)
Cos anecdotal evidence is the best argument.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:13, Reply)
Yes but now even if you've got a job lined up after graduation you can't use that to apply for a visa from within britain.
I was talking about proper subjects like engineering and that anyway.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:19, Reply)
They will have to go home after
but they are subsidising our own arts & humanities and social & historical sciences students. I know, yes, there are people who will raise concerns about how many archaeologists we need, but I am sick of this bollocks about protecting our culture and identity if we never fucking teach it to anyone. What are we expected to do? Just watch I Claudius over and over again? Jesus...
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:51, Reply)
some cunt's moaning that he's had his new garden parasol nicked
apart from that, not much
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:57, Reply)
Maybe you should give it back?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:03, Reply)
i don't go in the garden much
and have no need for a parasol
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, Reply)
Is he sure it's not just blown away?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:04, Reply)
that seems to be the general consensus
but he's convinced someone's had it off
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, Reply)
Well if he didn't want his parasol to not get nicked or blown away perhaps he should keep it in a shed when he's not sat under it.
They go all manky left out anyway.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:20, Reply)
he's a bit of a showoff

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:21, Reply)
Police are looking for a suspect described as invisible with a warm front
capable of gusts up to 40mph
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, Reply)
yep

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:09, Reply)
Mcbeef's had the Kevin Bacon treatment?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:15, Reply)
Tits

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:22, Reply)
Bazongas.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:47, Reply)
no thanks, already got some

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:58, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:27, Reply)
Orite Grrry

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:43, Reply)
wotchamate mupps
didn't know you were a vapist
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:45, Reply)
Filthy hipster vapist, been on it for a couple of years now
Although giving tips and advice to people getting on it make me look like the guy on the left
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:51, Reply)
Whatever will you all do when 'they' prove that it causes cancer more than fags

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:53, Reply)
Blaze it probably
Then go ingest some other carcinogen, theres loads to pick from
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:00, Reply)
I hear that the cool kids are all snorting phthalates

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, Reply)
cthulu is a dealer?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
Snap!'s less successful zzzzzzz...

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:17, Reply)
I've got a couple of 18650 cells I use for projects
vapists love talking about them, right?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:59, Reply)
Not to my knowledge, they're just the standard batteries for box mods
Although I'll say having bought several its amazing how prolific knock offs and rewrapped cells are online
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:05, Reply)
Morning.
Bike wasn't running rich, it was misfiring because the connection to the voltage regulator was loose. Also explains why the battery was dying.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:57, Reply)
that sounds like a really obvious fix

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, Reply)
Yeah,
I feel a bit daft for not checking. problem with reading plugs is a misfire looks almost identical to a rich mix.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:09, Reply)
I avoid this issue by not working on anything with shitty stoneage carburetted engines

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
Woah now.
Angry
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:20, Reply)
I had a carbed VW engine in my Audi
hateful piece of 8V shit
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:21, Reply)
Ah. I get it now.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:28, Reply)
Yeah, I was gonna say that.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:12, Reply)
ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:58, Reply)
you listen to Kanye now?
I've lost the last scrap of respect I had for you
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, Reply)
Well, i read today that grime artists support Jeremy Corbyn, so I'm going to start listening to grime

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
there is some good stuff out there

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:02, Reply)
of the little I've heard, some of them need to move their lyrics on from US hip hop tropes, but we're due a great album from one of them soon

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, Reply)
I like that Stormzy fella

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:36, Reply)
shut up

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:40, Reply)
He was on Radio 4, the other week, so I've heard of him.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:57, Reply)
I quite liked the early-2000's UK hip hop stuff.
Kid Acne, Braintax, Jehst and Klashnekoff were all quite good.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Task Force were great also

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:48, Reply)
Aye, good point. I've got a bootleg pressing of New Mic Order.
I think it was them that made me investigate everyone else come to think of it.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:55, Reply)
what about mercury award winning mr rascal eh

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)
mercury award schmercury award

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:51, Reply)
oooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
fix up look sharp
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I just looked up who he was up against
certainly none of the others deserved any prizes
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:21, Reply)
Based on the shortlists shown in Wikipedia,
it looks like 2005 was the last time I paid any attention to music.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:30, Reply)
it's all just noise anyway
there's nary a tune you can whistle to
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, Reply)
wow, an award shared by the likes of M People and Gomez
what an honour
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:59, Reply)
that gomez album was great

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:12, Reply)
I didn't like his funny voice

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:19, Reply)
The Mercury award strikes me as something of a musical kiss of death.
Or maybe it's just that the nominees are thrust into the spotlight, then sink back into the obscurity from whence they came, once it's all over.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:21, Reply)
i've always listened to kanye

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Morning.
The sun is shining and the birds are singing and all that l33t sort of stuff is happening.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:16, Reply)
I walked a mile and a half
then cycled a mile and a half
and now I'm sitting at a desk in front of multiple monitors with the blinds down trying to pretend that Outside doesn't exist.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:21, Reply)
Sounds bizarrely similar to my morning so far.
With less walking and more cycling, but still. The birdsong has been replaced by the sound of the ceiling fan.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:25, Reply)
I've done 50min brisk walking so far today
Another 40min at lunch and 25 after work. I am determined to keep this up as long as possible, I do feel better for it
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:41, Reply)
no wonder you own so many shoes

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:46, Reply)
Got some new ones turning up today as it goes
But I did bin two pairs on the weekend so I'm allowed.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:52, Reply)
prolly gonna get some puma mid gtx in blue suede next month
tempted by Reebok classic SL flips as well, but only in black
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:56, Reply)
I can't stand black sneakers for some reason
I think they just seem too 'football boot' to me
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:28, Reply)
They also make you look like a chav/ned/wannabe gangsta 13 year old.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:30, Reply)
yer, I get that
things like the adidas team court want to be Back to the Future, but they just look chavvy
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:32, Reply)
I don't usually go for black trainers either but I'm disastrous with pure white trainers.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:38, Reply)
Is it the navy on light blue pumas you want?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:38, Reply)

allegro.pl/sniegowce-puma-suede-mid-gtx-men-rozmiar-44-i6785727402.html
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:47, Reply)
They look alright actually

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:07, Reply)
yeah, I think it was you who put me on to Pumas, so thanks for that
I also like these, and you can get them in non-black as well
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:27, Reply)
lol, "buty"

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:31, Reply)
My journey to work is about 2.3 miles or something. I've sacked off trainers and dress shoes and just wear boots these days.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:58, Reply)

a u
trainers and dress shoes and just wear boots these days 15 massive darkies already today
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:28, Reply)
that's 270 yards per willy

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:38, Reply)
Good stuff.
At least 30 minutes a day of *anything* physical helps.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:48, Reply)
Obvious strikethrough zzzzz

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:03, Reply)
It's not that I'm not happy for you, Rich,
but you do realise that "putting one foot in front of the other" is a skill that most of us mastered in early childhood, right?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:08, Reply)
*spastic clap*

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:37, Reply)
*emvee insulting your child*

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:56, Reply)
hahaha that takes me back

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:21, Reply)
'caustic slap'

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:42, Reply)
I drove to work and am now sitting on my arse with my back to the outside
yet I still don't need some silly fat girls' diet
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
it's not a fat girls diet
it's a beasting in the pit, well dench diet, which is a hundred times worse. Still, I've lost half a stone so far.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:48, Reply)
^ gym bunny

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:05, Reply)
remember: celery = negative calories
stay strong hun xx
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:08, Reply)
fibre offsets carbs, so Imma chomp that shit right up

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Tell me more about these silly fat girls, pls

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
they'll do owt for a bit of chocolate cake

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Low self-esteem in the streets, beast in the sheets

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
It's not all about you, Two Hats.

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
w

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:58, Reply)
o

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:02, Reply)
r

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:04, Reply)
m

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:07, Reply)
considering you're all bent
one can only presume this worm has turned
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:09, Reply)
y

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:09, Reply)
mid-morning

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:41, Reply)
how you living, tang?

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, Reply)
hanging on by a thread
how are your guts?
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Sorry to hear that
Day four (today) is normally when I start feeling better, so I'm holding on to that.
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:47, Reply)
gonna climb inside a big machine tomorrow

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Wow
Well good luck x
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
"Deh Foor in Two Hat's Guts, and the new inhabitants are finally settlin' in"
Diverticulitis goes to the diary room"
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:31, Reply)

y rhoea
(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:50, Reply)
woofer morning m8

(, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
Any of you hipster cunts smoke a electronic cigarette?
I started about 6 weeks ago. Doing he trick.

Any recommendations on the best oils?

Ta in advance.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:39, Reply)
started, as in, instead of normal cigs?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:42, Reply)
Yes I might be a kiddy fiddler
But I am not a fucking monster!
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:45, Reply)
well you never know these days do you

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:53, Reply)
This is true.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:06, Reply)
Snake.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:53, Reply)
What have I ever done to you?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:06, Reply)
SNAAAAAAKE!
/Col. Campbell
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:10, Reply)
Castrol GTX

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:01, Reply)
no. and not hipster. cunt, perhaps.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:13, Reply)
I can recommend nectarine with a drop of JUSTSTOPFUCKINGSMOKINGALREADYFORGOODNESSSAKES

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:19, Reply)
What kind of ecig do you have? The weaker stick ones work best with thicker juices
Whereas the box types (with removeable batteries and the like) are a bit more powerful and work better with the thinner (high VG) juices.

This place is a good site for juices, there's a ton of choice and for the most part it's decent stuff, and the search refinement lets you narrow down particular flavour types, strengths, etc.

This site is alright too, they have a different juice on offer each week so you can give it a shot without spending too much or buy a lot if you like a flavour.

*awaits inevitable flaming*
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:40, Reply)
I dunnup whom

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 23:01, Reply)
Nerd alert
I just grabbed an Atari 130XE out of the bin hut in my apartment block. Still plastic wrapped, in its box, with the original price tag and cables and shit. Polish ebay says its worth about 100 quid.

What have you skanked for free like some unscrupulous bin-diving capitalist pigdog?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:46, Reply)
At my old flat in Bethnal Green, people used to leave stuff out at the foot of the stairs for a few days before binning them in case anyone wanted them
Over the 13 years I was there I acquired a couple of sofas, four chairs, a load of books, three acoustic guitars...all manner of stuff. I was so fucking broke it was a godsend.

No need for all that now thank fuck.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Yer, our communal bins are like that
Warsaw's big on recycling so it's actually illegal to throw it away; you have to take it to one of the dropoff points. People would rather "donate" it than go through the hassle, and I'm like a bin-archaeologist.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:59, Reply)
BINdiana Jones!!!!
Raiders of the Lost Skip
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:15, Reply)
BINdiana Jones and the Temple of Recycling

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:16, Reply)
BINdiana Jones and the Last Collection Date Before Christmas

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:17, Reply)
:'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D :'-D

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:18, Reply)
You missed the best one
Bindiana Jones and the kingdom of the herring gull
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 23:11, Reply)
They used to do that in the street at my last gaff as it was one long road of tenements.
On my way to the chipper I saw a pair of Mission bookshelf speakers and decided to get them on the way back. Guess what disappeared in the 3 minutes it takes to get a battered sausage and chips?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:26, Reply)
Maddie?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:50, Reply)
When did mission make bookshelf speakers? I've been out of the hi-fi game for over 12 years

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:08, Reply)
the hearts and minds of a nation

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Are you Theresa May?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:28, Reply)
About 3000 copies of Windows XP. Which made a pretty penny.
Multiple laptops. An old Toshiba Satellite that still works to this day running Windows 3.11
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:58, Reply)
I pick up any money I find, money is money in my book which is probably a bit miserly
/ac
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:56, Reply)
THE MONEY BOOK

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Khaching

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:20, Reply)
Took a whole copper cylinder from outside a house being renovated.
Probably upset that plumber a bit. Scrap wasn't even that much.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:05, Reply)
A brass microscope, a 1/3 size replica human skull and various other stuff when I worked as a school lab tech.
A denim jacket when I worked at Cardiff Airport.
I don't know if any of that counts though, the school stuff I took before it actually got skipped and the jacket had been left in the locker I was assigned.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:13, Reply)
shit yeah that's a bloody good find,
you gonna start writing demos?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:13, Reply)
whenever i see a discarded CRT
i go through it and pull out all the ferrites
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Be careful of the teeth

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:19, Reply)
i said CRT not shark

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:21, Reply)
Poor spacefish

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:19, Reply)
oi he benefits from the common mode noise suppression just as much as i do

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:32, Reply)
I can't believe he calls you that, he's a good fella

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:41, Reply)
A complete, new set of Teflon pans;
a black leather satchel bag in perfect condition that became my laptop bag for the next five years; and an exercise bike that just needed a new battery for it to work fine. I did get a boatload of Tupperware boxes for free from my ex's uncle, who works in the transport business and said the client 'forgot about them', but he's a bit of a Del Boy so I'm not sure that counts.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:43, Reply)
why does an exercise bike need a battery

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:49, Reply)
For the display, innit.
So you can see how far you've gone, how many calories you've burned, what your heart rate is, etc.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:54, Reply)
mate just put a dynamo on it

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:54, Reply)
But how would you know where you've been

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:01, Reply)
take photos

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:07, Reply)
I never did, and i will not start now

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:13, Reply)
The room I stayed in over the weekend had a round bed, a mirror on the ceiling
and a huge mirror to the side. I could not stop humming Hotel California each night as I fell asleep.

Have you ever felt like you are in a porn film for the wrong reasons?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:38, Reply)
Only once
That time when I got bummed half to death by 15 gigantic darkies
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:41, Reply)
you seem like the sort of person who might have an opinion on Five Guys

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
"10/10 - would be bummed again."

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:52, Reply)
basic burgers, very greasy
Overpriced.
Only thing that tempts people is to have ALL THE TOPPINGS

The Nandos of Burgers.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:10, Reply)
yeah that's what i thought,
we went there on Friday after we got off the train in King's Cross, Ģ9.50 for a bacon cheeseburger and that didn't even include chips, i was thinking it better be a bloody good burger. Nope. It was fucking shit.

It's basically Burger King for hipsters with more money than sense. The place was full of dudes in suits that were a bit too small. Actually Burger King is better. They even fucked the drink up. I tried to get a Sprite out of the machine and it came out slightly brown and coke-tasting. The "bacon" was like fish food and the "cheese" was some weird non-Newtonian substance that melted as it cooled down.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:07, Reply)
also the surprise options for the fries were "salty" and "spicy"
so i said spicy cos i don't really like salt and it turned out the choice was actually between "salty" and "salty and spicy". I felt like i'd just eaten a bucket of salt for the rest of the day.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:12, Reply)
1*
excessive seepage
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:13, Reply)
Is this about someone's nan?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:20, Reply)
After 5 Guys

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:27, Reply)
never had one I'm afraid

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:06, Reply)
they have a silly name

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Only once, that time I went to fix a cooker and got bummed half to death by 15 women with gigantic dildo

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:44, Reply)
dildae

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:47, Reply)
Dildæ

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
\o/

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)

👍
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:52, Reply)
When I was a building labourer
My team was renovating a block of flats, and while I was sanding down a windowsill I caught the eye of a buxom woman in a lower flat across the courtyard doing the washing up, and she caught my eye and winked and carried on soaping up those dishes with her boobs jiggling and my willy got a bit hard.

Then one of carpenters caught me staring and did the whole "phwoar eh cor, phwoar don't get many of them to the etc do ya now", and as I laughed embarrasedly at his working class patoir he suddenly switched to a stone cold voice and said "don't bother mate I fucked her last weekend, cunt like a windsock" and walked off.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:46, Reply)
Godby

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:47, Reply)
builders at a teabreak? it's like the International Godby Champtionships

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
I was told by one of the roofers that if I wanted, I could fuck his wife.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Did she get a say in the matter?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:53, Reply)
You know, I never followed up on it.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
"mmmmnnnnffff", probably

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:00, Reply)
I inadvertently bought some polkski beer with honey in it.
I'm not saying it was horrible, but it did catch me off-guard.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Which one?
I don't mind the occasional honey beer, but it has to be a dark beer otherwise its just sweet lager.

If it was the orange Lomza one, that's pretty rank.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Perla I think.
It was more that i wasn't expecting it. I hadn't really noticed the 🍯 on there until I'd had a mouthful of it.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:59, Reply)

it's like the International
Champtionships Power
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Yes!

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:30, Reply)
When I temped on the weighbridge one of the lorry drivers asked me 'know a good place for some cunt?'
Then when asked where said 'on the end of ya dick' then merrily hopped in his wagon and drove off.

Another one showed me the fattest jazz-mag centrefold I've ever seen. He was driving someone else's lorry and showed it me and said 'thats fucking disgusting'. I didn't even know it was possible to drive a lorry off in disgust, but it is.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:49, Reply)
RIP QOTW

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:53, Reply)
These actually happened.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:56, Reply)
They're on the internet, now,
so they must be lies.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Reply)
I'd say 'Take it over to QOTW' but, well, you know.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Talbot-Ponsonby has an arse like a windsock.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:25, Reply)
no

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:46, Reply)
not sure

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:48, Reply)
I would never do porn for the wrong reasons

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:48, Reply)
don't do it for you
do it to support your family
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
you mean do i feel like i'm being constantly exploited?
yes
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
sexually and mentally

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Sexentally? Mentexually?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:55, Reply)
yes

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:57, Reply)
Cool.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:58, Reply)
Is it any more exploitation than having to work as a waiter and deal with cunt customers all day?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:03, Reply)
having never done either, yes

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:08, Reply)
you're such an old stick-in-the-mud

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:11, Reply)
It's NOT exploitation Grrry, it's EMPOWERMENT.
Now, get that Fench Maid outfit on, we haven't got all day, and you've got three more bukakke scenes to do before the double anal finale.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:08, Reply)
ok, ok
but I want to note that I'm doing this because it's MY choice, not yours
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:18, Reply)
A Serbian director optioned my memoirs.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
yes, but it all worked out ok because my washing machine actually got repaired

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:07, Reply)
and you do a good job at bleaching your anus

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:12, Reply)

bl r
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:14, Reply)
I think its previous dark colour was putting some people off

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:27, Reply)
It was a problem
telling how many dark penises were it in at a time.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Were it in at a led it off the road?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:34, Reply)
I hope so

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:35, Reply)
Always with the sex aren't you, sex this, sex that , sex the other

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:33, Reply)
and it's all on a family forum

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:35, Reply)
I think they should make it over 18 now

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I'm all for this and that,
but I don't care much for the other.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:38, Reply)
Everyone needs a hobby

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Nah, just for the right reasons.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Reply)
it's the best way I know to fund my crack habit

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:10, Reply)
I've got to keep team spiders in curds and whey somehow.
And those pebbles for my penguin harem don't come cheap either.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:14, Reply)
not so easy to steal them from little girls sitting on tuffets any more

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:24, Reply)
a workman did once pop in whilst i was undressed

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:26, Reply)
fnar fnar 'pop in'
:D
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:32, Reply)
nothing like that
he just came to give my damaged socket a good seeing-to
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:33, Reply)
Gneee.
:D
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:46, Reply)
he gave it a right good poke with his phillips head

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:49, Reply)
Squarf.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:50, Reply)
the housing was bent, so he whacked in a new box, too

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I like it when they finish off
with a fat line of builderīs caulk on your facia board
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:24, Reply)
i like it when you get a polite one
who leaves it as tidy as he found it
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:35, Reply)


           _
........./\_\
......../././_
......././_/\.\
......_\.\/..\.\
...../\.\../\.\_\
.....\.\/..\.\/_/
......\../\.\_\
.......\/_/././
........./././
.........\/_/

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:29, Reply)
^ deadly little Miho

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:38, Reply)
IT'S A SYMBOL OF PEACE, HACKSHULLY

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Yeah, my boy drew one on the back of his hand, and went for the "it's a symbol of peace" defence.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:56, Reply)
I've had the "but dick is a boy's name!" defence
children are horrible, aren't they
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:00, Reply)
Secretary for our local Scouts is named Dick.
Surname "Short", which caused the boy no end of merriment when flicking through the AGM minutes.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:09, Reply)


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(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:40, Reply)
show off

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:41, Reply)
wanna cyber?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:43, Reply)
obvs

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:47, Reply)


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(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:50, Reply)
i think we have a winner here

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:51, Reply)
YES

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(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:52, Reply)
that's basically what i'm knitting

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:58, Reply)
Bloop?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:13, Reply)
not quite
splatoon squid for my niece, should be finished by wednesday, then i've got to do the joker
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:16, Reply)
Love it!
Splatoon is a right laugh.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:20, Reply)
never played it
but it's only a few colours and it'll fit her bed, so i said i'd do it
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:28, Reply)
lol, I love Fawlty Towers!

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:12, Reply)
Hullo chum's, Richard here.
How's this week shaping up for ya? I'm off to bank my inheritance cheque this morning which is nice. Other than that it's hopefully going to be a pretty quiet week - not to be an ingrate but I am rather looking forward to my inlaws buggering off later in the week. Missus's birthday on Friday.

How r u lol
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:13, Reply)

rather really
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:14, Reply)
holding a candlelight vigil for TimChuma

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I'm alright mate.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:17, Reply)
thanks for acknowledging my rat joke m8
means a lot
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:22, Reply)
it's what we do here
we're one big family
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:24, Reply)

fami wil
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
I suppose if you guys join your willies together
you'd have one normal-sized willy to share
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:33, Reply)
we're like a kind of penile Voltron

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:57, Reply)

Voltron Captain Planet
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:00, Reply)
I'm due an inheritance some time this year too
in a story that reads like a monopoly "Chance" card, my grandmother's childless cousin carked it and left his multi-million estate to my grandmother's kids, of which my Dad is one and he's decided to shunt his share down a generation.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Nice

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
yer
I don't like taking money from my Dad but this time around fuck it, he didn't earn it, he's got enough already, I need more passports.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:32, Reply)
i haven't had any inheritance for ages, i must be due some

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:52, Reply)

off
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:25, Reply)
Busy, as per.
You can all rest easy, knowing that your taxes are working hard.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Good. Went on a curry cookery course and cooked some nice stuff that I'll be doing again in the future.
Key learning: there's an extra R in tuRmeric I was unaware of.

P. S. Gonna have dal raita for breakfast I reckon.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
One of my pet hates is people who pronounce it 'tumour-ic'
It drives me irrationally mad
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:32, Reply)
i just call it "yellow"

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:33, Reply)
When I read your posts, MGT, I imagine them being spoken by BMO from Adventure Time
And please know that I mean no offence by this
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:39, Reply)
absolutely none taken

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:40, Reply)
Yesterday I forgot the word apron
I had to point at it, and say "this thing"
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:33, Reply)
"pinny"

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
Honestly, my brain is really in and out at the moment
Not as bad as when I got that insect bite, and kept forgetting where I was, but still.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I had a student that called it "pron"
cos 'the' and 'a' don't exist in Polish, and she thought that the statement "this is my apron" had a grammar mistake in it.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
oh

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
I don't think I've ever wore an apron in my own kitchen.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I object to changing halfway through the day because I have flour all over me

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
yeah yeah Mr Montana, "flour"

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:38, Reply)
If I'm cooking the chances of me going out and seeing anyone who would think less of me for being covered in flour are slim.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:38, Reply)
But then the rest of my house would get flour on it
I don't want to spread flour everywhere. FLOUR.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:40, Reply)
If you make your own pasta or bread it's essential

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:55, Reply)
have you got a sausage apron?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:06, Reply)
No, I'm just pleased to see you

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:09, Reply)


(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:11, Reply)
sorry, it's just that no-one's ever said that to me before

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:12, Reply)
^ this with fucking bells on

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
bells?
is it this apron?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
why has she got Pete's Dragon's willy on her head?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:59, Reply)
What's that thing you...dig food with?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
and that place where our couch and tv are

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:37, Reply)
argh, the fact that both these quotes are slightly off is filling me with nerd rage

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
I was doing that, because I didn't know about the extra R.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
I call it "shit-fuck-cunt-powder"

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:44, Reply)
That is ketamine

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:35, Reply)
alright,
been away for the weekend, it was good.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:32, Reply)
where'd ya go?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:32, Reply)
Epping-Ongar diesel gala

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:33, Reply)
+ oo ee oo ah ah ting tang

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:35, Reply)
a bit like that, yeah

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:37, Reply)
everybody talk about, pop music

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:46, Reply)
diesels in a half shell

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:07, Reply)
I've had better Mondays, Richard.
Not helped by the sort of dizzying inertia that sets in when you know you have to change careers but you don't know what else you want to do. Not only is my current pay crap, my bosses treat me like a trainee or something: they've just spent ten days in Brazil for a wedding, and when I asked them if it went well, they just said "Yeah." Then they called their clients and service providers and yakked on for 20 minutes about what a great holiday they had.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:36, Reply)
did you not read any of the advice you were given earlier?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Hahaha.
This is where I get called a milquetoast for not wanting to end up with a nice framed P45 in my hands.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:46, Reply)
yet you want to leave that job and you admit you need a kick up the arse doing so
So there's no downside to complaining to your managers about your unreasonable workload.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I also really want toast now
I've not had bread for three weeks.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
I'm writing to the local chamber of commerce and industry at the moment.
They should be able to put me on the right path to getting in touch with international companies who need language people.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:54, Reply)
I think I have pneumonia again Richie Rich. I am hoping I don't.
I don't think my poor nan had any money to leave to anyone.

Although I have had work confirm that I can have the first two weeks in July off and the first week in August off.

So that's nice. Now I need to find a holiday for ten days or two weeks for myself and then big family holiday at the beginning of august.

Any suggestions?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:12, Reply)
considering your current state
Ten days sitting in a wheelchair on Bournemouth seafront is all your body can probably take.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Fuck I am hoping come July I will be in much better health.
But then again I have never been to Bournemouth.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:18, Reply)
Will you be able to take your son?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
On the family holiday he is coming with me.
I could do one week away with him in July and then one week on my own. That would be ideal.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:23, Reply)
Seaside?
Pembrokeshire is lovely.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:32, Reply)
lol u r wel fit
lol
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
I no lol

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:33, Reply)
not great, man
just realised that due to a fuck up on my part, i'm only going to get paid for 3 weeks of work in my next paycheck. can i have your inheritance please?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:28, Reply)
the only inheritance I can give you is love

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:30, Reply)
oh man, how come?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:30, Reply)
where i was in on my own, running around trying to run the department i've only worked in for a few months, i missed a deadline to submit my timesheet
then it was the bank holiday weekend and by the time i was back in on tuesday, it was too late. i'm pretty annoyed with myself
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:40, Reply)
ah shit
well, lesson learned
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:47, Reply)
indeed
i was on track to get a switch as well. now i'll have to use those savings
*double thumbs up*
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:57, Reply)
Ah, that's crap, that is.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
sure

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:33, Reply)
thx ma8

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:40, Reply)
morning
shaved into an aesthetically pleasing style for garidead
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:31, Reply)
No point greeting gari - no doubt he's been kidnapped, already.
Morning, all.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:37, Reply)
I feel sad for the kidnappers
since no-one will care enough to pay the ransom
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:51, Reply)
maybe they enjoy cutting bits off people

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:56, Reply)
I find more fun sewing them back together again

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
although it's a murder finding those little white stickers that you used to put around hole-punched paper
since Woolworths closed. They're great for stopping the flesh from tearing when you tighten the threads.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
Use sail eyelets, much sturdier.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:45, Reply)
I live 400km from the coast, in the middle of Europe's largest plain
they're not exactly easy to get here
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Hi

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:46, Reply)
wotcha

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:51, Reply)
Good weekend?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:29, Reply)
not bad
filmed another lego project, saw some family, lost some weight. You got that bike running yet?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:31, Reply)
Not quite .
Did an oil change on Sat, cleaned and reset the carb and took it out. Ran like a dream. Went out again on Sunday and it ran fine for an hour and then just started missing and stalling and wouldn't idle, even pinking a little. Pulled the plug and it's black and sooty, so it's running way too rich and probably a bit hot.

I think it's partly my fault, I keep forgetting you can't just cruise to a stop with the throttle closed as it won't get enough air. Probably need to pull the exhaust and get all the carbon deposits as well, I know it's not such a big deal with modern petrol, but it won't hurt.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Oil change? I thought it was a two-stroke.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:03, Reply)
Wet clutch. Gear oil

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:07, Reply)
gay sex

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:10, Reply)
Leather and a big helmet

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:13, Reply)
phwoar

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:12, Reply)
Turtle Power!

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:46, Reply)

i.imgur.com/rFnqQFd.jpg
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:30, Reply)
you wouldn't harm a fly

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:40, Reply)
Hi everyon'e

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:32, Reply)
he'il

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:40, Reply)
I read this in the voice of Stiletto from Danger Mouse.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:45, Reply)
wooooooooo

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:49, Reply)

w p
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:50, Reply)
don't put words into my mouth, m8
words poo
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:52, Reply)
don't mess yourself

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:03, Reply)
I'll try :(

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:04, Reply)
Sorry you didn't survive the weekend, Mr Hats.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:52, Reply)
it's the tablets, Ems
they make me go sideways
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, Reply)
^ ain't drinking no fucking Merlot

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:56, Reply)
uh huh

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Alright Spanishfly

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:34, Reply)
ghostly woo or flaming bender woo?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, Reply)
More like a dizzy, spinny woo

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:54, Reply)
Tommy Roe or Vic Reeves?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:55, Reply)
yer

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:55, Reply)
Mike Melvoin and the Deadbeats

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:01, Reply)
The Ventures
ffs how many times?
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:26, Reply)
no way am I doing five days this week
I've got too used to a four day week now
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:49, Reply)
you get back to work before I beat you

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:50, Reply)
well ok, but I'm not coming in on Wednesday

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:57, Reply)
Take next Monday off.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:51, Reply)
that's not this week

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:58, Reply)
I'e got next mon and weds off
but not tuesday
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8067742
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
You'll have to wait until Harry gets married
we'll have another couple of short weeks
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:09, Reply)
Corbyn says we'll get a bank holiday every week if he gets elected

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:35, Reply)
I'm aff today. Get it wrapped right round you.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:19, Reply)
Yarss, back in the office to get chewed out for not doing three people's jobs properly.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
don't be passive aggressive m8
if they try and bollock you, say clearly that they'll get three people's work when they pay three people's salary, and until then they should accept that some work will be delayed.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:20, Reply)
They seem to have more or less got their heads around that concept, but it's not stopping them bitching and moaning.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:29, Reply)
Just be really shit at everything they ask you to do.
Eventually they will stop asking you to do it.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:35, Reply)
They will also stop paying me.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:40, Reply)

i.imgur.com/k4BE1xv.jpg
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:46, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
tell them to shut the fuck up unless they want to do the work of four people

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:37, Reply)
The thing is that they can't do my job and I can't do theirs.
Of course, they got me to do their jobs anyway when they fucked off on holiday for a fortnight.
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:47, Reply)
Go to HR and tell them that your boss asked to touch your willy
you're welcome
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:40, Reply)
^this

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Just start crying and say that you've been trying your hardest but it's just that you're going through some personal stuff right now

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:42, Reply)
^not this

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Don't get me wrong, it's very much a last resort

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, Reply)
Ask which one of them is the hardest, and punch the first one who speaks
then ask who's the second hardest
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:43, Reply)
classic Douglas Hurd technique

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
that man was fucking nails

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, Reply)
tell them you've been confused about your gender identity and are thinking of undergoing reassignment

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
"I've tucked it in today, but tomorrow is going to be a different kettle of fish."

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, Reply)
Ask them if this is a race thing

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, Reply)
They'd just say "Yeah, the RAT RACE" and give each other high-fives.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:53, Reply)

the
RACE FANS
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:59, Reply)
:)

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 11:09, Reply)
insist that all the work has been done and that if they can't see that it's their problem not yours

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
just light up a cigarette at your desk and stare them out without saying a word

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:51, Reply)
get your willy out and see where that goes

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:52, Reply)
Second willy reference so far in this thread; good job we're deciding by consensus.

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:56, Reply)
Take a shit in the wastepaper bin without breaking eye contact

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
add noises if you wish
that ramps up the intensity
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:55, Reply)
In business, it's known as 'power-grunting'

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:57, Reply)
How to succeed in business, for howler monkeys

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:58, Reply)
Aga do do do push pineapple up your bum

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:58, Reply)
jesus

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:59, Reply)
aight

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:00, Reply)
what time do you call this?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
mid morning i suppose, although i don't tend to classify it

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Pre-morning hello an´ tha
Brazil is nice and warm. I am enjoying the beer and food but am a bit out of sync so please write something witty and welcoming on my behalf for the next few morning threads.

Ciao
(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 3:01, Reply)
Why the fuck have you gone to that shit hole?

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Because

(, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 12:32, Reply)
He'

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 17:54, Reply)
hello there

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 17:54, Reply)
Yo

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:06, Reply)
alright richARD

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:04, Reply)
Sup nig

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:07, Reply)
nutin blood, s'all good in the hood

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:16, Reply)
I think I have pneumonia again. Is that Fucking Possible?
I have been really good lately as well
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:47, Reply)
No fly don't worry.
Thanks guys.
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:28, Reply)
Lol needy beaker

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:31, Reply)
Spanishfly interferes with children

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:31, Reply)
Relapse The LOVELY Span Eff.
*Applies Magic Internet Duvet of Comforting, Antibiotics and Span Effdering+1*
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:54, Reply)
I've just been to see 'Life', with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Walked out after not even an hour because it was shit.
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 18:48, Reply)
Don't worry Guardians 2 is out next week.

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:11, Reply)
I know; I've already got my ticket for the avant-première on Tuesday.

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:16, Reply)
You want to watch Get Out

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:25, Reply)
Yeah, that's definitely on my 'to watch' list.
It's taking a bizarrely long time to come out over here, for whatever reason.
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 19:52, Reply)
Why so bad?

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 21:02, Reply)
hola

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:05, Reply)
i hope you've all been playing Shunty Train by the way
www.b3ta.com/links/Shunty_Train
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:43, Reply)
I was up in Edinburgh earlier, seen a load of druids up at that Calton Hill practicing for next weekend.

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:58, Reply)
ah,
we've been down in That London
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 21:31, Reply)
Alright.

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:13, Reply)
Ye

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:26, Reply)
'Ning The LVELY Beefy!
'Ning The LOVELY /talk!
I have made the mrs watch The Butcher Of Prague with me.
*Prouds*
(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 20:59, Reply)
Yo

(, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 21:02, Reply)

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