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MORning

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)
I'm firing up the pizza oven later.
Today is a day for mega dough catering. Gluten intolerants flee for your gutlives.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:46, Reply)
I never asked you about any of that dull bollocks.
I'd appreciate it if you kept that sort of thing to yourself in future.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:52, Reply)
smyls

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:54, Reply)
Morning
Another fine sunny Saturday to spend at work sweating in a suit like Jill Dando trying to get her key in the front door.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:01, Reply)
TOPICAL

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:29, Reply)
On the matter of assliquor
Best to not do that. I can't find it.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 4:22, Reply)
hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:25, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:37, Reply)
Dvstn

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:47, Reply)
hello?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:30, Reply)
hello?..

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:32, Reply)
echo...

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:35, Reply)
...echo

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:35, Reply)
alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:00, Reply)
bit harsh
alright
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:13, Reply)
4/10
But needy you spaz
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:17, Reply)
Should ask the Doveston to rate your responses
It seems he sucks everyone off that posts here more than twice a day. Possibly because the number correlates to the amount of times he's fucked a girl. I dunno
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:18, Reply)
alright fucksocks
how's your nose, ears and throat?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:20, Reply)
hey what's for breakfast

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:48, Reply)
i'm having mashed potato, baked beans and suasages
RIGHT NOW. it's lovely. i prolly wont eat again til much later so hopefully this counts as both tomorrows breakfast aswell as tonights tea.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:11, Reply)
hey! radio three is actually kinda cool!

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:24, Reply)
and jimi is on the telly!

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:44, Reply)
maybe humanity is not so fukt after all!
oh...
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:46, Reply)
where the fuck is dannyjock?
I miss the ugly fat bearded wankshaft.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:01, Reply)
apparently yaya toure
Is a bit racist
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:02, Reply)
this place would be dead on its arse if you stopped posting

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:45, Reply)
HEY cunt
FFS dude
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7728276
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:05, Reply)
Who's that The LOVELY Span Eff?
I left Pub early, there was hardly anyone out.
So, Pizza, HOMEBOOZE and internet for me :D. Might Skyrim for a bit soon.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:14, Reply)
stuuuuj <3

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:26, Reply)
The LOVELY Vady!
:D
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:54, Reply)
alright the LOVELY stuj
been pub had a meal with the female spanish effs shes now gone out on the town i am boozing and playing poker.

Come round bro
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:58, Reply)
resyk

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:26, Reply)
New bank holiday thread time?
Shall we have an early pun thread?

Cars mixed with household cleaning products

GO!
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:32, Reply)
Mazda MRbleach

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:38, Reply)
go fuck yourself

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:40, Reply)
Haha classic derogatory fuckglove Doveston
Neurotic shite post.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:55, Reply)
bit needy

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
I didn't want to call him that but glad you got it out there
Cheers SSG you septic bellend
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
Sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Ever thought the things you type get a bit...
...worn?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:31, Reply)
Sympathy response

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:14, Reply)
Ford Cilit Bang

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:42, Reply)
Citroen Fairy Liquid

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:42, Reply)
VW Brasso

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:43, Reply)
Haha brasso!
Reminds me of my dead blind raped nan
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:36, Reply)
Vauxhall Mr Muscle

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:45, Reply)
what was your original username?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:52, Reply)
Why?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:56, Reply)
it was mortal wombat

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:05, Reply)
Alright nonchalant narcissist
You ok?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Ok, thanks.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:26, Reply)
Mofaha

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:56, Reply)
Donkey raping shit eating fuck faced spastic shit cunt
rob had to make a special exception to have such a long username
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:09, Reply)
Rob doesn't even know who I am
That's like saying god loves us all you spastic cunt
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:24, Reply)

haha classic pasanonic
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Sony...
I mean sorry
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:28, Reply)
hexachordal

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:18, Reply)
yeah, this one

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:20, Reply)
I owe that guy money

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:24, Reply)

how much does he charge for guaranteed torn sphincter these days?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:29, Reply)
It depends.
The Doveston costs 5, SSG 12, a rapist like me gets it for 3.50
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:31, Reply)

that's an aggressive pricing scheme
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:33, Reply)
Almost a ponzi pansy scheme

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:15, Reply)
That guy owes me two score, so you can pay me.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:37, Reply)
fuck off Tim stilton

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:00, Reply)
Gin in a tin
Alt: gin in a tin.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:01, Reply)
Mongy, I'll give you 50% to collect it for me.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:00, Reply)
Mongy will be too busy fucking fish brains right now
Balls deep in the head of a dead fish
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:21, Reply)
eat a cunt full of arse eggs

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:09, Reply)
Hey alright new person
Have you got wine and a kebab yet you spoon licking fruit bat?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
red hatchback window cleaner

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:12, Reply)

toyota sponge
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Toyota toilet duck

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Porsche Parazone

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:29, Reply)
lamborghini windolene

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:22, Reply)
ferrari dove moisturising gentle hand cleaner

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:23, Reply)
aston martin jeyes fluid

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:26, Reply)
MASSIVE FUCKING BONFIRE RARRRGH!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
WHERE WHERE???
Are you sure its not a forest fire?

*runs to the hills*
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Run for your liffeeeee

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:26, Reply)
alright bumless
Plans?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:30, Reply)
working till 3 then im not sure
Fucking working tomorrow as well. Might have to head in with a stinking hangover. You?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:46, Reply)
going out for afternoon dinner and a few drinks in the SSSSSSUUUUNNNNSSHIIIIIIIIIIINE
Just get pissed and worry about work tomorrow, if you can hide in work then I wouldn't worry about it, or call in sick say you drank 1000 yakults and woke up made entirely of light
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I don't have a forest in my veg plot. Prolly a bit excessive.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Make sure it stays away from 2nd hand sheds with epdm roofs
that fucker will smoke like a bastard
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
I love the smell of burning rubber.
Said your mum.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:04, Reply)
captain placid likes epdm

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 16:34, Reply)
BIG MASSIVE FUCKING DRUGS RARRRGH!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:48, Reply)
not today thank you I need to mow the lawns and clear some hedges but than you for your kind offer kiss kiss bye bye

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Why drugs are you consuming?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 16:08, Reply)
do you now know how joan of arc felt?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 17:10, Reply)
Did she feel
Dead?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 17:54, Reply)
Crispy.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:09, Reply)
terrible!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:22, Reply)
yeah
assuming she'd just spent the day digging up bushes and burning them at the bottom of her suburban garden
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:07, Reply)
friday morning joke then i'm off for brekkers
i bought venison sausages last night, they were deer! haha geddit?

have a smashing day, toodle pip
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:08, Reply)
Morning
Which of you other poor sods are at work like me?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:58, Reply)
I have been off for the past 2 weeks
It's getting a bit boring now. Enjoy work though
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Bastardo spanisho flyo

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:27, Reply)
seriously its like going stir crazy a bit
Fun for the first week, but then it got a bit....samey
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Yeah I know the feeling
When I was off for like a year I was just dying to get back to fucking work.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)
WERE THE STEAKS HIGH????
Hahaha, meat puns,they never get old. Or should I say, "they never get mutton", hahahaaha
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:15, Reply)
That was a right rib tickler

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Haha, good one.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I got a great deal on on some veal sausages
They were calf price
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
YES !

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:11, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:26, Reply)
mirnung
nuff respec'
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:46, Reply)
where is everyone?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:49, Reply)
Bank Holiday, so we've all got better things to do.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:53, Reply)
and there's me on my daily commute as normal :-(

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:55, Reply)
Bad luck.
I'm sat in bed, whilst the wife and kids feed me homemade muffins.
Still, you probably have a very important job to do, so that's something.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:12, Reply)
and we are going to the pub at lunch
Finishing early.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:16, Reply)
I do so love a happy ending.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Anyone got any interesting plans for bank holiday?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:41, Reply)

it was very quiet last night too, maybe it's time to have just one board
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:02, Reply)
Red Dwarf series 1
Just starting now on Dave.

Well that's me sorted until 6am, and I don't even have any MASSIVE DRUGS tonight
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:48, Reply)
RED DWARF IS SHIT
Craig Charles makes my skin creep. Sick pervo drug taking skank. But being Scouse it's never his fault
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:04, Reply)
looks like /talk is just for me and my dog,
it's too whappley for crows.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:51, Reply)
alright MGT
I am the resident nonce, what you up to you illiterate spaz?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:53, Reply)
drinking vanilla vodka and awaiting the return of the Spacefish
how about you?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:54, Reply)
Drinking wine with the missus and watching a very old episode of
the Royle Family. What ever happened to Ralph Little hey? He is a right cunt and I used to see the goo nearer rat faced pocket cock guzzling chuff whore in my home town
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:36, Reply)
Where is my live from the lake update?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:27, Reply)
wut?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:28, Reply)
You heard
heard read
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:31, Reply)
soz
it's quiet by the lake, just lots of cigar shaped goose shit
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:33, Reply)
that's just what a gay paedo nonce would say

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:35, Reply)
fuck a norse

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:38, Reply)
That would be an Ulrika moment

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:41, Reply)
i'd still like to destroy every hole even though she's looking worn these days

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:43, Reply)
I would have about 15 years ago nowadays I'd Ragnarok

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:45, Reply)
and she'd be grateful

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:48, Reply)
She should be so Loki, Loki ,Loki

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:49, Reply)
haha
i bet you'd make her thor! ahahahahhhaahahahahhaa!!!
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:50, Reply)
Maybe she should just Frigg herself instead

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:52, Reply)
maybe you could freya good an' proper like

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:56, Reply)
That would make her Mjölnir

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:57, Reply)
hunter was glad he ate her!!!111!!! ahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaaahah!!!

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:50, Reply)
I bet she don't Call him anymore
Call him anymore Collymore
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:54, Reply)
she went to an offy and asked for carlsberg
the shopkeeper said "we've run out, will carling do?"

AHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA etc

oh wait that might have been diana
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:59, Reply)
then fred west said "ooooo i could murder some tenants"
more ahaha etc
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:00, Reply)
Made me laugh anyway
Are we the only cunts on here?
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:00, Reply)
looks that way
first ten members of the only cunts here club get a free badge and activity set
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:10, Reply)
Well fuck that then I'm off to bed

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:11, Reply)
night
edit - NONE TAKEN
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:12, Reply)
somebody pulled the plug on it

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:15, Reply)
I ate dog food

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:24, Reply)
I don't believe in god

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:28, Reply)
Me neither
but I do believe in 70mph Go-kart's. WHICH I'VE JUST BOOKED FOR SATURDAY!

OOSH!
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:52, Reply)
Weekend fun level increased by 10

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:56, Reply)
go carts are shit and for teenage cunts
have fun
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:09, Reply)
Not drunk they're not
I will
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:15, Reply)
I hope you die in a fire

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:23, Reply)
Jealousy will get you no where Mr H
I hope you make sexy times with a beautiful lady, get drunk as fuck and frolic in joyous happy times all weekend :D
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:26, Reply)
what a beautiful sentiment

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:28, Reply)
Indeed I hope your dirty little ill-protruding inebriated worm willy sees all the action it has ever had
IN ONE DAY, and fountains of jizz never cease to erupt from the depths of your shrivelled tired balls as you pound away, over and over again in brain shattering drunken orgasm :D
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:36, Reply)
Or like, the mrs takes you go-karting or something

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:37, Reply)
a ringofyre?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:26, Reply)
alright fucksocks

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:29, Reply)
Alright you sexy fuckpig hows it going?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:56, Reply)
I've never liked olives

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:08, Reply)
or blacks

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:10, Reply)
or fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggots

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:13, Reply)
De ha cu

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:14, Reply)
DONT SIT ON THE FENCE!!!11!!"!!

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:15, Reply)
I wasn't planning to
Those spikes look sharp.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:25, Reply)
Wouldn't want one up yer arse now would ya
Or you might become what you despise.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:46, Reply)
I hope your not inferring that I'm homophobic or something
that would be very disappointing.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:58, Reply)
pffft!

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:14, Reply)
20 black is my go to number for roulette

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:16, Reply)
I like to spread them in annoying patterns to make sure the spinny lass is paying attention.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 19:37, Reply)
I did a swastika once for lulz

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 19:57, Reply)
By rights ... that should be an automatic win.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:14, Reply)
it wasn't very good but I was very drunk, this live from the lake is dead, not a beep

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:18, Reply)
I'm going to watch a film.
I was going to the pub but smyls and I'm fixing a fence tomorrow.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:28, Reply)
most of the time films tire me, yet I can sit looking at a lake for days, odd, probably want to kill my dad and fuck your mum again or saink

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:39, Reply)
domini canis

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 21:11, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 19:44, Reply)
you mean shit

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 20:17, Reply)
that's just what a gay paedo nonce would say

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 21:21, Reply)
Stop buying Tesco Finest

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:11, Reply)
So good to be back at b3ta
With the rest of the mentalists.

Kindred, disturbed spirits.

Here's to you all! May you all be just that!

*fucks off for a long weekend*
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:21, Reply)
Alright
Have you had surgery to reattach your cock?
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:29, Reply)
And how!
Seriously... The doctor needs to know.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:40, Reply)
Fuck you on about white boi?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:00, Reply)
You expect me to know?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 19:01, Reply)
Spaz

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:38, Reply)
hell i like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 21:40, Reply)
I'll let her have it half price.
Free photo on the mustard strokes.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:47, Reply)
i'm going home now
fuck the lot of you
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 16:48, Reply)
You have a lovely Easter as well

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 16:50, Reply)
I'm staying put

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 16:59, Reply)
I'm already at home hur hur dur

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:02, Reply)
Been off all day me :-)
For the past two weeks
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:08, Reply)
I'm staying here until 7
but then its a big party and no work tomorrow...one of the Bulgarians has received his national insurance number, this is always cause for lots of rakia, beer and general partying. yay.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:11, Reply)
bit harsm

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 17:23, Reply)

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