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It's nearly the end of the working day.
I'm going to be letting a smug estate agent wanker in to my house shortly after I get home. The urge to bludgeon him to death will be hard to resist.
What have you got planned for this lovely crisp cold Monday evening?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:49, Reply)
eat some crisps, have a wank, watch old panel shows on dave
y'know, the usual
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:51, Reply)
Living the dream.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:53, Reply)
Salt'n'vinegar seasoning down the jap's eye, sounds like an unpleasant outcome.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:00, Reply)
steve backshall experiences natives coming of age ceremony

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:19, Reply)
first gland, so to speak

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:19, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 18:23, Reply)
Trying to find my friends new house
Even though typing their postcode into Google Maps, Bing, etc displays a large blank area with no roads. Hmm.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:51, Reply)
If they're the wort of people that buy in to new build estates you're probably better off not going.
#snob
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:53, Reply)
Those places are weird. It seems that some people /want/ to live the identical middle-class life with identical houses and identical cars and everyone is beige and the same.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:01, Reply)
Or it's because the homes are affordable.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:04, Reply)
ur face is affordable, m8

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:07, Reply)
You wish.
Or, y'know, some sort of much wittier comeback.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:13, Reply)
Well aye, but some people seem to unquestioningly grab middle-class tedium with both hands.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:08, Reply)
I suppose so.
I've always preferred property with a bit of character, which probably makes me even more middle class.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:12, Reply)
I just think the character-less identical of all of them is massively depressing.
All slaves to this bollocks way of living, but nobody will admit it's bollocks as the lie is less depressing than the truth or something, dunno I'm starting to feel I'm out on a limb.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:13, Reply)
No, I agree with you,
but I also think that people have a need to own their own home, and I doubt these awful estates are necessarily a first choice.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:22, Reply)
Some utter cunt signed off on a whole town of that shit right next to Stonehenge.
Fucking shitcunt wankers. Amesbury? GAYmesbury *I* call it!
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:30, Reply)
^Classic NIMSHYISM^

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:35, Reply)
^ upset
Bulldoze the stone circle and replace it with a play park, I say.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:39, Reply)
Fucking lefteye, I didn't vote to take are country back just so you could sell off Buck House and turn it into a Premier Inn full of homeless Bulgarian rapists

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:46, Reply)
As soon as we house them in Buck House, they'll cease to be homeless, and then we'll be forced to deport them.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:54, Reply)
First time buyers innit
They haven't built up a resistance yet
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:16, Reply)

They haven't built up a resistance yet mortgage power
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:39, Reply)
Didn't have anything planned but now this thread has got me thinking about crisps so probably that.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:56, Reply)
Burping up the chow mein that I reheated for lunch.
There was loads of it, it was a couple of days old, and now I feel sick.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:02, Reply)
I've got some chicken thighs that I didn't cover very well in the fridge that have been there a couple of days and they don't smell proper off, but the fridge smells a bit guffy so I don't reckon I'll risk it. Shame really.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:07, Reply)
I hate to waste food, but I think you've made the right decision.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:11, Reply)
Yeah, and me. Seems not worth risking it when I can buy a new pack for about £2

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:12, Reply)
Sounds like a nice evening.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:14, Reply)
this and that, you know
why?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:03, Reply)
Just making small talk to pass the time.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:14, Reply)
I shall be munching on sausage casserole.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:04, Reply)
disgusting

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:06, Reply)
Homophobe.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:34, Reply)
I'm just going to spend the whole evening watching this on a loop
twitter.com/PaulyPutz/status/805806192593436672
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:04, Reply)
Sometimes it's good to be reminded why I dislike him so much.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:08, Reply)
Those glasses are proof that there's a fine line between hipster and psychopathic nonce.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:10, Reply)
Or 'uncle who hasn't seen an optician since 1983 but claims he can still see fine'.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:11, Reply)
Haha, aw
I don't hate him, I just want to get that out there.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:13, Reply)
I met him. He was alright.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:14, Reply)
I've met him several times, he's a lovely chap
I went round his gaff for dinner once and was fed really nice burgers. The end.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:29, Reply)
I'm sure he's a delight
And boy does he love his dog
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:40, Reply)
I don't know anyone on here in real life.
Reckon that's best for all concerned, really.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:40, Reply)
Sounds like he's pretty generous for a Jew
Did he serve Pringles for dessert?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:46, Reply)
Yes, I'd never seen that flavour before, I think it was Bisto

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 18:21, Reply)
Chicken cacciatore, Chianti, hot bath, blayzit, telly or book, kip
Been a tough old day.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:28, Reply)
Have you fucked off the booze free monday's already then?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:29, Reply)
two days off a week: which days they are may vary due to social commitments etc esp at this time of year
tl;dr the two days off a week is still very much on
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:31, Reply)
Ah right.
I just looked up that Chicken cacciatore. Looks nice, I really don't like the pub-grub version which is covered in overly sweet bbq sauce though.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 17:34, Reply)
So, actually the estate agent was a very reasonable and personable human being.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 18:21, Reply)
was it a fit bird?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 18:27, Reply)
what's the score in the gina miller versus the government article 50 deathmatch?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:41, Reply)
trying to shoehorn in an "oo ah just a little bit joke"
but it's not working
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:46, Reply)
That's what your nan said.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:47, Reply)
something about trombones

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:49, Reply)
there won't be a verdict till the new year so its a bit dull

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:53, Reply)
+ George Dawes

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:59, Reply)
Today is just verbal submissions, tomorrow it gets interesting
Swimsuit and talent rounds.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:04, Reply)
I tried to watch a bit of it, but it was really really boring.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:06, Reply)
Never mind that, it's all kicking of in Antrim!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-38205945
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:13, Reply)
following your link i learnt something
goats have sticky up tails and sheep's tails hang down, also sheep have a philtrum (whatever that is) and goats don't. i'll never confuse the two from the rear again
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:25, Reply)
I'm not really up on 'goat knowledge' to be honest I was in my mid-twenties when I discovered they weren't the male-equivalent of sheep.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:28, Reply)
That's a mistake you only make once...

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:31, Reply)
well i always wondered what the difference was
your link inspired me to do so at last
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:35, Reply)
2 -1 ( 4-2 on aggr.)

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:33, Reply)
Jesus, who 'liked' my Sole Kitchen gag??

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:34, Reply)
not me

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:39, Reply)
Same person who liked my tyre joke no doubt

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:41, Reply)
They were both replies to me
But I didn't click either of them
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:09, Reply)
I thought maybe you were clicking that you liked them to draw attention to your own posts

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:16, Reply)
I haven't clicked any of the posts currently on the popular page
not sure why anyone has
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:20, Reply)
i didn't realise it was a gag

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:15, Reply)
well, it *was* very subtle

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:16, Reply)
I clicked the sole kitchen but I never done the tired one.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:48, Reply)
Dunno. What's a Gina Miller?
Part of me is thinking "lol make a joke about somebody milling fake vaginas on a lathe or something." The other part is thinking "don't be such a fucking twat."

The second part won, you'll be glad to know.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:38, Reply)
yet the first part of you still wishes to make itself known

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:39, Reply)
Yeah, it's kind of arrogant like that.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:41, Reply)
Terrible bullying

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:05, Reply)

1 pt vodka
1 pt gin
2 pts clamato
Dash of soy sauce
Shake well and serve over ice in martini glass frosted with lime juice and sugar.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:47, Reply)
I find it hard to believe that clamato would ever be a pleasant experience.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:54, Reply)
Likewise.
The mere fact that it exists at all is testament to the depths of foodwrong occasionally plumbed by the human race.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:56, Reply)
To be fair, the notion of tomato juice as a drink mystifies me.
Even more so those cartons of vegetable juices. Who is buying these?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:01, Reply)
People who want to feel virtuous and healthy while making cocktails, presumably.
Cf. V8, which even suggests on the carton that you mix it with vodka.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:03, Reply)
Mugs.
No one should try to kid themselves that vodka is healthy.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:06, Reply)
Micheladas made with clamato juice are gr8

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:40, Reply)
just wikipediad it, dun sick

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:42, Reply)
I can't participate here. For two reasons
1. I couldn't give a fuck.
2. So many people have me on ignore that I literally cannot participate.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:39, Reply)
What two objects would you merge together into a frightening new object?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:50, Reply)
Garlic + bread.
Cheese + cake.

Ahaha! Comedy gold!
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:56, Reply)
CUMedy more like m8
cos that's a load of wank
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)
Isn't someone on here friends with Dave Spikey,
or have I just made that up?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:19, Reply)
I think that you made that up
I can't see that cunt having a friend.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:20, Reply)
James Gandolfini corpse and Robocops technology

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:57, Reply)
Robomobster?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:00, Reply)
i like that

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:12, Reply)
a kitten - with teh lazers for eyes!!!!

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:59, Reply)
lol!

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:00, Reply)
wee wee + tapir

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:00, Reply)
I've never seen a tapir
I don't think they're real
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
I saw one in Berlin zoo, dontchaknow

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:07, Reply)
Along with the most miserable rhino in the world

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:08, Reply)
well it's not called a rhiyes, is it

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:25, Reply)


(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:33, Reply)
EXACTLY

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:39, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7978310
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:37, Reply)
bum + hole

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:00, Reply)
you can't combine anything with a hole mayte
this isn't the Acme company ffs
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
Half a hole!
#OutOfContextPunchlines
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:07, Reply)
Pie + A roll

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:01, Reply)
I just don't see how that would work

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)

i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02090/rollandpie_2090784c.jpg
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
Feed me, Seymour!

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:21, Reply)
Pie barm innit
Staple food of Wigan, with a pint of pie juice
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:38, Reply)
Pie + Pint
into pient
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)
I'm imagining this like a pork pie equivalent of a cherry liquer
where you bite into it and a load of ale pours out all over your chin
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:09, Reply)
That's why you put it in a roll m8, mops up the spillage.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:10, Reply)
roll + mops

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:11, Reply)
great for making lint and hair sandwiches.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:12, Reply)
Didn't he help the tories win the last election?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:13, Reply)
Sausage and dog into
dogage
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
^knows all about doggage

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:10, Reply)
Not going dogging on a motorbike, thanks
I think being able to roll up the windows is pretty much vital to taking part, being able to flip up the visor lid just isn't the same.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:12, Reply)
You could pretend your helmet is like the hatch in a 24/7 petrol station window
only it's taking in suspicious floppy lukewarm sausages instead of dispensing them.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:15, Reply)
You've thought about this
a bit too much tbh
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:17, Reply)
I just really want an Esso hot dog right now

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:23, Reply)
Is that slang for some kind of dogging thing
because I'm not hip with the lingo
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:23, Reply)
Lies on the internet

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:25, Reply)
Or he could take a tank cutter to his helmet and become a walking gloryhole.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:18, Reply)
infest, etc.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:19, Reply)
I have no idea what you're taking about
can you please draw a diagram of the setup you have in mind so I can comprehend better.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:23, Reply)
perv

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:33, Reply)
Well, yes, that's a given
but I'm more concerned about the proposal to damage the structure of my motorbike helmet. Health and safety comes before I do.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:41, Reply)

youtu.be/JwCbbMgp3Lw?t=1m43s
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:42, Reply)
A glass + a cock

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
Penis beaker?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:05, Reply)
Sexiest of all the Muppets

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:07, Reply)
what kind of glass?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:10, Reply)
Well in your case I imagine it'd be a shot glass.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:11, Reply)
One of those hourglass-shaped ones for Belgian beer.
They're vaguely phallic to begin with.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:14, Reply)
I went to a beer festival with my wife's cousin
and you're supposed to buy your own glass to carry around with you rather than use plastic, so I choose one I liked and the cousin, with the utmost snobbery a Pole could muster, said "you bought one with a handle?"

Fuck off, I like pint pots, do one.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:22, Reply)
In my whole drinking career I don't think I've ever been served a pint in a traditional handle glass.
Not even ironically in some wanker place.

The one here you get given the glass on entry. Every year we've hid them in a hedge on the way to another pub/town then forgotten to reclaim them.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:25, Reply)
I got offered the choice of glasses in St Albans' Fighting Cocks.
Wasn't expecting it, and stupidly chose a normal glass. Pretty sure that pint mugs have died out, in pubs, now.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:29, Reply)
I was told they were phased out when football fans started hitting each other over the heads with them.
I did see one pub had a lampshade made out of a load of them though.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:29, Reply)
I've got one in my collection, bought at a car boot sale a few years ago.
It's got a bit of a chip in the rim, not from me hitting anyone in the face with it, honest, ossifer.

Haven't seen one in a pub since I was a kid, though.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:37, Reply)
I think they died out alongside in-pub skittle alleys.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:38, Reply)
when I was a barman back in 2001 I'd never seen one
and when a Northern customer demanded one and I said "we don't have any" he told me to fuck right off, he'd been in 'business 20 year man'n'foal an' ee knew blokes were comin in tryna hawk glasses all 'time, so stop talkin shite ye suthern bastud.

Fucking prick, I hate northerners
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:39, Reply)
People who get precious about glasses in pubs can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.
As long as it's not warm or fucked so it doesn't fizz properly I'm not bothered.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:40, Reply)
I once drank in a bar in Belgium that had a different-shaped glass for every beer it sold.
If you wanted the 'proper' glass, you had to give them one of your shoes as a deposit to make sure you didn't walk off with it.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:47, Reply)
That pub had better be called The Shoe Inn or imma go full Bataclan on them

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:50, Reply)
The Sole Kitchen

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:51, Reply)
Fizz?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:51, Reply)
Yeah, have you ever had a pint that seemed to be flatter than a plate of piss and it's seemingly been down to the glass as when it's tipped into another one it's suddenly fine?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:55, Reply)
It's if these a fucked , we had a dodgy batch up my local a while back
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pint_glass#Nucleated_pint_glasses
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:58, Reply)
Aye that's the stuff.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:00, Reply)
Can't say that I have, no.
Is this a lager thing? Most beer isn't particularly effervescent, in my experience.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:03, Reply)
I think it's down to them leaving detergent in the glass
Edit: At least, according to Charles Bamforth.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:37, Reply)
suffrage and people

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:31, Reply)
It's that time of year again
www.thesun.co.uk/news/2327321/the-erotic-carp-calendar-you-never-knew-you-needed-is-here-in-time-for-christmas/
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:45, Reply)
can't believe July's got Little Carprice on it
megalols
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:47, Reply)
I don't know what to say

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:49, Reply)
why have they pixellated the nipples?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:50, Reply)
They've also pixellated one girls bum crack
Can only assume that the picture had previously shown her gaping anus
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:56, Reply)
The Sun doesn't hold with with objectification of women's bodies.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:07, Reply)
#freethenipple

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:09, Reply)
Because it'd be NSFW otherwise.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:09, Reply)
My dad always used to get my granddad the 'women in waders' one.
My aunt is a staunch feminist and scribbled over all the best bits.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:54, Reply)
Doesn't sound very liberating.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:03, Reply)
I got a ticking off in my first office job
after changing my PC's wallpaper to a selection of images from Page3.com. Oops.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:13, Reply)
lol.
I was 23 when I got my first office job. By then I was already aware that I didn't want to make my desktop look like a teenagers bedroom.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:28, Reply)
I've got Mr Meeseeks as my background at the moment though, lol.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:37, Reply)
I think I was old enough to know better, to be honest.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:39, Reply)
I think this iwll have to replace the Pirelli calendar
which has a load of washed up old grannies in it this year
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:03, Reply)
Yeah, they do look a little...
...tyred
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:05, Reply)


(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:18, Reply)
Those carp aren't wearing a stitch of clothing.
What next, a Maxim calendar featuring capybara?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:32, Reply)
willy and bum

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 13:48, Reply)
Cockbadger and kittenflaps

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:33, Reply)
that's rubbish m8

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:43, Reply)
That's rather the point m8

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 16:25, Reply)
Fish paste + marmite

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:37, Reply)
fucking hell

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 14:55, Reply)
Stuff of nightmares

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 15:04, Reply)
The C, the H, the E, the M, the I, the C, the A, the L
The brothers.... The Brothers...

What song's been stuck in your head of late?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:58, Reply)
Each day I wake up with an odd song in my head
yesterday it was Iron Maiden's "Children of the Damned", but the day before it was Bon Jovi's "Always".
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:00, Reply)
This...you're welcome
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kga2soqvMF0
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:01, Reply)
I've had Stay Another Day on a permanent loop in my head since December 1994

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:02, Reply)
Big tune.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:06, Reply)
Now I'm imagining a twilight-zone esque thing where a bloke has that and it drives him so mad he runs himself over just to make it stop.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:08, Reply)
Ironic twist: he's Tony Mortimer.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:13, Reply)
STAY NOW!

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:49, Reply)
You've just planted The Ganja Kru's Super Sharp Shooter in my head.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:02, Reply)
I love that record

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:37, Reply)
The Bubble Bunch rockin to the beat

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:10, Reply)
Colourbox
Col-col-col-col-colourbox
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:12, Reply)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DJ-Kicks:_Chicken_Lips
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:14, Reply)
Thanks to hearing it on loop in the car, "7 Years" has been running around my head.
I don't really mind, as hearing my daughter sing about "smoking herb and drinking bourbon liquor" never fails to raise a chuckle.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:03, Reply)
makes picking a christmas present a bit easier

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:20, Reply)
He'

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:29, Reply)
I heard a song on the radio by Soft Hair on the radio and it's been stuck in my head ever since.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:05, Reply)
you look as though you might have quite soft hair

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:16, Reply)
I rode my bike after getting out of the shower a while back, when I reached my destination I looked like I'd cycled out of a JAMC tribute.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:19, Reply)
You look as if you might secretly be a scarecrow.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:19, Reply)
it's no secret

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:21, Reply)
^Marty Balin

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:37, Reply)
*takes off*

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:38, Reply)
The C, the H, the U, the C, the K, the L, the E
The brothers...The Brothers.

Can't say as how there's been any particular song stuck in my head as of late. Unless you count a couple of tracks from Imperial Blue, but that's probably because I've seen her in concert four times in the space of a month.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:08, Reply)

Imperial Prussian
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:09, Reply)
Music to dye for

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:10, Reply)
They grew up and became interracial porn starlets you know.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:04, Reply)
oh god

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:07, Reply)
THat might not be troo.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:50, Reply)
To me

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:10, Reply)
To you

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:10, Reply)
BBC 6 Music got me humming
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, faster than my bullet"

All the time.

And there's some tune that goes "I've got friend in high places" but I can't remember the rest of the words and when I search that it comes up with some happy-clappy god-bothering shite.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:09, Reply)
Sometimes when masturbating I find myself humming the theme tune to 'in the night garden'.
It's really very catchy
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:13, Reply)
Stroking the ninky-nonk, eh?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:16, Reply)
Pinky Ponk more like

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:16, Reply)
Pontypines everywhere.
What a mess!
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:20, Reply)
Same, except it's "Dr Snuggles"

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:16, Reply)
Some gospel dance song I heard last night in a burger restaurant
Sounded like someone had just hit a button that said "late 80's dance remix" on a gospel choir. No idea what it was, but the fucker will not leave my head.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:23, Reply)
2 little boys

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:23, Reply)
why do you try to perpetuate the myth that you are a paedo?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:04, Reply)
I think its because everyone here seems to think I am anyway for some bizarre reason.
I figured it was best to just embrace it.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:21, Reply)
yeah, like, you're probably not a paedo tbh
but, if there's one thing you shouldn't embrace, it's paedophilia
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:26, Reply)
No I am not you are correct.
Perhaps its other members of the forum that should stop making out that I am.

Anyway - how are you my feathered friend?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:29, Reply)
yeah yeah yeah, i'm ok
i would suggest not embracing the paedo thing btw, it doesn't help
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:44, Reply)
Thank you for your advice dad.
I shall heed it.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:49, Reply)
but then you look stupid, like MyKey did when he tried to embrace being fat
but couldn't get his pudgy arms around it cos his belly got in the way
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:31, Reply)
I don't know who Fat MyKey is or was.
I will drop the charade now I am actually a 27 year old female bank robber.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:33, Reply)
just admit you're a faceless IT consultant with a failed relationship and move on with your life
Online facades are passe, maaaaan.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:42, Reply)
this is fairly accurate - however its MULTIPLE failed relationships

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:49, Reply)
^ chronic overachiever

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:53, Reply)
I like people to be aware of what I am really good at.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:56, Reply)
Didn't Wombat start going along with being a paedophile and then had a breakdown flounce?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:40, Reply)
Wombat pretended to be lots of things
I think his breakdown was failing to realise that being a moderately intelligent middle class white boy with loving parents means absolutely jack shit on the internet.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:43, Reply)
I think that some people here thought that i was the fabled wombat for a while
And i don't have a fucking clue who he is.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:50, Reply)
I thought you were
You both moan about life and then get defensive and then threaten violence, which on the internet is well lol and not tedious at all.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:10, Reply)
I have never threatened violence. Ever - and if I have then it has been in jest I can promise you that
I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag.

I shall change my ways.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:27, Reply)
More Than's 'on hold' music.
Cunts.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:31, Reply)

's 'on hold' music. Words by Extreme
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:33, Reply)
I think I would actually kill myself

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:37, Reply)
^

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:38, Reply)
^ the words I want to hear from you

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:42, Reply)
<s> This by Bryan Ferry

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:03, Reply)
At the UK bank I worked at in '04-'05 the hold music was 'Party For Two' by Shania Twain and 'It's Raining Men' by Geri Halliwell
at busy times people could be on hold for 20 minutes
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:28, Reply)
Here Comes The Fuzz by DJ Format

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:38, Reply)
Huey Morgan had a mash up of a few late 80s hip hop tracks on his show the other day.
Didn't recognise half of them and he didn't say what they all were. Going to try and find it and get you to ID them.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:51, Reply)
couldn't you just look it up?
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08489fb
was this programme also the inspiration for this thread?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:56, Reply)
I've not heard So Wat Ya Sayin'? in a long while.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:59, Reply)
I'll have a look, but he does a trifecta he calls it where he has his mate mix 3 songs together,
But this time it was 6, will it be listed in the tracks?

Edit, nope.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:03, Reply)
There are 6 hip-hop tracks sandwiched together between Fleetwood Mac and Sam Cooke in that list.
They're about the right era.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:04, Reply)
Yeah, that's the 6, starting with Jack of spades going. I didn't spot them at first.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:06, Reply)
apology accepted

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:09, Reply)
I'll apologise when I'm dead.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:14, Reply)
Jack of Spades by BDP?
I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka is a great film.
"How much for one rib?" cracks me up.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:27, Reply)
Haha, Rock was great in CB4 as well.
'Stabmaster Arson' lols.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:34, Reply)
He'll never top his appearance in Beverly Hills Ninja.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:36, Reply)
Slayer: Angel of Death.
But that's because I implanted a cd player into my brain with it on repeat.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:39, Reply)
CD player - that is so 90s

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:48, Reply)
I was behind a car this morning with the reg S114 YER

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:51, Reply)
I saw a numberplate with B13 ELM, which made me laugh.
I spotted 404 LOL in Luton, once, but I'm not sure how I feel about that one.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:59, Reply)
I like that people in various states in the us have registered 'BORT'.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:01, Reply)
So many, that they've run out of them?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:06, Reply)
someone on my estate has the car reg 'i 2 poop'
which i've always read as a posh gentleman explaining that he is just like the proles, "i too poop"
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:43, Reply)
it's a rolo tomassi one today that i've forgotten the name of

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:14, Reply)
oh, I miss rolos now :(
They're the new Double Decker
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:21, Reply)
Do they still make them? I've probably not had one in about 15 years.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:24, Reply)
munchies were better

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:26, Reply)
Wrong.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:30, Reply)
i like the way this thread has turned into a food thread
no u r the wrong one, munchies are boss and i eat them for breakfast
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:35, Reply)
I can't believe mongy is missing all the fun

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:38, Reply)
it was already a music thread, mongy would be livid already
and there's a numberplate subthread that I haven't bothered contributing to because I fucking draw the line somewhere.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:47, Reply)
We should do "funny graffiti", next.
Then "mix tapes".
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:49, Reply)
the mint ones were

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:31, Reply)
I love chocolate covered Kendal Mint Cake. It's like freebasing a box of After Eights.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:37, Reply)
What, have they changed the recipe or something?
Brexit Rolos, made from British-grown chocolate in factories staffed by white people who speak only English and have never claimed benefits or had children out of wedlock.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:27, Reply)
cheer up, there's always polish chocolate!

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:29, Reply)
Polish chocolates are good
but occasionally I want some mass-produced high-sugar Nestle shit made from cash crops to keep south America poor, nah'mean?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:32, Reply)
my hand-wringing principles have prevented me from consuming any Nestle products for years

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:37, Reply)
I found that Soda Stream boycott they had a few years ago exceptionally easy.
You know, what with it not being 1988.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:39, Reply)
I used to feel that way
but then realised that Nestle are no more evil than any other global brand, they're just not as good at covering it up, and trying to live without consuming global brand products would turn me into rnuk and I'd rather be dead.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:40, Reply)
I like to get most of my opinions second hand as well
which makes it awkward when someone asks me why I am boycotting them and I have to mutter something about them killing African babies or summat
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:42, Reply)
I can't wait for my daughter's vegetarian phase
so that we can regurgitate all the hackneyed bollocks arguments all over again just like all my girlfriends did in the '90s.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:44, Reply)
One of my mates brothers is going through a vegan phase at the moment.
One of his arguments for it was that it's healthier because you invariably have to cook everything yourself.

Which is clearly bollocks because I've been doing that with meat dishes since I was a povvo student.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:47, Reply)
Hasn't he got that the wrong way round?
You can eat most fruit and veg raw, but not cooking meat is a good way to poison yourself.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:51, Reply)
Fair point.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:56, Reply)
Kill him and wear his skin as a protest against fur.
My mad vegan friend on Facebook has been pondering how to do "fur shaming' properly, given that faux-fur can be quite convincing. Sadly "not harassing people over their choice of clothing" doesn't seem to have occurred to her or her like minded friends.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:06, Reply)
elderly ladies in fur coats are a nice easy target though

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:19, Reply)
I find it baffling that people that are really pro-shaming for things they don't like are also massively against shaming for other things.
It's almost as if they're massive hypocrites.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:20, Reply)
I think they're going to sell off all their fake fur, so that they can continue to pick on people without feeling guilty.
Twits.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:36, Reply)
Yeah, it's really inconsiderate of fake fur makers, making fur indistinguishable from animals so you can't bully people.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:45, Reply)
Still, life would be boring without angry idiots, eh

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:21, Reply)
The internet would be pretty quiet.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:37, Reply)
Thankfully, the internet finds a way to argue about anything.
There's probably someone right now calling someone else a cunt on a gardening forum because they differ in opinion as to when you should plant your barassica's .
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:47, Reply)
I knew someone who boycotted PG Tips because of the chimp adverts

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:52, Reply)
Bit racist.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:56, Reply)
also, bad news they are slashing the sugar content
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3988632/Great-news-chocoholics-Treat-tastes-just-sweet-half-sugar-developed-Nestle.html
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:44, Reply)
here's a fun game, how many clicks from that story can you get to another on the daily mail website that either blames immigrants for something or cites a cure for / cause of cancer

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:51, Reply)
I only click the links about celebrities I've never heard of showing off their Fabulous Beach Bodies

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:53, Reply)
or displaying 'ample cleavage'

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:59, Reply)
I want to read about sexy chemists
and their ampoule cleavage
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:12, Reply)
just shut up will you

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:16, Reply)
you're my nuclear fuel baby
I can't live without U
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:42, Reply)
I got a bag of chocolate covered prunes
from the supermarket's Polish aisle some years ago. They were reduced, the concept having failed to take off, but they were one of the tastiest chocolate/fruit combinations I've ever enjoyed.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:28, Reply)
white and purple plastic bag?
They're lovely.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:41, Reply)
the theme music from brooklyn 99 as i watched about 30 episodes of it this weekend

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:46, Reply)
I got started on that Westworld this weekend.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:48, Reply)
I feel that Weston-Super-Mareworld should be a thing

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:29, Reply)
didn't banksy already do that?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:32, Reply)
BRB, just registering a patent for 'Hull Simulator'.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 12:48, Reply)
Bananarama - Baby It's Christmas

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 11:51, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:00, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:08, Reply)
^ First Past The Post in this rotten borough

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:14, Reply)
Orite all
Only on a half day today, don't see the point of going in really
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:15, Reply)
half days like that are usually wank
but it's a good excuse to eat lunch in a restaurant or stop off at the place you've been wanting to go to on the way home.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:27, Reply)
That's the plan, and that place is "the juicer"

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:41, Reply)
A proper pub's opened up near me in an old tenement
so old, in fact, that the pub is too narrow to park a pram in so I can't stop off for a pint on my evening walk. What a stupid fucking oversight of the planners there.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:45, Reply)
Sounds like the Temple in Manchester, God knows how that place stays open
It's nice enough, good beer, max capacity about 12 people including the bar staff
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:12, Reply)
Proper pubs are no place for a baby, anyway.
Just leave it outside.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:35, Reply)
I used to get a lot of flack from people for having a policy of no high chairs in any of the pubs I ran.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:22, Reply)
I've always been more than happy to see children in pubs,
but it's a bit off when they're still there in the evening.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:59, Reply)
/mumsnet
the solution here is a baby carrier, strap it to you, although you have to circumnavigate their massive heed to get the pint to your mouth
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:47, Reply)
might be some strikey-g opportunities here

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:47, Reply)
Mount the kid upside down.
That way you avoid the massive head issue, although you may get kicked in the face.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:06, Reply)
No, the solution is not to bring your squalling, spewing shit machine, whoops, sorry I meant 'little miracle' into a fucking pub in the first place.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:29, Reply)
apparently you're not supposed to leave them by themselves though

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:34, Reply)
it's a real catch 22

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:38, Reply)
not really, I want a pint

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:43, Reply)
there's probably a craft ale called Catch 22

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:44, Reply)
bingo
www.ratebeer.com/beer/svaneke-catch-22/119786/
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:46, Reply)
a review you can hang your hat on
"Almost no flavor. What it does not have in the smell, it have in the taste, however. It has great taste of hard roasted malt and light tones of English liquorice. Very tasty and incredibly good."
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:48, Reply)
So it tastes of nothing, something and is very tasty

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:48, Reply)
sth sth dancing about architecture

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:52, Reply)
Christ what a bunch of wankers - there are 8 pages of that guff

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:58, Reply)
I dunno, it worked for Friz didn't it?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:39, Reply)
oh sure
it's every parents' dream to outlive their children
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:44, Reply)
No, that's EXCELLENT foresight by the planners. the main cause of aggro in pubs is clueless cunts thinking boozers want to see their place of drinking turned into a fucking creche.
Frankly Grrry, you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to see yet another fucking 'family pub'.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:26, Reply)
It's a shame you can't make pubs physically accessible for wheelchairs but not for pushchairs.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:30, Reply)
Nah, I'm all for keeping legfails out too.
And should I ever become a legfail you won't catch me U-turning like spazmo Matt:
www.b3ta.com/links/1136042#post1136099
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:38, Reply)
Mmmm, karma is delicious.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:54, Reply)
I don't want a family pub at all m8
but when Control is asleep I don't want to sit on a park bench for an hour in sub zero temps if there's an option of sitting in a pub with a pint until it wakes up
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:35, Reply)
^ this
family friendly pubs and restaurants are shit and for cunts.
I'll take the passive aggressive stares of other patrons for a nice pint.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:40, Reply)
Mo mo mo morn morn morning morningy

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:43, Reply)
Alright Windy "Poo Unlimited" Pig

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:44, Reply)
mmmmmm

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:56, Reply)
^ Crash Test Dummy

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 7:58, Reply)
Good Mon-morn to you.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:17, Reply)
bah baaah, bah da ba-bahh

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:21, Reply)
morning Grrrmachine where abouts in the world are you today?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:22, Reply)
at my desk, as usual
How about you?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:32, Reply)
My guess would be a budget hotel room with an underaged prostitute.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:34, Reply)
Pretty close.
The Tower Gouman hotel St Katherine's dock.

It's alright here. A nice gentleman just brought me my breakfast.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:38, Reply)
Morning
It's freezing so I've started wearing a vest to work. Just like John McClane!
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:22, Reply)
Just an older, fatter version?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:23, Reply)
Well hairier, certainly

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:25, Reply)
Somehow I've managed to end up with a job on the roof today. Fucking freezing.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:28, Reply)
You're Father Christmas?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:32, Reply)
Why would I be on a roof today if I was father Christmas?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:59, Reply)
Practicing for the big day

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:17, Reply)
Do you not think I'd have it sorted after all these years? Or in this weird fantasy am I a newly appointed Santa?
Like we all get a go a bit like Jury Duty?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:22, Reply)
^Rudy Lewis

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:34, Reply)
^Rudy Guede

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:00, Reply)
^ Rod Hull
*crosses fingers*
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:39, Reply)

John McClane Skee-Lo
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:33, Reply)
I'm having to work from home, so as to look after two thirds of my children, who are off sick.
Cuts the commute, so that's a plus. On the downside, constant background noise of YouTube.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:37, Reply)
turn off the tv and make them do chores

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:44, Reply)
The other one's come home, now.
I can't see me getting an awful lot done, today.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:00, Reply)
morning
starting my new job today. busy busy busy.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:38, Reply)
new position in the same firm, or new place completely?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:44, Reply)
the former
still working for the uni
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:51, Reply)
what as now?
Do they still need nudey models in the art centre?
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:53, Reply)
probably. i actually painted the floor of the life drawing studio. how many tits, bums and winkies those walls must have seen
i'll be in the edit suite learning how to use and administrate avid
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:58, Reply)
I'm actually rather jealous of that
congratulations
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:58, Reply)
thanks m8t

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:23, Reply)
New stationary cupboard to raid?
Treat yo'self
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:04, Reply)
Good Morning
good mooooorning, we've gone and twerked the whole night through,
Good morning,
Good morning,
To you.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:39, Reply)
shut up

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:45, Reply)
It's okay
I'm coming down now
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:46, Reply)
not sure how much more I can take tbh

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:44, Reply)
kill yourself now
while you still have the energy
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:45, Reply)
On my desk I have a stapler, a banana and some suntan lotion
I'd happily murder you with some/all of them if you can think of a good way to put them to deadly use.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:47, Reply)
Staple the nose shut and make him drink the suntan lotion
Then use the banana to block his throat, job done.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:08, Reply)
Elegant
and untraceable.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:28, Reply)
I think it might be too late
my best hope is to curl up in a foetal position outside and hope the cold weather kills me
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:48, Reply)

oet aec
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:50, Reply)
Poopo lol

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:08, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:25, Reply)
were hear 4 u hun xox

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:53, Reply)
Alright.
Went to a Christmassy themed lights thing at Wisley on the weekend. We didn't mean to, we were just going for an afternoon stroll, but there it is.

It was absolutely fucking packed with kids. Screaming, tantruming, running around it was impossible to move without damned near treading on the little cunts. God, I hate children.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:50, Reply)
not as much as I do

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:52, Reply)
Of course, if you boot them out of the way then suddenly you're the bad guy.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:09, Reply)
it's the kids that ruin Christmas
otherwise you could just plonk your feet on the coffee table with a bottle of brandy and spend a day off watching a BttF box set.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:58, Reply)
Yes, this guy gets it.
Fire lit, shoes off, stomach full and a snooze in front of Die Hard.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:03, Reply)
Christmas is just like a month-long sugar rush for kids.
Two entire days in the company of screaming kids with presents and entitlement await me in a fortnight or so and I am not looking forward to them.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:01, Reply)
Yeah, kids are rubbish. Not going to bother.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:02, Reply)
I'm wise enough to know they're probably eventually going to happen,
even if it's just to keep the missus happy. However, I hope to have a separate study in the house that I can lock the door on by that time.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:05, Reply)
Ladypig hates them.
So I think I'll be fine.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:06, Reply)
Mine used to be scared of them.
However, the nephews I think are causing her to soften. I may be on borrowed time, here.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:08, Reply)
sometimes it's possible to detect an almost audible ticking sound in women of a certain age

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:16, Reply)
Cats are snooze buttons for ovaries.

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:03, Reply)
Morning
If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:58, Reply)
I will call you Betty, and tell you to fuck off Betty I never invited you here

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 8:59, Reply)
Something about a roly-poly little bat-faced girl

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:07, Reply)
Yeah, what about it?
/belligerent Monday
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:27, Reply)
YOU WANNA GO? YEAH? YOU WANNA GO?

(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:36, Reply)
Yeah ok.
I threw a sickie this morning. Got to the bus stop and thought 'Nah, fuck it, can't be arsed'. a good fight might warm me up a bit.
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:41, Reply)
I thought you were a jobless alchie
now you've sold yourself to The Man, you've gone down in my estimation, stuj
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:53, Reply)
I'll tell you what.
Snot
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 9:52, Reply)
Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.
Proverbs 27:14
(, Mon 5 Dec 2016, 10:01, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 20:20, Reply)
Yer, you?

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 20:31, Reply)
Yeah, pretty good.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 20:36, Reply)
I'm just giving that Westworld a go.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 20:39, Reply)
I'm rewatching Sopranos, which Mrs. Tea hadn't seen before.
Realized I'd forgotten how fucking great it is. Just starting series 4.
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 21:18, Reply)
I should probably do that. Big commitment though. Rewatched Six Feet Under last year.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 21:44, Reply)
Getting g

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 20:55, Reply)
ranny over a barrel

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 21:06, Reply)

g

JIGGY WITH IT
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 22:14, Reply)
arr'noon

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:42, Reply)
Alright rich

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:52, Reply)
dave

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 17:16, Reply)
*nods*

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 16:05, Reply)
'ow do

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 17:17, Reply)
Yo

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 17:22, Reply)
sup Rich

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 17:36, Reply)

*raises pint*
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 18:04, Reply)
I was gonna go the pub tonight but now I've had a toot and made and eaten some curried lentil soup I can't be bothered moving.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 19:16, Reply)
On a train innit

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 19:38, Reply)
1 Undershaft
lol

as if London didn't already have enough cocks
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 10:19, Reply)
Bit rude

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 10:20, Reply)
What's he on about.
Also, I'm not a bum.
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 10:55, Reply)
You totes are m8
My kid is still asleep. Fucking rubbish.
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 11:13, Reply)
Update: STILL asleep ffs

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 11:48, Reply)
That's almost impressive.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 12:01, Reply)
Also this might be relevant to your interests, or annoy you for not being obscure enough
The Sundaze Service
Jarvis Cocker's Sunday Service
Have you got your ticket from that mashed-up bloke in Camden?

Let's hope so as Jarvis takes you back to the Raves of '89 as part of My Generation 1980s.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0848c8s
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 12:27, Reply)
Might be alright
I have an early bleep techno record on Warp, the sleeve of which was designed by Cocker
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 14:59, Reply)
Which one's that?
I really should get more of the ai series.
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:02, Reply)
Testfour by Sweet Exorcist iirc

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:10, Reply)
Maybe hold a mirror near her mouth, check she's still breathing?

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 12:55, Reply)
Or the age old parental trick of hoovering the hallway.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)
you'll get it when you read the news

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 12:24, Reply)
Nope, still nothing.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 13:18, Reply)
you'll know what one undershaft is soon enough

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 14:10, Reply)
GS

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:16, Reply)
The pub football last man standing rolls on another week we both won

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 15:26, Reply)
Morning.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:13, Reply)
Alright pal

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:20, Reply)
Alright

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:39, Reply)
wotcha

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:34, Reply)
Yeah good. How was Torun?

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:40, Reply)
Happy Sunday, everyone.
I'm all weighted down by last night's Chinese takeaway, and about to go bouldering - probably not the best combination.
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:52, Reply)
Morning Windle

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 9:55, Reply)
Go ahead Mr Windle
Mr. Windle has freedom
A freedom that you and I think is dumb
Free to be without the worries of a quick to diss society
For Mr. Windle's a bum
(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 10:08, Reply)
Lol bum

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 10:08, Reply)
bollocks

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 19:54, Reply)
u ok hun?

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 19:55, Reply)
never better

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 19:56, Reply)
what's all this bollocks then?

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:04, Reply)
it just seemed the right thing to say

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:06, Reply)

say feel
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 23:03, Reply)
I just attempted Chinese style chilli beef for the first time. It came out alright, now I'm in the pub; everything's coming up gormo.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:04, Reply)
we're getting central heating

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:07, Reply)
I've just moved from a place with central heating to one with storage heaters. They're shite.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:10, Reply)
we're having to get by on a gas fire and electric radiators at the moment

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:18, Reply)
and the gas fire is from the 1950s and frankly it's a bit frightening

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:20, Reply)
1950s gas is a lot cheaper though so it's probably worth it economically

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 5:07, Reply)
At least electric radiators let their heat out when you want them to rather than when you're at work.
I'd like a heat pump. They seem to basically use magic to extract heat from outside even when it's cold.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:22, Reply)
yeah they can be very efficient,
although it's a job putting them in because they have to lay pipes under the ground usually, and they are complicated machines so there's a lot of scope for breakdowns. But it's essentially the same as a fridge, except where the cold part is under your garden.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:24, Reply)
You can get atmospheric ones as well now. Like an air con unit running backwards innit.
In Berlin I think they pump heat underground then attach pumps to that loop to actively shift heat into buildings
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:29, Reply)
yeah there's a lot more heat in the ground than in the air though,
because of the density, and a few feet underground tends to stay at a relatively constant temperature throughout the day.

otherwise it is exactly like air con running backwards, in fact i believe you can run them as air con in the summer as well.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:32, Reply)
hobbit houses y/n

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 21:25, Reply)
Saw a couple of turf houses in Iceland they were pretty cool.
As is having geothermal hot water as a public service, e even if it does smell of guffs.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 22:23, Reply)
Bubblefartbaths
for all!
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 23:24, Reply)
I was never that big a Douglas Adams fan, sorry.

(, Sun 4 Dec 2016, 16:02, Reply)

thing one
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 21:53, Reply)
Too right

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:06, Reply)
Shitcunts

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 20:59, Reply)
[Source cited]

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 21:17, Reply)
I made some hot buttered rum.
Bit too buttery, in my opinion, and a bit of a faff to make, but nice nonetheless.
Also, I now have a bottle of good rum.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:16, Reply)
redrum

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:24, Reply)
Sounds bent

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:31, Reply)
I used Mount Gay Rum,
so I suppose it was a bit.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:32, Reply)
You poofs sicken me

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:41, Reply)
that'll be your gag reflex kicking in

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:43, Reply)
They do make me boik

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:44, Reply)
don't let them stick their cocks so far down your throat, then

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:49, Reply)
I only encounter lesbians

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:32, Reply)
those cocks come with batteries

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:39, Reply)
Lol

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 18:15, Reply)
just drink the rum

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:42, Reply)
This is an excellent plan.
Might inflict the buttered nonsense on a few other people, though.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:47, Reply)
you have to, it's a festive drink
and they're not allowed to be nasty about it
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:49, Reply)
It is a bit like drinking a puréed chrissie pudding.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:52, Reply)
as long as it's not advocaat, that stuff is nasty

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:58, Reply)
Might have a go at making some egg nog,
if I don't drink all the rum.
My nan was fond of a snowball.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:02, Reply)
first things i ever got pissed on, snowballs
happy hour at the hotel when i was 12 and the bar staff would serve anyone.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:06, Reply)
I broke my booze cherry on Hock, at a family friend's New Year do.
Hung about the kitchen, and a succession of adults gave me "a little taste" as a treat. I got pleasantly plastered.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:14, Reply)
we used to make bottles of 'shitmix'
which was basically waiting for the first empty lemonade or coke bottle and filling it with whatever spirits we could get hold of to about halfway, then topping it up with lemonade and stashing the bottle to take to my mate's the next day before being caught
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:24, Reply)
One of my pals married a Polish woman.
Around Christmas it's pretty common for them to shove a load of sugar and berries in a massive jar and ferment it. The father in law is now banned from doing it after being twatted for a straight fortnight.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:29, Reply)
i like his style

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:33, Reply)
Sounds like an ideal way to spend Christmas.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:36, Reply)
^this

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:39, Reply)
I'll bet she was, the dirty old bollocks.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:13, Reply)
it tends to stain

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:08, Reply)
it certainly stained the hotel towels

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:11, Reply)
Alright innit?

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:11, Reply)
Sounds alright.
The bloke who supplies most of our electrical fittings and so on got me a case of Stella because "the stars make it a sort of Christmas lager"
Good on him I reckon.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:36, Reply)
Aw, bless.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 18:12, Reply)

ttered r m b
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:49, Reply)
nooning

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 12:28, Reply)
Alright Woods,
The eBay seller I was having problems with seems to have decided sending me abusive messages at 1am is sensible. I wonder if it's Spanishfly.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 12:35, Reply)
It is

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 12:54, Reply)
Alright.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)
I don't imagine anyone has ever seen Spanishfly and Donald Trump in the same room.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 13:04, Reply)
spanishfly only talks to real presidents
Trump is just president elect, meaning he's below sf's standards
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:06, Reply)
Alright mate

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:18, Reply)
Yo Wooderz.
I've not been on much lately but popped on briefly last night. I see spanishfly hasn't stopped being a tiresome mental fantasist.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 13:03, Reply)
I'm hoping for a proper Bertdown at some point.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 13:15, Reply)
I object to being described as a 'previously "cool" wanker'
I've never been cool
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:19, Reply)
That's a very good point.
More of his lies.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:29, Reply)
I rather enjoy it

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:09, Reply)
Yo
I am in the romantic city of Torun on my own.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:03, Reply)
find a place to sleep

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:07, Reply)
I'll be leaving in 4 hours
I'm just enjoying the gingerbread
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:12, Reply)
Alright all.
So this labour mp doesn't think there should be shared bathrooms because men are sink-pissing animals. I kind of resent that, but when I had a basin in my room in halls I pissed in it quite regularly rather than get dressed and shuffle down the corridor to the communal bogs in the middle of the night.

So, have you pissed in a sink? Perhaps you were desperate and the bathroom was occupied. Perhaps you were in the bath and it was convenient. Perhaps it was just for fun.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 14:44, Reply)
I've
pissed in a sink. and in my pants. and into puddles and streams and rivers and lakes and oceans. never into a pool tho, that's whack.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:05, Reply)
There's a song
in that if you set your mind to it.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:06, Reply)
Recently, yes
had a 4am hookup with someone at their flat and rather than use the bathroom we thought using the sink would be less likely to rouse the flatmates.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:05, Reply)
I think.this sort of gold ought to be the new QOTW

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:30, Reply)
I've pissed into a wide variety of objects in various locales
sinks are just a baby step in the pissing repertoire
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 15:42, Reply)
In my houseshare during/after uni the hot water tank was in my bedroom. This meant I often woke up on a Saturday to the sound of running water and bursting for a piss.
I'm sure the neighbours just loved watching a severely hungover buffoon in a dressing gown dart out for a piss up the back of the shed.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 17:26, Reply)
i presume you wouldn't have pissed in your sink
if there had been a urinal in the room, though
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:06, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 16:04, Reply)
alright b3ta, what's ahaking?

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 1:40, Reply)
I'm wondering that myself.
can you smoke it?
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 2:35, Reply)
Your hand by the looks of it.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 9:14, Reply)
Rich.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 9:19, Reply)
Chris.

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 11:51, Reply)
Spanishfly, by the looks of it

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 11:21, Reply)
I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of his work

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 12:35, Reply)
This is very much a thread where I ask..."what would you do?"
I have just walked out of the shower in my hotel in my birthday auitroom back into the living area...only to find two blokes up two different ladders in the room checking the air conditioning.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:08, Reply)
wank 'em off

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:35, Reply)
Just for fun, raise both your hands above your head and make the vigirous masturbation action I make in 2cans shed (greenhouse)
To the point when YOU would normally shoot your load all over your depressed mothers face.

Worst 8 seconds of your life right?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:41, Reply)
Are you in a lift?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:36, Reply)
When was the last time you saw a shower in a lift you fucking moron.
Mind you when was the last time you could see your own bellend you bloated mess.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:39, Reply)
guess the country

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:47, Reply)
Fucking England your racist UKIP brexit daily mail cunttoss

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:38, Reply)
"your"
lol
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:36, Reply)
"Lol"
Lol
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:51, Reply)
Dry under your foreskin
and then begin cutting your toenails.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:53, Reply)
I FUCKING knew I recognised that builders crack

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:37, Reply)
Whatever the gay porn director is paying you to do.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:58, Reply)
Black myself up and masturbate on your tomatoes in your shit greenhouse and make it openly accessible to other suicidal vetenarians

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:37, Reply)
You're a liar.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:55, Reply)
I am a liar/
But this is not a lie
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:26, Reply)
Course it is.
You're one of those weird people that make stuff up online for the attention. We've had loads here over the years.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:54, Reply)
So to get attention online I come to a semi anonymous moribund forum
Full of pathetic sad middle aged previously "cool" wankers.

There are about 7 regular posters on /talk.

2 on /board.

LOL!
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 1:30, Reply)
The irony is...
You wrote this exact reply simply to try and get "likes"

I used to like you.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 1:31, Reply)
oh cool, can i get an unnecessarily aggressive response as well?

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:12, Reply)
You know what I like about you?
Everything you loveable rogue you
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:27, Reply)
I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't get me banned
so I posted something on /links instead
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:36, Reply)
Lol

(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 0:52, Reply)
Yeah?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:28, Reply)
fuck yeah!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:30, Reply)
Crack on lad.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:35, Reply)
Aye.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:32, Reply)
Big one.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:35, Reply)
Jonatton

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:38, Reply)
Get on it.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:48, Reply)
Dutch wine?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:56, Reply)
p'raps

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:39, Reply)
Smash it up.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:48, Reply)
I've just got some vanilla cush weed apparently, so I'm gonna have a few more pints then go get a bottle of Bailey's and a bottle of brandy and get messy indoors

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:39, Reply)
I'm in the pub, au some point I'll fuck off home for rum and a toke.
Fuck knows what strain it is, gets me lean tho.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:43, Reply)
I have two 6/10 greens, some 8/10 hash and some snivel
Plus a bockle of gin and steak fer uz tea. All's well in Richard-land
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:56, Reply)
Might get round to cooking my chilli shredded beef. Or if I get pished I'll have my chicken thighs. Good toimes.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:01, Reply)
Don't be so hard on yourself, I bet you've got great thighs.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:18, Reply)
Lol, my old housemate was a massive builder but had tiny girly legs.
He was quite sensitive about them and hid them in baggy jeans it was lol.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:20, Reply)
That's always well lol.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 20:25, Reply)
I've got solid , just normal , but it does its job and you can pin hole your clothes

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:02, Reply)
I'd like a couple of oz of a decent clean solid
I'm too old to smoke heavy bud
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:06, Reply)
I'm not sure if I've ever smoked hash that wasn't your basic soap bar.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:12, Reply)
All about plastic waterproof coats with more blimmers in them than Swiss Cheese.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:07, Reply)
One man banger.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:49, Reply)
KennethWilliams.jpg

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:00, Reply)
Pub near here got closed Tuesday due to kids being drugged up racists, they have turned up here, I'm better off home before it kicks off

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:01, Reply)
I expect they take after the local elders.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:02, Reply)
How very dare you , I kicked off at football

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:33, Reply)
Still got the bag of sharpened 2ps?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:38, Reply)
I'm a charlton fan. I just got beaten up

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:43, Reply)
One of the local nutters was drinking here for a while, it drove everyone else away.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:02, Reply)
I've got cheap weed and cans of Guinness original, that'll do

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 21:13, Reply)
Shit yeah!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:53, Reply)
Proper sesh!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:54, Reply)
Standard

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:56, Reply)
Ohhh Yeah!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 18:59, Reply)
^was all yello

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 23:23, Reply)
silly old willy

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:00, Reply)
smelly old wasp

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:00, Reply)
friendly old bum!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:01, Reply)
Thanks
just had to go watch that. Still don't understand why I love it so much.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 22:57, Reply)
Oh shit

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 19:11, Reply)
it's THAT good!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 20:35, Reply)
meh

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 20:44, Reply)
That good, eh?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 20:52, Reply)
Yeah ok, let's have it then

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 21:11, Reply)
'Mon then

(, Fri 2 Dec 2016, 21:30, Reply)

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