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morning v2
typical dozy yank, barging in without a care for the domestic culture of a place
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:23, Reply)
Halfords special battery, car fired straight up this morning.
85 fucking quid though, knackers.
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:38, Reply)
What Ah/CCA is that?
I only paid 60 quid for a Varta Silver, and that's 77Ah - good enough for a 3.0 V6
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
I'm not sure you'd have got a better deal out of a factors place,
Fucked charged me 45 quid for a bloody 6v motorcycle battery.
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
Morning you all
Bloody cold today like
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:45, Reply)
yer, I had to put on something over my t-shirt now the temps are sub-zero

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
^

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:23, Reply)
5 degrees warmer than when I left home yesterday according to my phone

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:07, Reply)
Hello there everyone.
A good day and glad tidings to all, and to all a good day.
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
who are you and what have you done with Windy Pig?

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:47, Reply)
He's fine. Do not worry about windy pig

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:08, Reply)
^pod person

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Windy Pod

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Hi

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:06, Reply)
alright Rich
did your coat survive the commute?
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:14, Reply)
Yup all good ta

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:22, Reply)
I awoke to merkin talk of hormone filled beef and chlorinated chicken, hmmm

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:12, Reply)
I woke up at 6am for no valid reason whatsoever

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:14, Reply)
Ignore the screaming baby, another 30 mins of rolling around in its own faeces won't kill it

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:21, Reply)
it doesn't do that
really, my eyes just snapped open at 6am and I couldn't get back to sleep. No idea why.
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:25, Reply)
It was morning ... early ... six. Grrrmachine snapped awake instantly. Alert, ready.
Les Christopher lay on his side, his thumb in his mouth, sucking like a baby.

Grrr rose from his bunk. His feet felt the hard cold stone grey floor. Feet that had trod every troublespot in the world. Feet that had tasted a touch of danger. Feet that had seen too much.

A black beetle scuttled across the floor. Instinctively, Grrr crushed it with his heel. It shattered with a satisfying crunch. Grrr smiled ...
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:35, Reply)

Christopher Dawson
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:39, Reply)
T3h m0rn1ng 2.0

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:15, Reply)
l0lzzoRs u R 1337 h4xxz0rs!

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:26, Reply)
hard brexit now

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:34, Reply)
^ wanks over pictures of Theresa May in her leather trousers

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:40, Reply)
now we're talking

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:40, Reply)
I don't even know what kitten heels are but they turn me on

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:44, Reply)

img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-10/7/8/enhanced/webdr14/enhanced-1405-1444221685-1.png
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:48, Reply)
I had to change tights today because I got a ladder as I stepped out of the door
#justwomenthings
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Tought life being a transvestite window cleaner

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:59, Reply)
thumb

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:40, Reply)
up or down?
I need to know if I should execute these slaves
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
up for today

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:51, Reply)
how far?

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
inch
inch and half if I really strain
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:55, Reply)
There is zero evidence for the whole thumbs up = live, thumbs down = die Roman gladiatorial combat thing, fact fans.

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
you'd think they'd have left a note or something, instead of leaving us to guess

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 9:04, Reply)
they just took it from that painting by Gerome, right?

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 9:05, Reply)
Good Morning
My banana is cold and my coffee is hot.
(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 9:00, Reply)
Good midnight to all

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 7:19, Reply)
morning

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 6:49, Reply)
woodkovsky thinks there should be a new thread
but what do you think? should there be? and if so, light or dark grey?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:30, Reply)
Dunno like.
Work's sending me to staines next week vlad. Where shouldn't I stay.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:33, Reply)
staines, wow, I have no relevant information to offer, so instead have these fascinating facts about early staines
Evidence of neolithic settlement has been found at Yeoveney on Staines Moor. There has been a crossing of the River Thames at Staines since Roman times. The emperor Claudius invaded Britain in ad 43. Staines was settled the same year. Do you think Claudius said something along the lines of, in Rome the Eternal City, born and raised, in the senate was where I spent most of my days...etc blah...I looked at my kingdom I was finally there, so I thought I'd better get down to staines and settle it asap it's only fair etc etc etc
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:41, Reply)
I see nobody wishes to chat about the early history of staines

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:05, Reply)
would have been pretty handy for heathrow, mind

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 8:23, Reply)
If you fished and had a bivvy I could help

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:51, Reply)
I've only ever stayed at the Thorpe Shark hotel in staines
It was okay, they didn't even have sharks tho
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:57, Reply)
any helicopters

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:58, Reply)
Did have staines **

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:02, Reply)
I'd like to see something posted in that 4 pixel stripe, just for a change.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:34, Reply)
so raise that 4 pixel stripe on high, for the board of the free
and the home of the grey
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:43, Reply)

i.imgur.com/gdIBLcN.gif
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:01, Reply)
:-D :-D :-D
*salutes*
*single patriotic tear leaks out of eye, down face and onto floor*
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:07, Reply)
x

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:35, Reply)
Hindus are nice ain't they Vlad , eh,the good guys yeah , don't hurt naink

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:52, Reply)
alright mongy
I am with bill bailey on this one, who mentioned something from the Rigveda, which by the magic of internet I can now source as
"Who verily knows and who can here declare it, whence it was born and whence comes this creation?
The Gods are later than this world's production. Who knows then whence it first came into being?
He, the first origin of this creation, whether he formed it all or did not form it,
Whose eye controls this world in highest heaven, he verily knows it, or perhaps he knows not."

How great is that, 'yeah he might know - and then again, you know what, he might not know.' Anything that is that chilled has to be mainly OK right?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:58, Reply)
That's no fruity at all :(

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:01, Reply)
:-( soz
how about this then, I just read about Gorden Kaye, and when I read this, " Born in Huddersfield in 1941, Kaye described himself in his autobiography as a “shy, gay and overweight boy” who turned to acting to help his self-confidence. " I said to myself 'WHAAT?! But what about all of those waitresses?!' TL:DR - vlad: sometimes a bit thick
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:04, Reply)
I'm not sure.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:59, Reply)
Major Turd's sure
what do you think about that then
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:04, Reply)
Delete this thread immediately

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:02, Reply)
d'awwww

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:04, Reply)
I'm off now xoxoxoxox

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 23:08, Reply)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:01, Reply)
I'm not sure how you think this thread is going to turn out, but it's not the *most* promising start I've ever seen.
I don't mean to sound harsh but mates can be honest with each other, can't they?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:08, Reply)
I agree. I was just venting my elation.
someone should definitely start a new thread.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:19, Reply)
sounds romantic!
count me in!
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:22, Reply)
I hope that AT-AT with Pluto's face gets more than 5 mins this time

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 22:24, Reply)
punch nazis in the face

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:20, Reply)
black lace finally take a stand against le pen

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:32, Reply)
Haha

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:38, Reply)
I had intended superman but this kind of works with agadoo as well, good toimes

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:49, Reply)
why would black lace take a stand agaisnt superman?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:54, Reply)
Ubermensch!

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:22, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:29, Reply)
My grandad found shooting them easier

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:35, Reply)
yeah well my granddad used to drop incediaries on em,
his bomber got knocked out the sky though so i've got a fucking score to settle, sadly i'm not as well equipped so i'll have to make do
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:38, Reply)
Mine was never bitter about the germans , he just felt hitler stole his youth

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:43, Reply)
course nowadays you'd just get another off ebay

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:45, Reply)
There's no granddad's for sale on ebay :( reported to the mods

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:47, Reply)
you're not looking in the right places

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:48, Reply)
I don't want some falklands ,I want world war

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:49, Reply)
It's alright for you. I could probably still be called up if it's going badly.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:09, Reply)
yeah well them nazis'll be stealing our kids youths as well if we let 'em,
german or otherwise

fucking bellends
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:48, Reply)
I've got 2 kids , they've never mentioned nazis or that their youth is being stolen , they do hate Jews tho, nature / nurture, who knows

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:52, Reply)
fuck sounds like i need to punch your kids

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:53, Reply)
That would be like punching kids who hate Scientology, you need anger management, the Pope has wise words

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:55, Reply)
no it wouldn't,
you need analogy management
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:56, Reply)
Would it be like punching black kids then ?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:58, Reply)
no.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:59, Reply)
Would it be like punching aborigines?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:00, Reply)
No.
Nazis are not a race. It is not like punching anyone on account of being a member of a race.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:02, Reply)
ahem, "master"

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:03, Reply)
THANK YOU

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:24, Reply)
So nothern Ireland yeah, India , every fucking war of religion going on right now, hating the Jews is just that, people did it before hitler

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:10, Reply)
ok ok not everyone who hates jews is literally a nazi,
it's still not on though, and it's how people get recruited
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:14, Reply)
It's not on at all, as I said my 2 kids are very Nazi free, I am, and pretty much everywhere I go is , might get a big fuck off gun tho due to this thread

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:18, Reply)
yeah good idea,
shoot some nazis
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:19, Reply)
Is that anyone who hates anyone then ?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:21, Reply)
nah it's not people who hate nazis, obv,
or that would get awkward
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:21, Reply)
So Russia is safe, cool , china too , sweet ,

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:23, Reply)
i hope China is on our side in WW3 tbh

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:26, Reply)
putting flowers in gun barrels doesn't stop the user shooting you afterwards

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:22, Reply)
Fighting intolerance with violence seems a bit intolerant. Can't say I'm going to be too upset about Nazi's getting tumped up though

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:01, Reply)
It's children ffs , she's hitting children, lucky they are mine and it'll only inforced the hatred , nice one mgt

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:04, Reply)
I was talking in general, not specifically mgt hypothetically punching your kids.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:05, Reply)
yeah good point.
i should be hitting you, really, it's your fault if you bring up a pair of nazis, sort it out mate
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:05, Reply)
poor doris vinyard

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:46, Reply)

felt joined stole his
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:29, Reply)
don't want them dirty islams coming over here in leaky boats, being given council mansions when my wife has popped out 6 now and still on the list, molesting our daughters because it's socially acceptable in burkaburkaland, talking foreign on street corne
rs, opening skleps, just generally being brown all over the place, enoch was right
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 19:54, Reply)
😗👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:14, Reply)

Fuck it
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:19, Reply)
's okay, google sorted it out, appreciated

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:21, Reply)
Everyone please click this, mongy's finest ever post, for posterity. Or at least a couple of days on the PP.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 20:56, Reply)
Done and done, and I mean done.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:02, Reply)
fully automated luxury communism now

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:33, Reply)
fully automatic nazi-punching machine

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:35, Reply)
link fail. lol.
i.redditmedia.com/fcqRwFGzBWaQCEmLEHGi0UbrdF1dMoLicoQyOadQ8hg.jpg?w=623&s=5823d73d6083d198b79d5566da1bafaa
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:35, Reply)
YES

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 21:36, Reply)
Pack up your desk and go home.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:27, Reply)
Fuck you, I've had the sack from better jobs than this one you ginger nacker

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:29, Reply)
Security will be here shortly to remove you, or you can go with some dignity.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:34, Reply)
I fucking torch this place with you all in it , I fucking hate you all

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Please calm down Mr. Chops

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:12, Reply)
Snake charmer

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:14, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:51, Reply)
I would love to
No booze til Thurs is the plan this week. Fortunately I bought £30 of mediocre weed on Saturday (for £40) which will make this an easier prospect.

I don't half fancy some wine though
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:38, Reply)
I've had a proper prangy hangover all day after being on the piss all weekend.
I'm hoping a couple of beers fixes it. Tapering off if you will.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:41, Reply)
The biggest thing I found when I gave up drinking was I had to replace the sugar and not get hungry, I stopped completely tho

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:43, Reply)
I'm just trying to have a few days off a week if not every week then every other week
If I fail, then hey ho, no worse than before.

But I feel much better today having only drunk beer yesterday and no wine. This is my brother's strategy and he's cut a good 70 units a week off his consumption. The thing is I really do love a good wine.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:47, Reply)
Can't hurt can it

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:51, Reply)
I'm off the booze in the week unless were out for dinner or something.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:12, Reply)
Good for you , we were all worried

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:45, Reply)
It's your concern that gives me the strength to be the person I know you want me to be.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:49, Reply)
I'm glad he's attempting to heed his doctors advice.
Although come to think of it I usually get a bottle of red when I want to stay in and not get twatted.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Nah M8.
Still got an hour to go.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:56, Reply)
I don't fancy yours much

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:05, Reply)
liar

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:08, Reply)
You heard me.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 18:11, Reply)
Well I said I would delete it, what a load of shit
Se'sly though, thanks to Godby for helping me fix my coat.

That coat is one of the best deals I've got, it's absolutely top quality, goose down with real fur hood, bought in NY in the sales about 20 years ago for what ended up being £97 with the exchange rate. A £400-500 coat.

What's a really good deal or what's the best deal you've had?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:33, Reply)
The best deal I ever got was a pair of dunks for free.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:35, Reply)
That's hard to beat

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:36, Reply)
Still got them as well, bloody comfy.
Tempted to get another pair for smart.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:40, Reply)
I got a full-length leather trenchcoat from Leadenhall St Market for £50 when the bloke wanted £150 for it.
He was in the process of packing up and going home and I (truthfully) said I didn't have that much cash on me and would have to go to the cash machine, which he interpreted as haggling. I wasn't about to correct him.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:36, Reply)
Did it come.with a fedora?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:41, Reply)
m'lady

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:42, Reply)

yeti in his prime
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Lol.
Bonus marks for showing my devotion to studying the blade.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:47, Reply)
It did not.
It did, however, make more people yell "Matrix!" at me in the street than could ever be construed amusing.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:43, Reply)
The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:44, Reply)

The matrix SuperMatt
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:01, Reply)
tru dat

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:05, Reply)
i've had loads of good deals, managed to haggle 1p off rrp on a watch once

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
nice

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:40, Reply)
i had my first go on a hoverboard saturday, i'm well cool

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:48, Reply)
Those things have 'injured Richard' written all over them, I won't go near 'em

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:03, Reply)
i felt the same but i'd had a couple of pints and the kids were flying about on it, i done about 3 meters and jumped off a champion

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:07, Reply)
there
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/R374GW1SY11ZT2/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B01KK40X34
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:33, Reply)
pfff

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:46, Reply)
and now gordon kaye has died, makes you think

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:57, Reply)
defo was him

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
Fur is murder.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:37, Reply)
furreal

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:41, Reply)
Faux fur is murder, too.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:50, Reply)
You're both wrong, murder is murder
Fur is fur
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:51, Reply)
Depends on the circumstances
All's fur in love and war
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
I get a bit cross about the whole "meat is murder" nonsense,
given that you cannot, by definition, murder an animal.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:32, Reply)
I get a bit cross about the whole "meat is murder" nonsense,
Because I like to take the path of least resistance to my bacon sandwich and other meat based dishes
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
I think there are legitimate animal welfare concerns that need to be addressed,
but meat is part of my diet, and I'm unwilling to change that.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:49, Reply)
^ this
I don't mind people eating / not eating whatever they want, but it seems unfair that the vegan army get to put up bus stop adverts about how the cutesy little chickies get killed at birth, and yet we don't have a counter argument sign that says something like "Roast chicken. It's reet good."
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:09, Reply)
i think kfc have that angle covered for us

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:11, Reply)
I got on the tube wearing it once
Unfortunately the whole carriage was filled with people on their way back from some animal rights process. One of them shouted 'let the animal wear it, man'.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:00, Reply)
"Thanks, mate!"

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:04, Reply)
I actually said 'it's a bit late for this one' and then got off at the next stop because I'm a coward

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:09, Reply)
You should have suggested you'd merely shaved the animal
and that it was currently running around your organic free range animal commune having been only momentarily disadvantaged.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:23, Reply)
It's a racoon tail hood trim, that would not have worked

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:28, Reply)
Hm.
I can see the issue.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
were they stupid enough to believe that raccoons shed their tails and regrow them?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)
They were stupid enough to go on an animal rights march I suppose

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)

Thanks, Nice chips
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:11, Reply)

down step
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:38, Reply)
£10 ham for 50p

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:39, Reply)
That's lunch sorted.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:03, Reply)
UK passport for a tenner

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:46, Reply)
18 double decker chocolate bars £3.00 instore @ LIDL

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:49, Reply)
^ this gets my vote

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:50, Reply)
it's the small ones though

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:51, Reply)
:(
So its really 9 then
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:52, Reply)
Not a very good deal for £3 then

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
33p a bar. These days you can barely get a freddo for that.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:07, Reply)
I am a bit out of touch with the whole chocolate bar scene these days, Gray

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:10, Reply)
As a reference Tesco do a mix and match 3 for £1.20 as a special offer
I think they're verging on the 60 - 80p mark
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
freddo's are only 25p

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:23, Reply)
Freddo < Taz < Chomp

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:27, Reply)
not a huge toffee fan
but i do still like the occasional freddo
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
I'd always get a Taz over a Freddo
Rather have caramel than a block of chocolate
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:44, Reply)
you can get caramel freddo's now
same price as the normal ones. i haven't got much of a sweet tooth, so just a bit of chocolate does me
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:15, Reply)
heat added

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:51, Reply)
have some heat

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
heated

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
dubs checked

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:54, Reply)
and they're gay ones as well
4s it looks like one guy poking another erect guy in the bum
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:55, Reply)
Ban this sick filth

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:46, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:06, Reply)
crate of mango and lemon one cal for £1
i love that stuff
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:10, Reply)
Sounds rather nice, mango is god tier fruit

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:17, Reply)
i got addicted to the stuff years ago
can't find it now for love nor money
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:24, Reply)
My sick tastes of mangos.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:44, Reply)
M-A-N-G-O-E-S

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
Ottawan-go
Ottamango? Hmm.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
I typed that, but my phone didn't like it.
American English, maybe?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:07, Reply)
it was a Gwen Stefani gag, wasn't telling you off

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:52, Reply)
stop puking mangoes, then

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:14, Reply)

p f
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:16, Reply)
fuking?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:29, Reply)
Yeah fuck it, close enough

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 17:12, Reply)
I got a £900 amplifier off work for free
That weren't bad. Brand new in packaging.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:25, Reply)
That is nine hundred nicker in any shop you're lucky enough to find one in, and you're complaining about two hundred?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
#film

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
I'm glad you explained that

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
You may not have needed the explanation
but many of these poor devils aren't as into film as what you and I is, Richard.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Ì liked the one where the man did a jog and then got punched by the other man

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
are you still buying records?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:31, Reply)
Now and again, yeah.
I must have, ooo, at least eight by now.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:35, Reply)
ffs

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
It might be more, I don't know.
To count them I'd have to move the sofa and look down the back of the bookcase. Effort.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Say what you like about our ability to fire a missile in the right direction
but "Vengeance" is a good name for a nuclear deterrent submarine.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:41, Reply)
It really is

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:49, Reply)
I thought you might appreciate
naval naming conventions. Warspite is probably my favourite of the famous names.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
Gonna petition them to rename it 'Nukey McNukeface'

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:00, Reply)
My £130 chinese dual boot windows/android tablet. It's bloody brilliant, Dell can go fuck themselves.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:57, Reply)
happy to help you or any of my forum chums m8

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:59, Reply)
Fat lot of help you were with my dead laptop

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:00, Reply)
I offered loads of help, but you whinged and moaned so I gave up

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:07, Reply)
also bought an unused engine crane, rrp 350, for 100
cos the mechanics went bankrupt before getting a single customer
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:04, Reply)
I got a brand-new HiFi valve amp
and a pair of 1978 Gale GS401 speakers from work. Free. I had to replace the bass units but they are phenomenal things.
listeninn.com/Pictures-Used/Used-Speakers/Gale-GS401-1.jpg
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:14, Reply)
Things that arrived at my desk today:
Fan Heater
5-thp
Micro USB cables
64gb Micro SD card
PP Arold LP
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:21, Reply)
to take the edge off your comedowns?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Just to see if they make me a little less of a curmudgeon really.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:29, Reply)
Jesus dying for our sins

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 16:43, Reply)
After Noon thread.
Lunch woes?
Anything happening this week?

Im staying at a lovely welsh Chateau on Saturday.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:42, Reply)
I forgot to make my work lunch yesterday due to too much blazing it and playing The Last of Us and Psychonauts
so now I'm at the mercy of whatever the work canteen decides to lightly heat through - Medium rare chicken ahoy!
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:44, Reply)
One microwave for the entire floor to share.
This office is bullshit.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:46, Reply)
lol gutted
everyone wants to reheat their slop from last night. I bet it stinks the kitchen out as well.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:46, Reply)
There's always one bellend who looks at an office microwave and thinks 'I know, I could microwave some mackerel in that'.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
As a rule if I make something with fish and bring some into work for lunch I eat it cold
It's a cardinal sin, and one worth bringing hanging back for, to microwave fish in a public place
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:55, Reply)

c s
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
People keep having the stinkiest fish meals here.
Sort of stuff that goes off overnight in the bin.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
Someone once let a bag of prawns go off in the fridge here then dumped them in the kitchen bin.
Smell lingered for weeks.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
they should build a really big one and call it
MACROWAVE!
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:50, Reply)
There's a bit in an early episode of Millennium where a bloke gets shut in a massive microwave, and is lightly cooked.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:07, Reply)
You remember that series V in the 80s?
The lizard people? I remember they put one buff and oiled young man (oiled for culinary reasons, not to show off his fine physique as was manacled & blindfolded) in this device and microwaved him.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Jane Badler, eh lads , eh?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:34, Reply)
Probably on after my bedtime.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:39, Reply)
nice quads

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:40, Reply)
+lats +delts

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:57, Reply)
don't you work for the nhs?
I'm not paying my taxes to heat up your depressing lunch
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:13, Reply)
exactly
they shouldn't have a fridge either. They should keep food cold by wrapping it in cling film and placing it in the toilet cistern.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
Might as well - the toilets are blocked, so they're no good for anything else.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:23, Reply)
you have to shit on other people's shit?
nice
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:27, Reply)
I might start making regular visits to Two Hats' lawn.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:29, Reply)
One of my pals was an on-call plumber for the council.
You'd be surprised how many people, when faced with a blocked bog, will take to filling the bath with water and crapping in that.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:30, Reply)
I'd rather do what my dad does when he goes fishing
shit in a carrier bag
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:31, Reply)
My old landlord got a couple of Chinese lads who spoke no English to retile the bathroom.
I woke up on the saturday hungover and desperate for a shit and had to gun the car to Sainsburys.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Chateau'd myself once

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:46, Reply)
My child needs passports
Polish one costs 25 quid
British one costs 130 quid.

Is the UK one signed with eagle's blood or summink?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:49, Reply)
No they don't godby

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
they do once you factor in all the embassy bollocks

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:03, Reply)

imgur.com/vBlmmqy
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
No that's wrong it's whatever grrry says apparently

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:15, Reply)
Maybe he's factoring in his hourly rate while he fills in the online forms.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:16, Reply)
The cost of renewing my Irish passport is about 800 quid once I have a week in Dublin on the piss

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:18, Reply)
One of my dublin mates was telling me about one of the pubs near him.
Apparently it's full of old men sat in stoic silence watching only fools and horses.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:25, Reply)
The passport fee is what it is , whatever other bollox you pay for is up to you

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:06, Reply)
If I don't have a choice in paying it, then it's part of the passport cost, which is what I said
your troll fu has weakened of late, mongy
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:11, Reply)
Err no you lied about the cost of a UK passport

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:14, Reply)
The cost is more than a single fee, bellend

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
So this bit ' Is the UK one signed with eagle's blood or summink?' was alluding to what exactly? It read as if you were saying the passport itself was expensive, which we now all know it isn't

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Looking at the best part of £300 to furnish my family with passports.
Starting to regret offering to take them abroad, now.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:28, Reply)
mine expires soon
fancy chipping in?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Sure.
Gaz me your bank details.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:41, Reply)
sure

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:45, Reply)
I'd get it done soon incase grrry raises the price to 10 grand

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:41, Reply)
too late
it's already £121,000 :(
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:46, Reply)
Move to Poland they pay you a million pound to have a passport now, Britain is so shit and rubbish

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:48, Reply)
#grrrexit

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:51, Reply)
It's all the biometric gubbins in it.
American passports actually have an eagle on one of the pages. It's lol.

www.foreigndocuments.com/images/samples/passport_usa_orig.jpg
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
Economics innit, there's not so much demand for Polish passports these days

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:56, Reply)
And the fact he's making it up, an adult UK passport isn't that much

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:59, Reply)
Not if you're British, no

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Oh is he getting his kid a black market one, makes sense the 130 now

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Eagles are much more Polish than British.
Cheap Polish eagles, coming over here, stealing our passports, etc. etc.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
You'll need another one once we leave the EU

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:59, Reply)
they'll just scrub out the EU bits with permanent marker next time I enter the country

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:11, Reply)
Not having lunch, it gives you cancer.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Yeah, but if you don't eat you don't shit.
And if you don't shit, you die.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
Only if you burn it.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:00, Reply)
fake news

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:03, Reply)
Bockwurst they called it.
Was just like a fancy hotdog.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
fuckin' krauts

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Brexit means bockwurst

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:03, Reply)
I consider myself to be fairly au fait with Germanic sausage
and I've never tried a bockwurst.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:58, Reply)
That would be spelled
Siato
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
needs more double ells

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:30, Reply)

Siato Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:34, Reply)
That would be spelllllllled
Siato.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 13:43, Reply)
still on the morning thread eh?
Zip chat proved surprisingly popular and monster munch, surprisingly, seems concerned about earning your scorn.
I wonder what other surprises are in store.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
itchy bum, surprise to come
/ac
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
2 Hats will pull of his scary mask to reveal he is the janitor
and has been trying to scare people away from the board so he can turn it into a hotel.

And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky kids.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:17, Reply)
you never know, it might be more successful as a hotel

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)

hotel motel
motel holiday iiiiinn
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)

holiday iiiiinn
bawdy flop-house
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Maybe the World's Fair Hotel if anything

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
I'm looking forward to everybody's #fooddancing anecdotes

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:23, Reply)
*pours scorn*

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
My worst fear, realised!

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:30, Reply)
*scores porn*

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
My second worst fear is that you'll score the porn with me in it,
then use that as a reason to pour further scorn.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
Scorn Poured on Poorest Porn Scored

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)
Well, we could tell you, but then they wouldn't be surprises and the effect would be lost.
Just like surprise anal.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
this modern day obsession with bumholes is lost on me

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Especially when folk have them bleached.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
that's just common courtesy

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
oh I do that, but it's not really a sex thing

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:40, Reply)
Who you flashing your brown eye to?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:43, Reply)
it's not brown

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)
Domestos enema?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)

i.imgur.com/f7P0I.gif
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I've got a surprisingly dull bit of car news.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:29, Reply)
this is not surprising

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:30, Reply)
You've bought a Nissan Micra?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:31, Reply)
Worse. I'm going to buy a volvo.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)
is the surprise that it is a volvo or that car news is dull?
or perhaps it is that I am engaging with dull car chat?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
It's surprising in all the ways you want it to be.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:48, Reply)
Once you get into your thirties, Volvo ownership becomes eminently acceptable.
Good for lugging horseboxes, too.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:40, Reply)
This is it.
A nice auto XC90 will suit me for everyday and pull a horsebox with 2 on board. Can ditch the defender and the freelander and come out with a couple grand to spare, then maybe buy a more fun little shit heap classic to poot about in
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:47, Reply)
I support this decision
Shame it's an auto, but then again rowing through the gears when towing can't be much fun.

You'll need that spare few grand for fuel though.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
It's a semi auto box, so can drop gears for downhill and uphill sorts.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:51, Reply)
That's handy. My only experience of auto's is when I rented one in Iceland. Having to ride the brakes down mountains wasn't much fun.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
Sound choice, Windy, old fellow.
Get yourself a nice pair of driving gloves, while you're at it.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Good idea.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:51, Reply)
I managed to get through my 30s without ever owning a volvo

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:58, Reply)
Lol old

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:00, Reply)
show some respect, sonny

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:07, Reply)
They're not compulsory.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:04, Reply)
me too m8

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:11, Reply)
I'm not sure you'd have got much use out of one.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:24, Reply)
I've not owned a volvo, but had a Saab in my late 20's.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
Jesus is my vehicle

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Love is my seatbelt

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:50, Reply)
Barabbas is my helmit

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:11, Reply)
Moab is my washpot.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:13, Reply)
Ahura Mazda is my hoover.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:43, Reply)
willy willy bum bum

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:37, Reply)
willy willy bum bum

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:37, Reply)
this second post surprised me

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:39, Reply)
I felt it had to be said again

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
it's the second "willy" that did it for me

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I hear that.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:54, Reply)
Caused the prolapse?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
The names bum-bum.
William bum-bum.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:38, Reply)
no we aren't

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:21, Reply)
good point

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 12:30, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 7:06, Reply)
Grrrmachine

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 7:07, Reply)
Windy Pig
*manly nod*
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 7:11, Reply)
nod up or nod down?
unless you're Indian
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:44, Reply)
Off to my new office, and the exciting hotdesk experience, today.
"Agile working".
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 7:48, Reply)
I use agile, still don't have to put up with that hotdesk bollocks
Is the office in a new town, or just a new room in the same old place?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Moving back to the building next door, where I was 2 years ago.
They're cramming two building's worth of people into one, which is sure to end well - my plan is to spend less time in the office.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:59, Reply)
In other news
I got a Digispark working yesterday. Cost less than 2 quid, and might make a good little toy for your kids.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Looks similar to the bit.
Lost by desk booking, this morning, so had to move to a different desk. Sharing keyboards and mice with the rest of the office is a great way to pick up other people's crumbs. :(
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:36, Reply)
Also, what did you use the digispark for?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:39, Reply)
Shoved it inside the cockpit of a Lego train
Powered it straight off the lego battery, and it drives a single IR led to control the train using lego's standard Power Functions commands. Gonna add on a 433Mhz wifi board so that I can control the train remotely


lol cock
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:44, Reply)
Top quality nerding, here.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
At the risk of earning the scorn of my /talk peers,
I think that's brilliant.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
All the mornings of the world

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:01, Reply)
don't go overboard m8, we only need one

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:06, Reply)
You're 'avin a laarf right?
I got a truck full of mornings here that I need shot of. Somebody in logistics has fucked up big time
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:13, Reply)
probably some bulgarian, a brexit victory would have sorted this

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:15, Reply)
That's easy for you to say, sunshine.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:09, Reply)
I can say bon matin, dzien dobry and bongiorno as well

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:13, Reply)
PASTA SAUCE CHAT

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:15, Reply)
DOLMIO AS FUCK

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:13, Reply)
RAGÚD MORNING.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:30, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ct7Ke_vH_vU
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
morning
The zip's just come off my coat. 2 days after I spent £28 on dry cleaning it and having a pocket repaired :(((
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:13, Reply)
No coincidence m8
The cleaning solvents might have weakened it. Has the whole zipper strip come off, or just the bit that you move up and down?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:17, Reply)
Just the slidy bit
Doesn't seem damaged in any way
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:45, Reply)
The jaws sometimes come apart ever so slightly, and that allows them to fall off the zip
Pop it back on and squeeze the jaws together with a pair of pliers. Had to it on one of my old coats.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:50, Reply)
might make the dry cleaner do it seeing as I noticed that he only did part of the repair job I paid for
doddery old prick


Thanks for the tip though. Not sure about the 'popping it back on' bit - been trying that all the way here on the train.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Step 1: don't be a permanently inebriated fatfingered spastic

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:57, Reply)
There's no way of 'popping it on' both sides of the teeth and the mechanism itself are all fine
There's nowhere to 'pop' anything.

+ps you cheeky cunt
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:03, Reply)
pop it like a food dancer, m8

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:04, Reply)
If only, m8

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:17, Reply)
You should be able to slide it on from the bottom of the side that it's permanently fixed to
If not, you've got problems I just can't fix, Richard.

you might need a flat bladed screwdriver to prise the jaws open, then slide it on, then press them closed again with pliers.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:13, Reply)
You mean on the sliding bit, right?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Indeep's clothing alterations sideline fell flat quite quickly

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:21, Reply)
Could be worse m8, you could have shit up it.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:57, Reply)
Mornholes

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:19, Reply)
alright horbo
I've missed your holes
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:27, Reply)
hey hun how r u? xx

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:30, Reply)
not bad thanks
how r u? xxx
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
damn
thought I was in there
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:28, Reply)
sun's shining, I cleaned my desk, coffee's in my vbelly
it's a good start to the week
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:43, Reply)
roll it

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
Last thing I rolled was a Bedford CF2 van on the M1
not doing that again
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:44, Reply)
you walked away though
not many do
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:46, Reply)
I crawled back in three times to rescue my gear as well
before possibly fainting in a petrol station
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:50, Reply)
hope you torched it afterwards

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:53, Reply)
the tow truck vultures swooped on it in 20 minutes
and tried to make me pay double its value for the privilege. I told them to scrap it.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 8:58, Reply)
Monday
Battery on the car dead again. Couldn't jump it, no taxis available, had to get the mrs out of bed to give me a lift.

GOOD DAY SO FAR.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
My sympathies
Cold weather killed the battery in my car, and when I phoned the supplier for a new one they laughed at the paltry size of the one fitted. I've never been battery-shamed before.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:02, Reply)
I fucked mine up a couple of weeks back by leaving the foglights on.
My own fault, of course. Bit me in the arsehole now, ain't it.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
Buy trickle charger for 20 quid,
Keep battery charged.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:03, Reply)
Just going to replace the battery, tbh.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:03, Reply)
I bet one's a bit smaller than the other so they look wonky

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:09, Reply)
I'd like to see them in a row

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Good lord
it could freeze the nuts off a cornetto out there...

M-m-m-m-m-m-or-r-r-rning!!
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:17, Reply)
morning garidead
what temps have you got?
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:18, Reply)
I think minus 3
definitely the coldest day of the year so far, there's a layer of frost on the velux upstairs which hasn't happened before!

EDIT: just checked with the met office and London got down to -6, it was -2 when I left home.
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Morning. Just spend 59p on a packet of ginger nut biscuits and now the news is saying they give you cancer. Pricks.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:45, Reply)
Everything gives you cancer
I'll have them if you don't want them
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
^
Also ginger is really good for you, but too much will give you cancer.

Chop and replace "ginger" with literally anything
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Semen?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:10, Reply)
Full of protein
Good for after a heavy workout
(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
But too much will give you cancer.

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
tggi

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Mornholes!!

(, Mon 23 Jan 2017, 10:57, Reply)
Ural ghey

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 21:15, Reply)
YOU MASSIVE BENDER

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 21:26, Reply)
I ham just ordered a curry
And I ham watching Designated Survivor.

HAM!
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 21:44, Reply)
lol, ham is bare jokes, bruv

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 21:51, Reply)
Edgy shit bro

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 21:56, Reply)
is everyone excited and all ready for their monday to start?

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 22:43, Reply)
it's OK I'll wait, just the minute you feel excited about your monday that's nearly here for you to enjoy, just go right ahead and shout up

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 23:09, Reply)
Herro

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 15:06, Reply)
Er ...
www.facebook.com/lynn.ann.169
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 15:12, Reply)
?

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 15:34, Reply)

Bit obsessed
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)
Bum licker

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 16:22, Reply)
^ Snow

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Just been to see that film Split
where James McAvoy has 26 different personalities. It's a big pile of stinking dog poo. Don't bother. 2/10
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 16:26, Reply)
hi

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 16:52, Reply)
Hi Smash Monkey
What's for dinner?
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:02, Reply)
just a bit of roast chicken
still bloated from eating leftover risotto earlier
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:08, Reply)
I'm having a curry
put 3 stone on since xmas :(
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:09, Reply)
not sure what i've lost
but i had to pull my pants up twice on the way here! :D
(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:15, Reply)
Alright

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:07, Reply)
sundayning, mongy

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:30, Reply)
Alright woody

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 18:01, Reply)
Hi there super dudes.

(, Sun 22 Jan 2017, 17:35, Reply)

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