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Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Masturbating in the train?
Best to do it in the toilet otherwise you might upset people
(, Thu 21 May 2015, 16:11, 1 reply, 14 hours ago)
Confuse the world,
by being homosexual drunken bakers and refusing to make cakes for anybody.
(, Wed 20 May 2015, 18:19, Reply)
Enjoy all the fun of the fair
by staying in and drinking a litre of cheap sherry.
(, Wed 20 May 2015, 10:58, Reply)
Convince people you are a sex offender,
By going to the train station with binoculars and a notepad.
(, Wed 20 May 2015, 10:58, Reply)
I want my missus to back.
Her car.
Into the drive without hitting the pillar, just for once.
Earlier than planned.
(, Mon 18 May 2015, 19:55, Reply)
Want your missus to be back earlier than planned?
simply type 'youporn' into google.
(, Sun 17 May 2015, 14:37, Reply)
Here's a tip, fuck off.

(, Wed 13 May 2015, 13:28, Reply)
Convince people you are the leader of a political party
by resigning before lunchtime
(, Fri 8 May 2015, 20:02, Reply)
Labour.
Get into power, by not being quite so shit.
(, Fri 8 May 2015, 14:34, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Hear that, Mr Clegg?
The coalition is like prison. If you bend over, you'll get fucked.
(, Fri 8 May 2015, 6:11, Reply)
Conservatives.
Get to stay in power, by not being quite so shit.
(, Thu 7 May 2015, 22:01, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
Vote tangledupinblue

(, Wed 6 May 2015, 20:45, Reply)
Government Security Agencies: Organise a 'Prophet Mohammad Cartoonathon',
And the nutcases will come to you without you having to look for them.
(, Tue 5 May 2015, 16:13, Reply)
Wrongfoot GCHQ snoops listening on your illicit phone drug deals
by referring to Special K as 'Ketamine' and having nothing on you when you bust you in the cereal aisle of Tesco. Imagine their embarrassment!
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 19:51, Reply)
Refugees!
Don't forget to pack your life jackets!
(, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 18:18, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
If, for a reason that at the time seemed a perfectly logical dare,
DONT stand on something to enable you to put your penis into a Dyson Airblade hand dryer, as it feels like its ripping the skin off and is still tender the following day.
(, Sat 18 Apr 2015, 10:55, Reply)
if you're sat around at home, make new friends on the telephone

(, Fri 17 Apr 2015, 16:14, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
Hot Balls
Try an ice cube !
(, Thu 16 Apr 2015, 22:56, Reply)
Just had a really smelly shit? Light a match.
Your toilet will now smell of both horrible poo and burnt matches.
(, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 23:03, Reply)
Add a dash of Worcestershire Sauce to your Bloody Mary
to hide the abhorrent flavours of all the other ingredients.
(, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 23:01, 1 reply, 5 weeks ago)
If you're feeling tired
try sleeping for a while. If it's not a convenient place or time to sleep, a little sit down might do the trick.
(, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:30, Reply)
If you have any toilet cleaner left over
it makes a perfectly good cola
(, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:13, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
If you have any leftover cola that's gone flat, it makes a perfectly good toilet cleaner

(, Tue 7 Apr 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Pretend you're a black stand up comedian
By laughing at how stupid white people are.
(, Mon 6 Apr 2015, 15:02, Reply)
Lefties
watch all tv via a mirror and everyone looks normal
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 22:35, 1 reply, 8 weeks ago)
Be wack
by not listening to Fleetwood Mac
(, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 21:00, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Clarkson for PM

(, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 19:35, Reply)
Enjoy a perfect solar eclipse
by closing your fridge door really slowly.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 8:58, 2 replies, latest was 2 months ago)
To avoid robot apocalypse,
make sure you store your terminators in a cupboard.
(, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:14, Reply)

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