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Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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(, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:59, Reply)
Stop bein a right mardarse moaning cunt.

(, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 17:51, Reply)
Wouldn't it be good if there was some sort of online forum where every week there was a new question anyone in the world could answer.
Top Tip: create a website where questions are asked every 7 days
(, Sat 28 Feb 2015, 21:09, 1 reply, 3 days ago)
When building a coil for your vaping device strum the coil. This will blah blah fiaeh

(, Sat 28 Feb 2015, 2:23, Reply)
Save money at Channel 4
by combining Benefits Street and Immigration Street because, surely, statistically, some immigrants are benefit claimants, and vice versa. And also, surely, statistically, one of them might be a paedoe, so you could call it 'The Immigrant Peadoe Next Door on Benefits Street.'

Fuck it, why not press every button and make 'The HIV-Positive Terrorist Peaeadoeeaeeoe Immigrant Tax-Avoiding Drug Dealing Single Mother Alcoholic Pavement Cyclist on Benefits Street' - then any Daily Mail readers who happen to watch it would explode.

Or did I go too far with 'pavement cyclist'?


(, Wed 25 Feb 2015, 18:38, Reply)
Save money on photocopying by just doing a drawing of whatever it is you want to copy.

(, Tue 24 Feb 2015, 12:27, 2 replies, latest was 1 week ago)
Save money on joining an expensive running club
By hanging around outside for them to come out and then just run after them.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2015, 18:24, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
Feel happy, fulfilled, and full of love
by accepting Jesus.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2015, 13:03, Reply)
Keep slugs and snails away from your vegetable patch by digging a moat 6-9 inches deep by 12 inches wide around the outside and filling it with molten lava.

(, Mon 16 Feb 2015, 21:45, Reply)
White hard water spots in the bottom of a stainless steel saucepan?
Cover the base with white vinegar and add the same amount again of water, and leave it for half an hour before rinsing out and washing up as normal.
(, Sun 15 Feb 2015, 23:28, Reply)
Fat people dangling over their shopping trollies in Tescos: Rather than using the trolley to support your weight, why not pick up the handle and wheel it like a wheelbarrow instead you disgusting slobs.
This will also have the advantage of encouraging you to put less in the trolley.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 12:28, Reply)
Scared of making loud noises in public toilets while doing a poo?
Don't worry, just furiously masturbate and drop your guts. The sound of masturbating is calming to other people's ears.
(, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 17:34, Reply)
Boy Racers,
Do your reckless driving in thick fog or post snow slush, both of which will cover your rear number plate from GATSO cameras.
(, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:26, Reply)
Before including links to other websites in your online newsletter consider making sure they work.

(, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 10:53, Reply)
Want to improve your life immensely?
Help Get Monty The George the Hofmeister Bear Costume
(, Thu 29 Jan 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Ads on b3ta can be suppressed, if you've donated money towards the running of the site.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 9:38, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
Also, b3ta loads about five times faster if you hide the clickbait uvt ads, not much incentive for people to keep them visible

(, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 22:42, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
When writing adverts for your 'other' site you'll probably get more consistent clickthroughs if they don't regularly open an empty window entitled "about:blank" and then hang for the next 30-60 seconds before timing out.

(, Sun 18 Jan 2015, 17:13, Reply)
Probably better off not drawing a cartoon of Mohammed

(, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 16:14, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Central crushing chest pain radiating into your arm and neck and associated with sweating and breathlessness?
Take 2 paracetamol and drink plenty of fluids, there's a lot of it about at this time of year.
(, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 10:32, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Getting fit for the new year? Taken up a new sport?
3 week old sprouts make excellent squash balls.
(, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 9:15, Reply)
Don't click the UsVsTh3m ad in the top right, it's invariably not worth your time.

(, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 23:07, Reply)
Christmas is over
you can fucking shut up about sprouts now.
(, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:45, Reply)
Ensure people know you support a political cause by updating your Facebook status.

(, Thu 8 Jan 2015, 10:08, Reply)
if you cant afford a decent t.v. just watch your shit one through binoculars
it makes everything look like imax
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 16:53, Reply)
Before masturbating, sit on your hand AND your knob, so it feels like you're watching someone wank someone else off.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 9:28, Reply)
No spray, no lay
No splash, no gash
No Armani, no punani

freshen up, up, up
(, Sun 4 Jan 2015, 14:55, Reply)
surprise London Transport staff...
by cutting the chip out of your oyster card and fitting it in a wizard's wand. They get on the tube dressed as any fictitious wizard of your choice
(, Sun 4 Jan 2015, 12:44, 1 reply, 7 weeks ago)
Save money on expensive Top Tips
by reusing ones from a previous newsletter
(, Sun 4 Jan 2015, 10:16, Reply)
Save money on expensive 'oysters' by eating a used condom from an egg shell.

(, Sun 4 Jan 2015, 0:32, Reply)

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