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Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
Pages: Latest, 229, 228, 227, 226, 225, ... 1

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Tell your children you hate them.
Hopefully they'll stop nagging you about stupid childish shit.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 11:33, 2 replies, latest was 2 minutes ago)
make sure you mention suicide, attempted suicides and death of loved ones no matter what the qotw subject matter.
This will prove to all readers that you are very much a weepy mess and probably from Australia.
(, Sun 28 Sep 2014, 9:54, 4 replies, latest was 11 hours ago)
Blind people...
...Save money by buying broken lightbulbs secondhand, instead of expensive new ones.
(, Sat 27 Sep 2014, 9:14, 1 reply, 2 days ago)
Deaf househunters
Consider the value proposition of houses at the ends of airport runways.....
(, Fri 26 Sep 2014, 19:01, Reply)
Bent phone?
Try not to bend it, you clumsy twat.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 17:27, Reply)
Pacify sanctimonious types by living in a stone house and throwing glasses.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 8:51, Reply)
Make dance remixes of your favourite songs...
...by scratching the fuck out of the CD with a nail.
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
Good evening.

(, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 22:37, Reply)
FRIEND.

(, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 22:05, Reply)
#bafrkru

(, Fri 19 Sep 2014, 11:11, Reply)
people talking
block doorways, ATMs, and exits while you engage in conversation.
Feel offended when some wants to move past or use the area which you are blocking.
(, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:34, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
Replace irregular newsletters
By simply reading everything posted on the site
(, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 7:26, Reply)
Don't bother to post Top Tips because there will never be another newsletter for them to appear in

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:35, Reply)
Annoy sanctimonious types by living in a glass house and throwing stones.

(, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)
2 Can Chunder is an ideal Savile look-a-like now Sir Jimmy is dead, he even has the same interests!

(, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 18:35, Reply)
MEATSNAKE's penis makes an ideal penis for mice.

(, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 18:25, Reply)
smaller objects that bear minimal resemblance to larger objects make ideal smaller versions of these larger objects suitable for use by mice
Ha ha yeah
(, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 8:11, Reply)
Mini babybel cheeses, opened, with a lego minifigure arm pushed in the top,
make ideal 'stones' for a game of curling for mice.

Just make sure they dont eat the 'stones' though...
(, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 9:35, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Scotland: Just fuck off already
Bawbags
(, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 1:45, Reply)
Peppa Pig
Makes an ideal 'freddie kruger' for muslims or jews.
(, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 0:56, Reply)
food banks,
are like supermarkets, but theyre FREE...
(, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 0:50, Reply)
Looking for the abbreviation of a certain word?
Type it into Google followed by "abbrev".
(, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 23:28, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)
Cyclists.
Look more professional by writing the word 'Sky' all over yourself hundreds of times using Tipp-Ex
(, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 19:24, Reply)
Want to launder some money you made from your books websites and adverts?
Kickstarter, Justgiving and Gofundme are perfect for your nefarious cash cleansing schemes, just sock puppet it, no one will ever notice.
(, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 11:02, Reply)
Disposable contact lenses make an ideal Center Parcs for amoebas.

(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 19:46, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
Are you a commuter? Got a scooter?
Then fucking stop using it you're an adult and you look like a twat.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:18, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Walking on the pavement?
Speed the fuck up, dickhead.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 0:19, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Pretend that every other account on here is just one very busy guy.
That's what I do.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 0:17, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
linda mcartney sausages
make ideal dildoes for vegan women, I should imagine....
(, Sun 31 Aug 2014, 16:55, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Today, I've been told by an ex-military driver
that the trick they use to be able to stay awake all night on dark featureless roads, is to stimulate themselves with one hand and stay on the cusp of an orgasm for as long as possible. This may be common knowledge to everyone here, but its the first time I've heard this.

Just be careful if you're a coach driver.
(, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:36, 2 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

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