I'm going to ottery st mary for the tar barrels tomorrow night
www.otterytarbarrels.co.uk/

are you doing anything exciting involving fire?

unfortunately it won't be as good as what I'm doing, but tell me anyway
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I shall be going to the nearest Catholic church and lighting a candle for the little baby Jesus.
And pray that my cold has gone by Friday.
( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:36, Reply)

am I likely to get people all het up if the racist chappy who started throwing around SERIOUS ONLINE THREATS..
..gets added to the Archive?

I'd hate to cause upset.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:49, Reply)

wouldn't have thought so
I think everyone could agree that he failed on a tremendous scale.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:51, Reply)

He's already in the Archive once..
...and I've been sent a whole pile of his other Fails, the daft racist.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:54, Reply)

If anyone's interested he has Previous.
Check the post called 'club card'.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:56, Reply)

I read that earlier
he's not a great loss to b3ta
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:59, Reply)

There's a few more of his on there now as well.

( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:04, Reply)

arg
got too distracted reading other ones.

Still not sure my entry deserves to be on there....
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:15, Reply)

They ALL say that.

( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:16, Reply)

haha
touché
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Which one's yours?

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

King of Comedy

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 22:04, Reply)

This is an OUTRAGE
He was just some poor, defenceless, mentally ill soul who needed hugs and love and fluff and attention. YOU LOT DON'T EVEN DESERVE THE RIGHT TO LOOK AT HIM
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:55, Reply)

I'd probably melt in the his gaze of pure Accord and racism.

( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Smoking?
I'm disapointed that I haven't got any hate filled gazes today.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:36, Reply)

good man
smoking, as we all know, makes you look cool.

this is not sarcasm.

do you mean gazzes, or gazes?
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

gazzes/gazes, you know what I mean.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:43, Reply)

I wanted to clarify
if no one had sent you messages full of hate, or if you usually got people looking at you with hate in their eyes.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:44, Reply)

are you actually carrying a flaming barrel?

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

no, I'm not inbred enough
I went to school in that town, and some of the guys I was at school with do it.

the guys with the barrels (usually 5 or 6 per barrel, one at a time) run through the incredibly crowded streets with them. My plan is to get really drunk and try and get as close as possible.

Previous years have shown this to be a thoroughly enjoyable way of spending an evening
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I'm sure that I could come up with something more exciting than watching wood burn.
Such as throwing rocks at that crazy bitch across the street.
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:41, Reply)

it is impossible to get across to someone how awesome the event is
by merely using words or pictures. videos are better, but still nothing like being there, in amongst 25,000 people, with inbred nutters (mostly rugby players or that build) running as fast as they can with a flaming barrel as big as they can carry.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:43, Reply)

I'll be honest, it does seem cool
but I hate people and you certainly fucking wouldn't catch me around 25,000
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:45, Reply)

it does get pretty nuts
and if you don't like crowds it really isn't the place to be.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:46, Reply)

He is carrying a torch for me : )

( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:40, Reply)

"burn the witch"

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:44, Reply)

ding dong

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I've been accused of worse.

( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:50, Reply)

i assume
they will be giving out FREE croissants at this event.
(Cancer Joyeux Noel was short lived, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:41, Reply)

if only
it's more of a greasy burger or hog roast type of thing
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Oooooh hog roast
*drools*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:22, Reply)

I'll be going to a little
fireworks thingy in Essex, that should be fun, I don't think I did anything fireworks related last year! :)

I’ve also just had really exciting work related news so I’m having a very good day today! Huzah!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:44, Reply)

what's the good news?
or is it classified?
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I'm moving departments
which is mucho exciting as I’m currently having ‘personality clashes’ in my current position, so I am pleased I am shuffling over! Whoop whoop awoooga!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:51, Reply)

has someone not taken to you bouncing around the place
being terminally enthusiastic?
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:00, Reply)

You could say that.
Although I would say its more like, they haven’t taken to me full-stop.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:05, Reply)

in what way?
without wanting to appear pandering, and obviously I haven't met you, but you seem like one of those people that it's hard to dislike.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Well first off, thank you! :)
Secondly, the answer would be jealousy, I didn’t think this was the explanation until I spoke to some other people and they have told me that’s the reason… not really something I can fix! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:21, Reply)

that's pretty weird
had they been going out of their way to not like you? if you see what I mean
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:23, Reply)

Sounds like the kind of thing I'd do
If somebody's too nice, sometimes you just have to destroy them.

Not Flim Flam though, she's alright
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I think so yes.
I have tried, I don’t like not being liked but then I do have to realise I can’t float everyone’s boat.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:30, Reply)

I float everyone's boat
but then I am huge and made of water.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Water sinks boats
you silly sod
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:32, Reply)

it floats them more
I should know, I'm a coastal and rivers engineer after all
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

I haven’t said this for awhile but…
*smugs*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I know I'm smug
that's the beauty of it. I don't have a problem with it.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Hehe I know
I just realised you hadn't said anything particularly smug for a few days! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

well, when I say I'm ok with it
I am now. I've tried hard to tone it down.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Are you...?
Ooooooh. Sure they float on it, but it isn't the water itself that makes them float, is it?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:38, Reply)

well
they wouldn't float if the water (or other dense fluid medium) wasn't there so it is safe to say that the water does float them
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:43, Reply)

No it doesn't
SPACEGRAVITY does
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:46, Reply)

*shakes head*
oh bert....
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Oh Vipros
all those years wasted studying wrongscience, and I come on here and totally debunk everything you know with one little post
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:55, Reply)

shocking stuff
the foundations of my understanding have been badly shaken
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:00, Reply)

That won't stop me from trying
*gurns*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:22, Reply)

oh bert
*shakes head*
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:24, Reply)

I replied to your message without reading the context
Flim Flam's one of those lovely, charming people that it's almost impossible to dislike, I think she's pretty woo (from what I've seen anyway).

...and this is precisely why I'm going to have to kill her

EDIT Nope, couldn't do it. Too mean, can't be mean to her, she's too damn likeable
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:25, Reply)

I was going to say
who are you, and what have you done with bert. then I read the last line.

*slowly shakes head*
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I edited though!
Even I can't dislike the bloody little webpixie
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

good lord
*has a stiff drink*
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Webpixie?
I like that! :)

Is that my official title - Flim-Flam, Webpixie (I might get business cards made up)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Go for it!

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Huzah!
I will!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Don’t kill me,
I have so much more candy floss to consume, things to doodle and shoes to purchase.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:32, Reply)

bleurgh candy floss
I'm glad having a beard means I can't eat it
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Hahaha I
had never really thought of the restraints a beard causes to eating certain foods!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:35, Reply)

it's mainly bubble gum and candyfloss
I have to be careful how I drink as well, tipping a pint glass up too far means that water runs through my moustache, round the sides of my mouth to my chin and then dribbles down my front.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Ha-ha
spastic drinker
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

how does the
cunnilingus fare..or even its sexy brown cousin, analingus .

My pal grew a big old viking beard, it's ginger and it makes him look like a homeless insane,
(Cancer Joyeux Noel was short lived, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I've developed a technqiue
that means it's not a problem, for cunnilingus at least
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:44, Reply)

good man
i like your candidness
(Cancer Joyeux Noel was short lived, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:47, Reply)

well
no sense beating around the bush
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Arf arf arf
I love that song by AC/DC... I never realised how rude it was as a kiddie!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

I like their song
Sink the pink
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

They had many rude songs
I'm starting to understand why my mother didn't like me listening to them when I was little.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

indeed they did
I doubt my mum would notice that kind of thing. or care.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:57, Reply)

That was the reaction my dad had
I think my mum was slightly more concerned
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

It's alright
I think you get away with being likeable because you come across as quite modest and sweet, and you're married to DiT, so that makes you ok too.

Blech, I'm off to wash myself with Domestos
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Groovy
*dances*
It’s all Gouda
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:36, Reply)

You do realise that this'll be the end of me?

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Shhhh
We won't tell anyone!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Ok
Mind if I pretend to hate you?

You bloody GIRLFACE
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Crack on
You gotta do, wha'cha gotta do bub
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:42, Reply)

I bet you've got six nipples
and DiT milks you at night
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:47, Reply)

and one of the nipples
is 6 inches long, and very, very hard.
(Cancer Joyeux Noel was short lived, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

*shudders*
you reminded me of my ex
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

This thread is making me feel sick.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Kill it, Chompy
kill it like only you can
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

you make me think somebody already has been

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Haha
You love it! ;-)

I've met you IRL remember, I know you're all fluffeh really!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Nope I've just got the two
Sorry to upset you.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

I'm going to call you sixnips the webpixie from now on

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Fair dos
I think you're just upset because you actually have a third nipple and you're trying to find fault with other people to make yourself feel better.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:55, Reply)

I wish I did
I'd call him Bipple, and I'd show him to old ladies in the street
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

But where would he be?
On your back or your front?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

In their mouths, mostly

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Haha
Nice.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

is gouda one of the ones that smells like feet?
no, hang on, that's gruyere
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Nah
Gouda's more Edam-y
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:39, Reply)

This
^
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I've recently changed offices
This one is on the top floor of a modern building where the reception area has no ceiling - all the floors have this cut-out where you can look all the way down. This does not combine well with my terrible vertigo. :-(
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Blimey
I wouldn’t like that either, still it might go someway to treating your fears, that or it'll exacerbate them!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:12, Reply)

doesn't sound nice to me either
bloody fear of heights
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:16, Reply)

It's no fun
I shall try and peer over every day, see if it gets easier, but so far it hasn't.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 18:09, Reply)

I'm going left
because the righty-ness was hurting me
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

well done that man
the last few days of sliding over to the right have been terrible
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I NOE
It's like way rubbish and that, and all the posts end
up
like
this
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Oh yes
It is much better over here
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Hiya Sixnips!
How's it going in the Magical Forest today?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

So so,
some bloody hobgoblin with three nips is causing me agro by pissing on the enchanted toadstools.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Damned Hobgoblins
Can't you give the professor a call and have him banished?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Nope
He's out eating pie again.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Shoot its cock off

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Ta
See you are nice really
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:18, Reply)

Of course I am
I'm imagining you as a six nippled pixie shooting the cock off an make-believe hobgoblin. What's not to love?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

*shoots*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Cheerio!

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:30, Reply)

Byeeeee

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)

I’m surprised at your restraint actually,
I would have expected you to clap your hands like a Roman emperor and post ‘cr3, fix this, chopchop’
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:04, Reply)

Haha!
I don't demand things from cr3, I'm his bitch

EDIT somebody's voted the QOTW fail thread to the top of the popular page! Oof!
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:05, Reply)

Oh I see

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent Althegeordie *shakes fist*, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:10, Reply)