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So.
Are you all vaping and wearing fedoras now? Next you'll be buying knee-length leather coats and starting every sentence with "Actually..."
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:38, Reply)
Starting threads with 'so' is, like, so the most turdally simullur thing?
To what you're, like, objecting to?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:46, Reply)
Is it now?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:50, Reply)
brb, off for some £6 rice krispies with strawberry milk
#yogfadodo
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:48, Reply)
Vaping is for pussies.
i.imgur.com/ij4h6V2.jpg
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:52, Reply)
My new hat is very similar
Maybe we should form a club
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:53, Reply)
The Tea And Grrry Exclusive Awesome Hat Club.
I like it.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:54, Reply)
I don't understand why crap affectations always have to be the same as other people's crap affectations

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:57, Reply)
Affectation? I actually just really like that hat.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:03, Reply)
Is it?
because this looks pretty cool.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 22:39, Reply)
I guess that is quite cool.
On the other hand, I've had sex with a real live woman, which is quite cool too.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:02, Reply)
You know the rules. Anyone who brags about sex online, has never had sex.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:25, Reply)
Aww, shoot!

(, Sat 7 May 2016, 1:03, Reply)
that's how I imagine the gargoyles on york minster looked when it went up

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:02, Reply)
^ OOOOLD

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:04, Reply)
Wow u have belittled me big time

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 22:38, Reply)
I think you should call him outside to settle this mano-a-mano, Internet Hardman Dave.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:04, Reply)
I'll decorate saink with his face, rip mortal wombat

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:06, Reply)
vaping looks really silly

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 22:59, Reply)
It really does

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:08, Reply)
mongy <3

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:22, Reply)
Actually, yes

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:54, Reply)

Actually... Flick! The Gestapo.
'Ning The LOVELY Zouwan.
'Ning /talk. I'm just about to go to bed.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 23:56, Reply)
<3 HELGA

(, Sat 7 May 2016, 0:14, Reply)
T3h 1nt3rw3bz0rz

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:08, Reply)
Careful this kinda posting got me stepped by that mod prick.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:17, Reply)
5h1t

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:28, Reply)
Hopefully m4n0l1th will cut me some of t3h 5l4ck

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:39, Reply)
5d56032b79f1e6d9192b08e0001155843867768e
You can probably work this one out
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 22:34, Reply)
B&

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:18, Reply)
Bethany Bollocks

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:29, Reply)
B3th4ny b0110ck5

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 21:35, Reply)
blaze it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:20, Reply)
Would that it were, SS

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:23, Reply)
Ahh, would that it were

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:33, Reply)
Tish and - indeed - pish

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:42, Reply)

youtu.be/npvQ3M3WaPA
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 18:25, Reply)
we are but lovers in different times

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:33, Reply)
lol butt lovers

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:35, Reply)
disgusting

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:35, Reply)
I'm a 'butt fighter' not a 'butt lover'

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:42, Reply)
you'll be both and like it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:46, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/board/7479826
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:47, Reply)
I think this Hugh Bonneville chap might have started a craze.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:15, Reply)
is it ok if i have a wee first i'm busting

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:25, Reply)
i'm gonna wet myself at this rate

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
Urinary incontinence is Internet Hardman Dave's only weakness.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:31, Reply)
its why i dont get invited to b4shes anymore

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:33, Reply)
yes, soz

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:33, Reply)
phew, my winky was starting to spaz from the pressure

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
little scamps
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14476875.12_year_old_stabbed_in_knife_fight_in_Crofton_Park/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:43, Reply)
christ

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:46, Reply)
fuck's sake

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:48, Reply)
Aw, they grow up so fast.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:04, Reply)
they won't grow up much more than that, though

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:05, Reply)
Our neighbours kid got a full armed response unit on his case,
after pretending to stab his mate with a toy knife, outside Asda. Not the wisest move in the aftermath of a copper getting done in the week before.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:09, Reply)
Hmm. That's not far from me.
A yout was stabbed to death down the road just a couple of weeks ago. Very upsetting. The police tape across the road meant I had to take a different cycle route.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:44, Reply)
Oh god, you poor thing!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:53, Reply)
Ever go in the chandos?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 18:12, Reply)
We have no Chandos in this part of London
I'm afraid
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 18:24, Reply)
56 brokley rise mate, just up from the Jack

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 18:40, Reply)
Shit he's only just recovered from dying, I hope he hasn't gone in the dos

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 19:21, Reply)
Great, and now I've been sacked
FFSSS
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:26, Reply)
blaze erry day now

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
Fair point
#boldlydankewherenoonehasdankedbefore
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:36, Reply)
on it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 17:34, Reply)
Good codeine buzz going on now, might smoke a pipe in a sec.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:16, Reply)
drugs are for looser's

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:29, Reply)
Poppers are for looser bumholes, this is true.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:30, Reply)

s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/84237/1462563492/popperpirate.jpg
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:38, Reply)
buggeroo

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:39, Reply)
rattle me boner

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:39, Reply)
erect 4

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 20:39, Reply)
Hullo /talk board
It's me, Richard. How's it going?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:04, Reply)
3 more hours of work to go
Time seems to have stood still :(
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:04, Reply)
Only two left for me and then I'm off to the boozer :D

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:06, Reply)
Working from home today me.
But then I have to spend all week next week in Cheltenham.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:42, Reply)
Actually working or just going for a "cancelled meeting"?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:50, Reply)
Actually working next week.
Yesterday I spent a nice afternoon in a bar on the river front near tower bridge.

It was really rather lovely
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:08, Reply)
keep guffing m6+2

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:07, Reply)
1h12min til 4:20

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:08, Reply)
#believe
#blazeit
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:09, Reply)
It's time

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:20, Reply)
time for some lager innit

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:08, Reply)
I can think of little else

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:09, Reply)
might get the racket in later also

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:09, Reply)
black colin up the juicer has started going out with some old bird who owns a hotel in bristol or saink, she was down last weekend, brought an oz for him, think there is about 14 left, i'm getting right on it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:11, Reply)
Are all your Colins colour-coded?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:24, Reply)
Nah, ones car dealer Colin

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:25, Reply)
Would it be rude in inquire what it was her did to earn that monicker?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:27, Reply)
Colin's another name that's dying out
You never hear of people naming their babies Colin these days. Not sure why they ever did, really
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:30, Reply)
I blame Colin Powell

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:38, Reply)
he pronounces his name as Colon
the weirdo
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:40, Reply)
he sells cars

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:39, Reply)
NO WAY!
You guys are so random!
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:41, Reply)
you pretty much get called after what you do, mick the chip, dave the bed, paki bill did used to have a corner shop but isnt a paki

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:43, Reply)
Yeah, I'm mates with a 'painter gary'.
He's a painter.

I also know two Dod's that paint. But they're just called Dod.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:47, Reply)
its how it goes innit, i'm sparky dave

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:50, Reply)
Because you own a magic piano?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:59, Reply)
Because of his scintillating, likeable and ever-cheerful personality.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:01, Reply)
Nah coz I spark cunts out with one punch

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:02, Reply)
"Internet Hardman Dave"

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:18, Reply)
Sounds like a Viz strip.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:22, Reply)
or it might be because i'm an electrician, who knows

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:23, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7933218
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
Dod the Hod would be a good name for a builder/brickie.
Better than fucking 'Bob', anyway.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:00, Reply)
My mum's annoying cousin is known to the family as Iris the virus.
Imagine the hilarity when Con Air came out, and the villian had a similar nickname!
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:14, Reply)
I'm not aware of her actually having any viral diseases though.
I don't think anyone really thought it through.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:16, Reply)
Iris the Virus, Jeremy Germ and Ugly Jack Bacteria were characters in an old Beano strip called 'The Germs'.
Even as a kid, it bothered me that 'bacteria' is the plural of 'bacterium' and he was just a single one.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:19, Reply)
Oh Tea.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:19, Reply)
I know. :(

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:21, Reply)
My chap in Bethnal has just parted company with his business partner
I am not pleased: they've had an unbroken run of top quality for about 10 years, and their source is the other guy's cousin. I will be fucking gutted if it goes to shit.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:32, Reply)
sadtimes indeed

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:40, Reply)
It might be OK
Just depends if they fell out or just stopped working together - and whether matey's cousin will put money before family if they did fall out.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:50, Reply)
Poofs.
Real men would drink warm beer and like it.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:10, Reply)
i didn't like one of the drinks at the beer festival, fucking shite

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:12, Reply)
Should've just had a spritzer.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:18, Reply)
should have just gone up the spoons, fuck camra and fuck real ale

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:21, Reply)
+for a treat

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:23, Reply)
It's not my bag tbh
I don't want ten pints of warm, complex-flavoured pondwater, I want nice crisp refreshing lager. Nommy lager.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:33, Reply)
with occasional Hennessys.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:39, Reply)
I got a free triple Hennessy in a nightclub in Florence once
that is all
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:41, Reply)
Wow, m8 -
WOW.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:42, Reply)
hey just because you dance the go go, it don't make you a ho no

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:51, Reply)
I drop it like it's hot

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:56, Reply)
nor mine, but the festival was local so would have been rude not to have a look around

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:41, Reply)
I went to one in a church in Clapton once
The other attendees were fucking frightful.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:43, Reply)
I bet you drink Carling Black Label.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:46, Reply)
only with a top, bit strong otherwise

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:48, Reply)
Bit warmer than I'd like.
I'd make myself a coffee, if I could be bothered to stand up.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:09, Reply)
^
If I get as far as eating this roast, I shall be asleep within minutes of finishing it
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:23, Reply)
Last time I went to the carvery, I had a salad with meat added to it.
It seemed to work, so I suggest you do this.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:26, Reply)
Mrs Hats asked for roast chicken with jacket potatoes
I stupidly said (last night, when naturally it was cooler) that I would prefer a roast. So I've already done all the prep. Ah well, it'll taste good. And it might make the family more docile.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:28, Reply)
Roast with full trimmings, and it's not even Sunday?
What are you, some sort of good-looking rebel who won't play by the rules?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:43, Reply)
Oh, I'm a rebel, baby
I'm even doing parsnips. I do not give a single heck.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:56, Reply)
Language pls there are children nearby

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:04, Reply)
hi richard, thanks for asking, i hope you're well
i bought a vape the other day, it's alright, i wonder if any other forum members vape? we could start a clique
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:17, Reply)
we could exchange vaping techniques and start a vape mail group

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:18, Reply)
i had a go at sub-ohm vaping but i think i'll stick to mouth to lung

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:31, Reply)
fucking hell
I didn't know that existed
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:32, Reply)
well, now you do and you can't change that

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:50, Reply)
What flavour?
There a bloke who vapes at our rock climbing centre, and I can't decide if a lungful of his fruity wafts is actually worse than proper smoke.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:20, Reply)
i got a tobacco flavoured one and a menthol one

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:30, Reply)
If you like your menthol juices
This is fucking lovely, just buy a low nicotine one for it though, like 3mg or 6mg, but it tastes like halls sweets (not soothers, the proper ones)
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:06, Reply)
My missus bought one but I've only seen her use it about twice
I was thinking about getting one of these for blazing it:
www.vapefiend.co.uk/arizer-solo.html?page=all

My mate has one and I tried it, it was great.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:35, Reply)
this is my mate, i'm sure i could negotiate deals on products
www.therizlaman.com/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:46, Reply)
ooh, that could be a good thing

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:52, Reply)
he can source anything, its not all on his website, i

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:53, Reply)
would you mind asking about one of these Arizer Solo things plz?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:57, Reply)
I will text him now

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:05, Reply)
fantastic

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:06, Reply)
good stuff #vape #vapefriends #planetofthevapes
i bought this one www.beaumvape.co.uk/product/plato-aspire/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:49, Reply)
#convictedvapist

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:50, Reply)
I'm thinking of buying a 'launch box' for smoking not tobacco now I don't smoke tabs.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:44, Reply)
I've had one of these for the past 15 years or so, it's great:
www.shivaonline.co.uk/shop/pipes---chillums/deluxe-pipes/products/silver-palm-leaf-pipe--credit-card-pipe----original.html
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:48, Reply)
*Bookmarks for later purchase*
I might have to get myself a good quality pipe for the dank, seems like the cheaper option. Aren't these things really harsh on the throat though?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:01, Reply)
not too bad actually
The design is clever in that the smoke has travelled a long way before it hits the throat, so it's a little bit cooler. You get used to it.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:06, Reply)
That launch box is a vaporizer, I just instinctively said 'smoke'.
I'm not clicking any more links as I think that first one you clicked got blocked.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:03, Reply)
Oops

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:07, Reply)
It's my fault, the link was hardly cryptic.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:11, Reply)
That's certainly true

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:12, Reply)
Try this one:
www.massivedrugs.com/obvious-cannabis-paraphernalia.html
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:28, Reply)
I've been on them for a bit now, cheating by #420 blazing it obviously but I haven't touched a cig in aages now
I'd buy a "dry herb and wax" vape but they're stupidly expensive by comparison. What did you go for? I've just upgraded from this beast to one of these with this tank.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:54, Reply)
Why is everyone so down on tobacco?
Weed and hash are always better mixed with tobacco. Why not just smoke tobacco with your weed and not smoke cigarettes?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
i agree, i like to smoke a spliff

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:32, Reply)
That's what I do now, it's just the healthlols really

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:40, Reply)
Same here on the whole
If I go out drinking I smoke fags though
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:47, Reply)
Hullo Richard, I'm fine thanks
I'm having an ill-advised roast for dinner.

#infest
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:19, Reply)
^gay sex

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:20, Reply)
well y

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:23, Reply)
Odd choice m8

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:39, Reply)
It sort of spiralled out of control m8
I love a roast...but it's too warm. But I'm committed to it now.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:58, Reply)
I might go Turkish...or skip it altogether

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:17, Reply)
I bet you might

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:20, Reply)
Alright.
I'm still in my pyjamas. Yay.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:46, Reply)
peng

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:53, Reply)
Yes m8

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 16:05, Reply)
4/7 for me this week
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36211726
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:41, Reply)
Alas I got 3

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:43, Reply)
^a lass that got 3

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:45, Reply)
Hello. I'm off work
as the Celebration of Blue Star's Birth is due to start today. How are you, llb?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:47, Reply)
on my way to a funeral, unfortunately. otherwise fine though
what birthday shenanigans have you planned?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:03, Reply)
Oh damn. Sorry to read that.
Actually nothing what with folk moving house or being on holiday, the inconsiderate shits.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:08, Reply)
yer i saw that
where are they going?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:11, Reply)
'Nam.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:06, Reply)
4/7 for me too

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:44, Reply)
Alright, you bender?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:45, Reply)
Tip top ta! You?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:05, Reply)
4 also

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:44, Reply)
same

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:48, Reply)
after a strong start, i crashed and burned with 3/7
some of those were particularly wank questions though
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:45, Reply)
Long shot You scored 3 out of 7

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:46, Reply)
4

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:46, Reply)
2

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:46, Reply)
0

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:46, Reply)
AAAIIGGH!!!
*blazes it*
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:48, Reply)
he'

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:06, Reply)
Street Loife m8
Street Loife
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:12, Reply)
standard

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:14, Reply)
4 for me
Hint: all the answers are correct for the grammar question.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:49, Reply)
3/7
www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/the-friday-news-quiz-95426/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:49, Reply)
3/10
whilst i scored poorly i feel i learned a little about kent
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:56, Reply)
I'll probably get an award for promoting Kent soon

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:57, Reply)
Only 4/10 from the main event

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:11, Reply)
4 here

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:16, Reply)
20 there

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:31, Reply)
Blaze it?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:46, Reply)
Let's just say I closed the tab before I got grannied.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:59, Reply)
4/7 club, and I knew those ones as well

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:09, Reply)
I cheated and got 7 out of 7

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:17, Reply)
bullshit

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:21, Reply)
No really, I started again twice to make sure I won.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:26, Reply)
4

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:21, Reply)
2
that's bad, even for me
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:23, Reply)
0

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:31, Reply)
*blazes*

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:31, Reply)
sweet
+leaf
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:32, Reply)
#ff @Two Hats

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:33, Reply)
ever heard the Butthole Surfers cover of that?
It's brilliant
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:45, Reply)
I haven't actually
but I will
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:46, Reply)
Ta daahhh
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYGoougMHSQ
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:54, Reply)
Their cover of Hurdy Gurdy man is superb also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=76yWZcsgwF8
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:55, Reply)
No one cares, Richard ffs

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:00, Reply)
Sweet Loaf was interesting

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:04, Reply)
They are a bunch of nutters
LP titles include:

Rembrandt Pussyhorse
Psychic..powerless..another man's sac
Humpty Dumpty LSD

and so on
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:08, Reply)
I remember one of my mates had an album of theirs...really can't remember which
also that was 20+ years ago
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:11, Reply)
I was obsessed as a teenager
Musically incompetent but that's all part of it. My brother is convinced they're actually musical geniuses, to make such an atonal cacophony - he is wrong.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:12, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 15:15, Reply)
2, oh dear

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:59, Reply)
My Indiana Jones style hat just turned up
What just turned up for you?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:34, Reply)
i think you have to say turnt up, now

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
but I'm not drunk

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:39, Reply)
look, i don't make the rules

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:42, Reply)
I was invited to get turnt with the boys the other day.
It was fun.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:19, Reply)
Two turnts and a microphone

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:30, Reply)
i find that in situations like that, one has little choice but to say
'turn down for what?'
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:32, Reply)
turnt baby turnt, disco infernto

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:45, Reply)
The heat, baby

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:38, Reply)
lol blanked

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:54, Reply)
what, that action movie starring Harold Bishop?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:10, Reply)
I'd watch that.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:14, Reply)
I used to have Body Melt on VHS.
Pretty sure he was the baddie in that.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:15, Reply)
I watched Futurekick, with Don 'The Dragon' Wilson last night.
It was both brilliant and shit. It had Meg Foster and that old white-haired bloke who played the evil businessman in loads of 80's films in it.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:19, Reply)
Nice:
Totally not ripping off The Terminator for this poster.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:26, Reply)
It's like a mixture of Robocop, Total Recall and Blade Runner with kickboxing.
It's on youtube if you run out of things to do.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:28, Reply)
I'd buy THAT for a dollar!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:29, Reply)
They sent him back from 1999...
to KICK humanity IN THE FACE!
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:29, Reply)
I especially like how everything's run by a megacorp called simply 'the corporation'.
It's like when in b-movies when things are simply called 'the device'.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:31, Reply)
Writing an action film must be like writing a porno:
< reason for two people to be together >
< they fight/fuck >

[repeat until close]

In either case, the audience is only there for the second part of the formula.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:38, Reply)
Apparently on German telly they cut the glasses fight scene from They Live.
I mean, what's the fucking point?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:50, Reply)
First the holocaust, now this. Where will it end?
My Predator DVD is missing the "stick around" gag, that's probably Germany's fault, too.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 14:30, Reply)
I had Street Trash and Ozone
both terrible and wonderful in equal measure
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:23, Reply)
One of my friends had loads of these; I think Londis used to sell off their old rental stock for about £2 a pop.
I distinctly remember Suburban Commando and Serial Mom being in his collection.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:25, Reply)
Sounds nasty. Hope you're all better now.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:27, Reply)
I was hoping for a new record, but I don't think the lazy pricks have even despatched it yet

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:47, Reply)
I'm still waiting for a copy of Rock And Rollin' With Fats Domino to turn up from France.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:52, Reply)
they're too busy having lunch and going on strike to send it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:57, Reply)
Quite possibly. I ordered it on a Friday night and matey didn't even invoice me until Monday morning when he was back in work.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:02, Reply)
Two records for me and a book on Turkish cooking for my mother

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:48, Reply)
I'm still waiting for t-shirts to arrive
they're taking their sweet time
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)
i've got one on the way as well
a mystery one
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:54, Reply)
I have two that are not mysteries, one that is
although the mystery one is child sized
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:55, Reply)
Oh wait...two adult shirts, two child shirts...one of which is mystery
there
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:56, Reply)
thank god we got that straightened out

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:07, Reply)
I know, I was starting to get nervous

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:09, Reply)
I'm glad this has been sorted
I will close the thread now.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:21, Reply)
autographed picture of Maggie Smith with the words 'Keep fucking, Gloria' written on it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:51, Reply)
who wrote the words?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:52, Reply)
not sure

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:54, Reply)
It'd have been better if it was Patti Smith.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:53, Reply)
aye!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:54, Reply)
naink

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:57, Reply)
I lied. I have nothing turning up.
I'm sorry.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:06, Reply)
gaz me your address and I'll send you something

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:07, Reply)
only soiled boxers, please

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:09, Reply)
standard

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:17, Reply)
used soiled boxers 3.0

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:33, Reply)

Thread closed.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:21, Reply)
*hides under pool table until the thread clears out*
*goes behind the bar and starts drinking*
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 13:33, Reply)
Well then
This is nice, isn't it. No mention of dildo's or bumholes or Downton Abbey, or even a combination of the three. So what's next? What's the next thing?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:38, Reply)
or is it 'dildoes'?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:39, Reply)
Dunno, ask Dan Quayle.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:57, Reply)
but I don't know when I'm going to see him next

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:58, Reply)
dildi

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:14, Reply)
ah, of course

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:16, Reply)
you know a joke has jumped the shark when dozer starts copying it

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:39, Reply)
he's an odd duck, innee

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:04, Reply)

n odd d stupid f
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:12, Reply)
Lunch, probably.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:48, Reply)
*sigh*
Yes, I suppose so
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:52, Reply)
Can we talk about Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's alleged fetish for jizzing in women's hair while they're asleep?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:55, Reply)
And while we're at it, just what it is with guys named Hugh being massive pervs and/or whore-hirers?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:55, Reply)
^called hugh jarse

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:04, Reply)
No real names, plz.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:05, Reply)
Hugh Grant, that's another one!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:05, Reply)
Indeed, I thought he was almost too obvious to mention.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:07, Reply)
Has Jackman ever done anything pervy?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:08, Reply)
Almost certainly.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:11, Reply)
he's australian. 'nuff said

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:13, Reply)
I liked it when he mimed 'bacon pancakes'

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:13, Reply)
i bet you did, etc

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:14, Reply)
He used to do musicals, 'nuff said

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:17, Reply)
What do you reckon Huw Edwards' perversion is?
probably wanks himself raw to old Betamax tapes of Moira Stewart
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:06, Reply)
He's Welsh, 'nuff said

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:20, Reply)
protein biosynthesis

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:03, Reply)
I like this!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:05, Reply)
I hate this!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:07, Reply)
I bet you like football and the footy
and all those things
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:14, Reply)
I love a bit of football!
All the teams and that. And when they score a goal? Oh m8, forget about it. I go bloody mental.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:17, Reply)

score do
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:19, Reply)
the death of Denis Norden

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:04, Reply)
He's got good form.
I reckon Harry Dean Stanton can't have much longer :(
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:06, Reply)
or Richard Dean Anderson

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:07, Reply)
or James Dean Bradfield

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:07, Reply)
or more commonly known as "a cock up"
*canned laughter*
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:06, Reply)
'the cohockup acahademy'

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:09, Reply)
no, that's penis norden

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:13, Reply)
What Denis Norden put a cock up his bumbum??

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:15, Reply)
So if you mess this up, I'm the one who gets the blame
Your cock-up; My Arse.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:18, Reply)
Laughing at this way more than I should

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:20, Reply)
I said this at work once
no one got it :(
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:20, Reply)
maybe they were just offended at your blatant theft from the thin blue line

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:34, Reply)
I've never seen it :(

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:38, Reply)
sure, godby
youtu.be/Jzoz2FgAOxE
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:43, Reply)
You clearly work with a bunch of humourless cunts

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:37, Reply)
It's like a meeting of quakers here most of the time.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:39, Reply)
the laughter is genuine m7+1
people got tickets to see Norden hold a clipboard for an hour and laugh as he held on to it
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 12:24, Reply)
It's only been a three-day week for me
but today's still dragging. What are your weekend plans?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:15, Reply)
nothing out of the ordinary

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:19, Reply)
Wife is away, tomorrow, so will probably go ice skating.
Might make another cake on Sunday.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:20, Reply)
I have this image that when your spouse leaves
you're free to don a tutu and skate your heart out to Ravel's Bolero, eyes closed, imagining Christopher Dean is maintaining a muscular grip on your waist on an ice rink somewhere outside Gillingham.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:28, Reply)
Hardly.
Gillingham ice rink has restrictive opening hours and high prices.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:30, Reply)
i'll just see where it takes me

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:22, Reply)
^ Littlest hobo

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:29, Reply)
what a scoop
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14474213._Robbery__at_Welling_garage/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:44, Reply)
you can't even trust door to door magnifying glass salesmen these days, broken britain
www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/police-hunt-for-distraction-burglar-95443/
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:07, Reply)
I don't think I've used a magnifying glass since I was old enough to buy matches and lighters.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:33, Reply)
i have a few loupes

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:40, Reply)
As a myopic speccy prick, I can usually just have a peer at something with my glasses off.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:46, Reply)
Police say they're looking into it.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:40, Reply)
oh for fucks sake

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:42, Reply)
And it's good night from him

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:44, Reply)
I like this.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 11:58, Reply)
i'm going to guess
down the juicer
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:30, Reply)
Its certainly a possibility, I have got to meet my mate there at 5 as she needs cheering up

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:39, Reply)
#dirtyoldbollocks

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:46, Reply)
only two days for me
been in cornwall, for some reason
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:39, Reply)
oh yeah, weekend plans
gonna have a bbbq tomorrow, anyone wanna come along?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:40, Reply)
Nah

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:41, Reply)
you're not invited

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:44, Reply)
You just invited me tho

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:12, Reply)
oh yeh lol

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:37, Reply)
I'll be there in spirit,
sitting alone and muttering to myself.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:44, Reply)
I'll be there in spirit

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:46, Reply)
is anyone going to be there physically?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:47, Reply)
no
soz
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:48, Reply)
i'll make sure i take lots of pictures of me enjoying myself with the spirits

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:48, Reply)
cool

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
i'll show you cool

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:08, Reply)
what's that extra B for?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:52, Reply)
byobb

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:55, Reply)
what's THAT extra B for?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:59, Reply)
it's a typo

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:07, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:09, Reply)
Job interview in the morning, then heading down to colchester for a big piss up
What are your plans grrr
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:42, Reply)
gonna go and explore the abandoned Tsarist forts around Warsaw
and make a first attempt at fitting a PC into my car.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:47, Reply)
Lovely
Using a tablet setup? You can get some decent 2-din head units these days, if that will fit in your car
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:25, Reply)
None of the above
Tablets are underpowered for what I want to do, and a doubledin unit won't fit (not enough depth in the car). So I'm building my own solution.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:33, Reply)
Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:48, Reply)
Dunno yet.
Probably just see which way the wind blows, go with the tide, drift downstream, fuck your nan.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:45, Reply)
my grandmother's ashes WERE scattered in the sea
so you've got a fair chance of touching your knob on one of the flakes next time you go for a dip in the North Sea
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:49, Reply)
I'm not going north mate.
Fuck that.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:54, Reply)
North coast of Kent is the North Sea ffs

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
Might have a barbecue on the roof terrace

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:52, Reply)
Oh well lah de fucking dah
gonna put slices of lime in your cervezas too?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:53, Reply)
Artisan limes, yes.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:07, Reply)
I was quite a fan of the "cold Mexican piss with a slice of lime" fad.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:21, Reply)
Me and a mexican took a cold piss on your nan's sliced lime last christmas, m8

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:23, Reply)
'none of the above'

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:25, Reply)
No man, bartender got it worse than anybody.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:32, Reply)
Alright Richard.
I was listening to a 60's mix on the way to work and it had a lovely French version of Gimmie Summer Lovin' by Sylvie Vartan, it was well reem.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:49, Reply)
bloody loads of stuff
having kids totally ruined all that sitting around doing nothing that I used to do
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:30, Reply)
I never had that sitting-around-in-my-pants-all-weekend stage
have I missed out?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:36, Reply)
oh I always wore trousers
I'm not a savage
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:41, Reply)
I'm a bit knackered so I might just stay in and stay out of trouble.
Then again, I might not.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:33, Reply)
Stay OUT and CAUSE trouble m8

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:36, Reply)
Queen Street nick do a good fried breakfast.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 10:38, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 6:58, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:17, Reply)
good morning Richard!

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:21, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:19, Reply)
alright mongy

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:21, Reply)
Yeah I await the sunshine so I can go play

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:45, Reply)
lake or pub?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:59, Reply)
beer festival, should be fun

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:14, Reply)
My first's not in elk, but features in moose
The next's not in hang but shows double in noose
My third is in Reagan, and president too
My fourth's not in old but it features in new
Water you'd freeze for the first of the fifth
My sixth is in lemon, but never in pith
My seventh's in sewage, but not once in drains
Please post a link to some crap Lego trains
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:20, Reply)
Monwfhw?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:25, Reply)
that was superb
youtu.be/FSim5boE43Q?t=2m31s
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:25, Reply)

My first's not in elk, but features in moose
Next isn't in hang but scores double in noose
My third is in Reagan, and president too
My fourth's not in old but appears in new
Water you'd freeze to find the first of the fifth
My sixth is in lemon, but not once in pith
Seventh's in sewage, but not once in drains
Please post a link to some crap Lego trains


I am a gay spaz and I love it up my bum-bum from other gay spazzes
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:41, Reply)

gay spaz Hugh Bonneville
other gay spazzes paid sex workers
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:13, Reply)
Laurie

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:17, Reply)
Moining
Did Labour win the telly then?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:22, Reply)
yeah, but they forgot the picnic basket and the cuddly toy

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:26, Reply)
alright grrrmo

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:44, Reply)
alright mano

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:56, Reply)
yer, mostly
got to go to a funeral today. gets me 3 hours off work though.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:38, Reply)
anyone you care about?
or you just fancy some egg and cress sandwiches?
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:42, Reply)
My mate's funeral laid on some sausages that had this honey coating on them
fucking delicious
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:45, Reply)
those were his fingers m8
they marinated them for the cremation
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:45, Reply)
i think the wake might be at the churchillian on portsdown hill
which would be nice as it has a beautiful view
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:56, Reply)
Yeah, it's nice up there

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:58, Reply)
yeah, my uncle
i hadn't seen him in a long time but he was a good guy. also, both my parents will be there with their respective partners. so that'll be fun.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:50, Reply)
I know the feeling
my brother's wedding was the first time my parents had been in the same room for 20 years. My Dad won the olympic gold in Avoiding Eye Contact.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:00, Reply)
What 'wait category' was he in?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:08, Reply)
oh families

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:10, Reply)
Friday?
*checks novelty socks*

Friday
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:45, Reply)
I own days-of-the-week socks
but I don't wear them on the correct day, because I'm an anarchist, fuck the system.
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 7:57, Reply)

^total badass^
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:02, Reply)
You are the breath of fresh air
Our stagnant political system needs
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:15, Reply)
Mix and match then stand on the international date line

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:31, Reply)
Happy Day of Bravery*
*in Bulgaria
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:44, Reply)
to celebrate;
here's a gif of bulgarian hero rusev, bravely throwing a fish at his ex-girlfriend
*salutes*
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 8:59, Reply)
The finishing moves just aren't as innovative as they used to be, are they

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:00, Reply)

in
(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:14, Reply)
oh come on now, reelly

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:15, Reply)
what does 'novative' mean?

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:17, Reply)
poor fish :(

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:15, Reply)
+space

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 9:16, Reply)
Yesterday the tv channel has the episode of steptoe with lenord rossitpr in, brilliant

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:21, Reply)
Number 19 on the remote

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:22, Reply)
dunno what that means, but I'm glad you're happy
and pissed, by the looks of it
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:22, Reply)
Steptoe and son, a great episode is on the tv, do you require an episode number so you can view?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:25, Reply)
i think it might be the confusing name of the channel 'yesterday'
just playing godby's advocate, like
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:33, Reply)
Yesterday the tv channel, How is that confusing? aspergers no doubt

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:37, Reply)
my mate can't get his head around all these channels, they really challenge dave

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:42, Reply)
what is 'e, 4?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 22:12, Reply)
Not sure, but I heard e's are good.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 22:13, Reply)
nah I'm alright, cheers for the offer though
I think I saw an episode once
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:33, Reply)
The acting is sublime

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:38, Reply)
That was brilliant

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:54, Reply)
Now it looks as though they're here to stode of steptoe with lenord rossitpr in, brillant

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 22:16, Reply)
Good though your /board post is, apparently it's no 'John Hurt with a banana coming out of him'.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:02, Reply)
That'll teach me for not playing nicely and being nice to my /board betters :(
Not that that matters, of course, images are selected for the front page purely on merit and represent the 'best of the board'.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:13, Reply)
Watch it quietly get shoved off the bottom of the popular page through manipulation of the number of clicks it's received
because we can't risk something like that accidentally ending up on the all-important TWITTER FEED
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:20, Reply)
haha
May 3: "Hey Hey we're the Gorillaz" by HappyToast - just FP'd: ift.tt/1W7ot5G

Apr 23: "Slap" by monkeon - just FP'd: ift.tt/1Nq628P

Apr 23: "" by spellingmistakescostlives - just FP'd: ift.tt/1T54wWv

THAT LAST ONE DIDN'T HAVE A TITLE, IT RUINED THE TWITTER FEED, ROB WILL BE FURIOUS
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:30, Reply)
Also, take note:
HappyToast made the only funny post on /board in nearly 2 weeks. Pull your socks up, everyone else.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:32, Reply)
oh man, my post just got FP'd.
Don't I look silly now!
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:41, Reply)
Guilted into it, it's just hard work this

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 0:03, Reply)
I reckon they just hope I'll get sued.

(, Fri 6 May 2016, 0:04, Reply)
Thank god that we have mods who consider petty personal vendettas to be more important than highlighting content that would increase traffic to the site, great work

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 23:30, Reply)
Hugh Bonneville thread

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:58, Reply)
FINALLY

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:59, Reply)
alright manolith do you think you could ask one of the proper mods nicely to put THFH's pic on the front page then?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:03, Reply)
i'm sure i could, as could you
dunno who mods /board though
fuck off 2can
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:06, Reply)
Happy twat

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:09, Reply)
still?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:25, Reply)
Course you don't. Tell you what though, if another rubbish monkeon pic made it onto the front page instead that would probably piss me off so much I would leave forever.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:19, Reply)
fingers crossed then

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:25, Reply)
...

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:26, Reply)
oh, sorry
+fuck off 2can
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:02, Reply)
He's always do good stuff

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:46, Reply)
Its a great forum

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:08, Reply)
*guffs*

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:02, Reply)
anal dildo sub-thread

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:03, Reply)
helen woods sub-thread

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:03, Reply)
Bournville is not even a particularly good chocolate subthread.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:57, Reply)
No but built a town and looked after his peeps

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:00, Reply)
Thus inspiring Hitler's Theresienstadt.
So yeah, true mongy.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:03, Reply)
Good old Hitler

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:47, Reply)
alright ken

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:48, Reply)
It's what the piple of landan want

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:52, Reply)
john lydon lols

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:54, Reply)
I never wanted him, he helped the glc against thatcher, but like boris I don't and didn't think they are all self promotion gits, london never wanted this, m2p

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:14, Reply)
First I've ever heard of this guy.
Although I *do* know that he loves to have prozzies stick dildos up his bum-bum.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:53, Reply)
^ helen wood

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 21:15, Reply)
Hiya fannies.
How's it going?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:35, Reply)
Alright. Nearly home time innit.
Might watch a really bad b-movie like Hardware or Futurekick when I get in.

Trying to work out whether to go to the pub near the polling station as well.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:38, Reply)
Pub garden is packed with kids, honestly the mums round here don't cook once it's sunny

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:38, Reply)
Something I like about Scotland is that children need to be kept in designated areas away from adults who are trying to have a pint in peace.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:40, Reply)
We have that inside, not in the garden, I just smoke near them and they fuck off

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:46, Reply)
Yeah but sometimes the entitled parents get uppity and act like it's a play area rather than somewhere for adults to drink and smoke.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:47, Reply)
Its strict in my local, someone rests a drink on the pool table they get told, yet regulars are untouched,

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:50, Reply)
As it should be.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:53, Reply)
Oh I don't know, do I
Starting series 4 of Vikings tonight, so suck on that, you bender
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:05, Reply)
You could at least wash it first

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:11, Reply)
Alright princess.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:14, Reply)
Bit fussy m8

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:23, Reply)
That's what we benders are like, m8

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:24, Reply)
Oh yeah
Alright, but I'm only using wet wipes
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:38, Reply)
Where's that cunt manolith and why hasn't he front paged hedgehog's picture yet?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:47, Reply)
i'm here
not my board
fuck off 2can
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 18:58, Reply)
Too busy fingering dogs' bumholes.
Just like every other mod. And to think we all voted him in on a 'No touching dogs on the bumhole' platform.
:( sadtimes
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 19:56, Reply)
Not bad, like.
Had lunch with t'other half's cousin and her bloke, spent the afternoon smoking spliffs and talking about gardening.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:36, Reply)
Blayz it m8

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:55, Reply)
I was going to start a new thread, but then I decided against it
What did you almost do, but decided against? You can't say 'got a prossie to put a dildo up my bum'
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:45, Reply)
Reply to this post.
Who knows what pearl of wisdom I might have paid on you?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:51, Reply)
we may never know

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:51, Reply)
I've got an injunction now,
and will sue if you attempt to speculate.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:52, Reply)
I respectfully withdraw

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:02, Reply)
like a dildo from an actor's botty?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:32, Reply)
*schlup*

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:43, Reply)
^foley artist

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:48, Reply)
I'd fucking love to do that
Making noises for a living? Sounds like my dream job
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:01, Reply)
Bing, Doof, Poink!
That's just three that I can do!
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:03, Reply)
I could do about an hour just on various *parrps*

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:09, Reply)
have you seen Berberian Sound System?
I recommend it highly
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:20, Reply)
also
noises smells
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:21, Reply)
Man, I always thought that a Foley artist was someone doing innappropriate Eddie Murphy impressions.
RUINER.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 20:01, Reply)
i'm surprised Hugh Bonneville up the bum with a dildo hasn't hit google search yet, where's frank he was great at tricking google

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:49, Reply)
The papers are trying so hard to leak the story, but as subtley as they can so they don't get in trouble
www.theguardian.com/media/mediamonkeyblog/2016/may/05/the-sun-hugh-bonneville-downton-abbey-ibsen
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:07, Reply)
A story about another paper reviewing his play?
"Hugh Bonneville ditches his safe family man image". Hasn't every paper described this mystery man as being a "family man"?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:08, Reply)
Come on, Hugh! It's only a dildo up the bum
Who cares? Wait....a headline is forming in my brain...

HUGH CARES?!
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:09, Reply)
If he didn't, he wouldn't have needed the injunction.
Something for Hugh Bonneville to think about, if he ever decides to get a paid sex worker to do him up the bumbum in the future.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:25, Reply)
So what you're saying is
If Hugh Bonneville doesn't want people talking about prostitutes putting dildo's up his bum, then Hugh Bonneville shouldn't let prostitutes put dildo's up his bum?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:27, Reply)
Sounds a lot like victim blaming that.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:29, Reply)
Hey, I'm not the one on trial here

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
Oh, no.
Hugh Bonneville should feel free to have whomsoever he chooses do him up the bumbum, if that's his thing. I just think that, if he wants to keep the matter private (and why wouldn't he?), he should probably avoid getting his lawyers involved and creating a permanent record of that time he got a paid sex worker to do him up the bumbum.

Y'know, if that's ever something he'd be likely to do.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
A more cynical person would suggest that this whole thing was engineered to give him some publicity
what with his play and his films and that. But I'm engaged in speculation.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:32, Reply)
he films this sort of stuff? disgusting, i don't want to see helen wood fucking Hugh Bonneville up the bum with a dildo , or do i

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:33, Reply)
"The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being done up the bumbum. "
- Oscar Wilde
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
That sounds like something Oscar would say

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:35, Reply)

- +by
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:39, Reply)
yeah, so you can't really strike-through a hyphen.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:40, Reply)
bit draconian

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:31, Reply)
Did the dracon's like putting stuff up their bums?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
you bet they did

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:37, Reply)
Hey, enough with the otherkinphobia plz. >:-(

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:37, Reply)
Draco was an ancient greek politician
What do you think?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:01, Reply)
Yeah but he was a toff so he probably preferred putting things up other people's bum-bums.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:19, Reply)
or if you are going to hire one, don't hire a kiss and tell one with previous form of running to the press next time Hugh Bonneville when you want it up the bum with a dildo

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:29, Reply)
Isn't discretion one of the things prostitutes pride themselves on?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:30, Reply)
helen wood just wanted to be famous, if that involved doing Hugh Bonneville up the bum with a dildo and telling the sun she'd do it

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:32, Reply)
10th highest hit
www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=hugh+bonneville+dildo
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
i get no results i wonder if Hugh (up the bum with a dildo ) Bonneville is cross with me :(

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:37, Reply)
google tailor their results based on past search history.
Conclusion: hugh bonneville isn't the only dirty old bollocks in this thread.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:41, Reply)
delete this pls

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:43, Reply)
its odd because its been all over the net since it happened, why get all legal about it now with websites

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:45, Reply)
I see those results have been doctored to comply with legal requests.
I wonder if someone is trying to hide something?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:38, Reply)
from around 5 years ago? that they must have told their wife and family about by now, why would they bother

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:41, Reply)
"How was your day, darling?"
Oh, you know: few hours filming the period drama, and then I got done up the bumbum by a paid sex worker. Anyway, I'm bushed - what's for tea?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:46, Reply)
would you like me to get on my vpn and see what google.se has to say about this?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:42, Reply)
Hugh Bonneville sov med Helen trä och gillar en dildo upp bum-bum

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:46, Reply)
Herdy Verdy Gershky Hugh Bonneville Herdy Merdy Dildo Gerdy Verdy Bumhole

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:48, Reply)
Someone should photoshop the ikea men.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:51, Reply)
soz, don't know how to use photoshop
i.imgur.com/52K864m.png
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:20, Reply)
officecrease

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:21, Reply)
Much lol at all of this.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:52, Reply)
5th highest if you just search for posts within the last hour for 'hughe bonneville'
www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=hugh+bonneville&tbs=qdr:h
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:08, Reply)
some work

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:53, Reply)
standard

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:59, Reply)
I think you should all decide for clicking Hedgey's post on /board
b3ta.com/board/11197822
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:56, Reply)
Why, thank you.
I think it's some of my best work.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:57, Reply)
If I could remember the address of any of my "Woo! Yay!" gifs,
you can rest assured that I would have posted one for this.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:09, Reply)
I'm surprised it's still there, to be honest.
It's way over the 250kb file size limit recommended for still images. In the good old days, the thread would have been filled with about 3mb of fail gifs, and I'd have been nawty-stepped.

Broken b3ta :(
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:39, Reply)
This is fucking outstanding, top work there THFH.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:18, Reply)
^

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:02, Reply)

i.imgur.com/5W5DQNR.gif
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:59, Reply)
I wouldn't want to be with someone who does, to be honest

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:00, Reply)
Make a cup of tea.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:03, Reply)
that is a damn jolly good idea

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:04, Reply)
see you there!

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:06, Reply)
ur nan, last christmas

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:32, Reply)


(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:43, Reply)
*schlup*

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 15:54, Reply)
was going to have lunch
but i'm not hungry
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:09, Reply)
well, ok
but make sure you have a proper dinner. Starving yourself will do you no favours.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:11, Reply)
having a curry tonight
job interview tomorrow, so bit squirly around the innards
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:18, Reply)
Don't worry about it
They need you more than you need them. Good luck.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 17:04, Reply)
I bought a 6 pack of cheese and onion to go with my lunch yesterday as they were about the same price as a normal 'grab bag'
There is now only one bag left and I doubt it'll make it until hometime.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:12, Reply)
Just spotted the 2nd pork pie from the 2-pack I bought earlier. Score.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:13, Reply)
haven't eaten a pork pie in about 15 years
they're just not the same any more
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:19, Reply)
Well, no.
Not many foods will keep that long.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 16:22, Reply)
Non-libellous thread,
for when the preceding thread gets deleted for legal reasons.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:25, Reply)
Bonnevile. Bum. Baton. Brostitute

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:26, Reply)
Shh!
REDACTED
This isn't a thread for mentioning that Hugh Bonneville is a big gay spaz who likes it up the bumbum from paid sex workers.

manolith, delete this, please.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:28, Reply)
no probs, done

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:34, Reply)
You're the best, manolith.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:36, Reply)
Hugh Bummefill

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:37, Reply)
Brownfun Abbey

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:31, Reply)
Michael McIntyre likes poo play with dwarves

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:27, Reply)
Wait. Can we just make stuff up now?
I've always found slander is easier to remember if it rhymes.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:28, Reply)
I hope so
otherwise I'm doing bird
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:29, Reply)
<s> bird + Hugh Bonneville up the bum with a dildo

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:31, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7634829
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:50, Reply)
That's libellous. You might want to reconsider that post.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:34, Reply)
My pal Arson Dave is going daaahhn.
Min 18 month sentence.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:29, Reply)
what did he do?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:31, Reply)
Hugh Bonneville up the bum with a dildo

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:32, Reply)
Hahaha
Putting the 'arse' in 'arson'
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:33, Reply)
Not (bum-)burglary?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:46, Reply)
Putting the turd in burglary?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:53, Reply)
B&E

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:32, Reply)
Bonneville & Escort?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:35, Reply)
ABH and affray

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:33, Reply)
oh dear

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:03, Reply)
Is there a likelihood that his somewhat short temper will keep him perpetually in nick?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:08, Reply)
Another victim of nominative determinism.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:32, Reply)
Lol

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:34, Reply)
But did he do it?
Also, does he have a friends and family organised "free arson dave" facebook campaign I can donate to?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:35, Reply)
He totes did it

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:44, Reply)
Silly man.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:00, Reply)
"My daughter must have taken the photo and uploaded it online. I can't do it because I can't even read or write, never mind use a computer."
www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/shocking-picture-three-year-old-7900687
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:33, Reply)
fat lines

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:34, Reply)
that's too much sniff for a little child, they should just get the corner of a card at that age, terrible parenting

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:37, Reply)
and a waste

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:38, Reply)
Vision dreams of passion

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:59, Reply)
Does that child have one central nostril?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:37, Reply)
Clearly he's done so much he's ended up like danniella westbrook

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:40, Reply)
I was somewhat surprised to read that David Schneider is into BDSM and visits spanking establishments to engage in the whipping of women.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:38, Reply)
after googling his name
I've discovered they are making a second series of Josh. fucking hell
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:41, Reply)

neid wimm
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:43, Reply)
I liked him on The Friday Night Armistice and as the top bollocks at the BBC in Alan Partridge.
But these day's he just posts not very funny things on twitter and cringeworthy photoshops that he's had a minion do for him.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:11, Reply)
what's the difference between slander and libel?
Well, slander is when you say something false or untrue about someone, and libel is the little tag that tells Australians how to wash their clothes.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:42, Reply)
Fuck sake Godby.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:59, Reply)
jesus godby

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:04, Reply)
you're the worst, godby

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:11, Reply)
What language does Cilla Black's hairdresser speak?
Urdu.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:12, Reply)
Hugh Bonneville's used dildo to be used to gag James Corden.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:09, Reply)

gag write
+'s next tv series
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 14:18, Reply)
So what have we learned this week?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:03, Reply)
I've not learned much as I've been incredibly tired for most of it.
I guess I learned I like Spiral/Engrenages as I've watched quite a lot of it.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:07, Reply)
Is it subtitled?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:08, Reply)
Yeah.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:12, Reply)
Cool
Might give that a crack
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:15, Reply)
If you can get on US Netflix it's on there.
Or TPB.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:16, Reply)
That a hotel can actually do a good cooked breakfast.
And it will cost you a fiver to get it delivered to your room the cunts
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:07, Reply)
Headline
"Hotel Overcharges Unsuspecting Idiot"
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:10, Reply)
Alright Rupert you utter prick

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:12, Reply)
q. why does rupert the bear wear yellow trousers?

a. because he's a cunt
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:15, Reply)
Some cunt's bullying mongy over on board.
Get your fingers out of that dog and get banhammering, The LOVELY Modolith.
also, 'ning.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Haha, oh dear oh dear

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:40, Reply)

twitter.com/robmanuel/status/728151381652082689
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:48, Reply)
Not clicking that link soz.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:50, Reply)
+might be a super injunction

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:51, Reply)
Prince lives!

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:54, Reply)
this is well exciting

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:55, Reply)
Do you think if we say that Hugh Bonneville slept with helen wood and likes a dildo up the bum enough times he'll have to close down B3ta forever?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:56, Reply)
Maybe he's a big gay spaz who likes it up the bumbum from paid sex workers?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:58, Reply)
It certainly wouldn't surprise me now if it was confirmed that Hugh Bonneville is a big gay spaz who likes it up the bumbum from paid sex workers

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:00, Reply)
I wasn't going to mention Hugh Bonneville's name in the context of being a big gay spaz who likes it up the bumbum from paid sex workers.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:03, Reply)
I dunno who either of them are.
Are they QOTWers?
Only putting an injunction out on poor mongy seems like the sort of thing that crybaby autism bedwetters from QOTW that like a dildo up their bum might do.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:01, Reply)
I'll tell you what, LOVELY stuj,
I won't be able to watch Paddington, anymore.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:04, Reply)
I will
but I'll have to masturbate first
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:08, Reply)
Nicole Kidman could stuff me and mount me, any day of the week.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:14, Reply)
how come rob says he deleted the post that says Hugh Bonneville slept with helen wood and likes a dildo up the bum
yet I can still see the post that says Hugh Bonneville slept with helen wood and likes a dildo up the bum?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:08, Reply)
the tweet is from 2.15am
i guess it wasn't mongy after all
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:14, Reply)
I can only assume that there was an earlier post elsewhere on B3ta that said Hugh Bonneville slept with helen wood and likes a dildo up the bum

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:14, Reply)
The Daily Mail describes Helen Wood as "Wayne Rooney prostitute".
Do you think she puts on a bald cap before sticking dildos up Hugh Bonneville's bumbum?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:20, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:32, Reply)
HOUI!

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:14, Reply)
I'm in a presentation about HTTP caching
I'm not learning much
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:09, Reply)
Sorry Grrrmachine, I fell asleep while reading that post

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:10, Reply)
I'm nodding off myself
But there are free biscuits
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:27, Reply)

dd sh
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:30, Reply)
oh my

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:33, Reply)
if I can suck it, I bloody well will

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:08, Reply)
i've learnt that spanishfly is a lazy idiot who doesn't know the value of money
also, i learnt to treat everyone with respect and kindness
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:09, Reply)
Ah, that's nice
The bit about spanishfly, I mean
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:10, Reply)
Do you know that is so so accurate.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:13, Reply)
it's one of those lines you can use to describe most people

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:24, Reply)
what is the value of money then?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:41, Reply)
i dunno, i'm a lazy idiot

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:42, Reply)
Isn't that the one with Paul Newman in it?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:48, Reply)
Oh, I also learnt there's a paper that was recently launched but it doesn't exist any more.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:13, Reply)
McBeef calls it "The Poo Gay"

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:15, Reply)

rip in peace
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:17, Reply)
Haha, brilliant
*trombones*
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:19, Reply)
i thought that was what we called mcbeef

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:23, Reply)
EXCUSE ME

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:23, Reply)
well that sounded pretty gay, m8

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:33, Reply)
Alright, Poo Gay

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
what like a paper aeroplane that was thrown into a volcano?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:15, Reply)
I guess that's an acceptable simile.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:17, Reply)
phew

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:24, Reply)
that Hugh Bonneville slept with helen wood and likes a dildo up the bum

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:31, Reply)
Couple of glasses of sherry
and Helen Might!
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:32, Reply)
she's a prostitute, i think you have to pay her cash

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:33, Reply)
savages

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:33, Reply)
i wonder if i have broken the injuction by posting this, i'm not really up on the whole legal side of things, i'll leave that to the forums legal team

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:35, Reply)
rip internetlawyerman qc

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:37, Reply)
i wonder if he ever did pass the bar exams

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:39, Reply)
well, i know i never like to pass a bar
oh hahaha
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:44, Reply)
they were on jools again the other day

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:37, Reply)
Hugh Bonneville and a prostitute?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:38, Reply)
no wonder he wants it kept quiet, thats disgusting

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:39, Reply)
maybe, i don't watch it. it would certainly make for an avant garde performance
but i meant savages
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:43, Reply)
I don't know what that is, soz
Old, remember
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:21, Reply)
they're a young band that sound a bit like some old bands so they can appeal to old people just like you

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:23, Reply)
this, plus the guitarist is my mate from college

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:31, Reply)
sure, "mate"

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:32, Reply)
Are you saying Beardolith's a groupie?
Because that's what it sounds like The LOVELY Hatso.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:38, Reply)
All I'm saying
Is that we should let the facts speak for themselves
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:44, Reply)
And the facts are that manolith sucks off bouncers and roadies for a chance to suck off drummers and bassists,
in order to try to get to suck off a guitarist?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)
Sorry, there's a super injunction out, and I'm legally obliged to say no more on the subject
*eyes wide, nods repeatedly*
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:50, Reply)
Knew it.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:51, Reply)
I thought the whole point about super-injunctions was that you'd be in violation of the super-injunction if you mentioned the super-injunction.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:55, Reply)
What happens if you put a super injunction on the super injunction?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:59, Reply)
I'm not allowed to say.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:01, Reply)

media1.giphy.com/media/12KiGLydHEdak8/giphy.gif
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:01, Reply)
Google implodes.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:01, Reply)
i did kiss her once
at a bus stop
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:48, Reply)
sure, "her"

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)
you're just jelly because the closest you've come to snogging a rock star is when iggy pop spit in your mouth

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:56, Reply)
at least he was a gentleman

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:57, Reply)
a gentleman carved out of rotting wood, maybe

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:10, Reply)
Inevitible strikethrough alert.
once penis
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:57, Reply)
that was woodside in a dress

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:00, Reply)
+ again.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:02, Reply)
he's doing alright for himself then
are you enjoying being an outlaw? you've already got 2can trying to ride your coat-tails
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:06, Reply)
i believe that celebrity bumholes are in the public interest

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:13, Reply)
Hey, I LOVE old bands!

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:31, Reply)
well, they made 'proper' music back then, didn't they?
with real instruments and everything
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
and you could hear the words

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:42, Reply)
Like The Duke Spirit?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:38, Reply)

The
Spirit Silver
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/Duke-Silver-Come-Love-Me/dp/B00G5828UG
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:59, Reply)
I do like Nick Offerman.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:03, Reply)
So you could say Hugh Bonneville likes it, wait for it... UP THE BOURNVILLE!!

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:49, Reply)
you can say that, i wouldn't dream of saying such a thing incase his lawyers are forum members here

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:56, Reply)
They usually forget to apply the injunctions in Scotland.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:01, Reply)
Depends where b3ta is hosted, I suppose.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:32, Reply)
norwich probably

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:37, Reply)
US innit?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:38, Reply)
Excellent, we can say what we like.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:45, Reply)
I'm not sure that's how the law works but I don't know enough about it to dispute it.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:04, Reply)
Too late now, anyway.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:22, Reply)
One in the Mister Stink.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:50, Reply)
willy

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 11:54, Reply)
I learnt that you're a fucking idiot cunt prick horse slasher prick fucking cunt wanker.
Not really. I learned how the London Mayoral elections work and also that i don't care in the slightest.
Also, sorry for that up there, you're alright. For a fucking idiot cunt prick horse slasher prick fucking cunt wanker.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:00, Reply)
That's ok
I just appreciate the attention
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:21, Reply)
life ain't that great

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:18, Reply)
oh, it's not that bad really
food's pretty good
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:33, Reply)
That rogan josh is a bugger to clean out of a keyboard.

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:22, Reply)
yikes

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:34, Reply)
Just pinged a key across the office.
Don't think anyone noticed, though.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
which key?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:46, Reply)
The shortcut menu key.
Got the right Ctrl of with less of a flourish.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:57, Reply)
tim

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:14, Reply)
poo and wee

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:22, Reply)
woah
poo or wee, surely?
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
I can do both

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:46, Reply)
show off

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:52, Reply)
football is a funny old game

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Not just funny
It's hilarious!
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:47, Reply)
I dint lern nuffin

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
Slugs have 27,000 teeth
there
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:47, Reply)
*godby alarm*

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)
My uncle is a slug dentist, so he'd know

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:51, Reply)
Are you sure he said slug dentist and not drug enthusiast?

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:21, Reply)
So that's why The LOVELY Sammi kept stuffing slugs up herself after her clungeteeth rotted away.
It all makes sense now.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 12:53, Reply)
*spews*
cheers Stuj
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:21, Reply)
i've learned the value of true friendship

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:08, Reply)
nice

(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:16, Reply)
11p.
AICMFP
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 13:16, Reply)

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