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This is a question Oblique Strategies for Work

We want you to share solutions that solved work problems - but don't explain the problem it solved.

The idea is that someone else, when they have a problem can read this and see if your solution jolts them out of their problem.

(This is obviously a tribute to Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies cards which were filled with stuff like "add backing vocals")

(, Tue 15 May 2018, 10:45)
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Beer is liquid bread

(, Fri 18 May 2018, 15:31, 1 reply, 2 days ago)
Empathise,
..and apportion the blame to their predecessor.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:49, Reply)
screenshots and blackmail
works every time
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:07, Reply)
No two trees are the same.
This is a feature, not an error.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:23, Reply)
Check the finish before changing an orifice.
A leaking or dripping orifice doesn't mean it's necessarily ruined.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Rather than cut the male and female separately,
cut together as two layers.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:18, Reply)
Kill them.
Kill them all.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 7:13, Reply)
Ignore instructions that are clearly racist
Lie to racist client if you are just an oil rag and he is a chief engineer

Never be in first on a Saturday morning when the shop is next to a late night pizza/kebab shop
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 23:13, Reply)
scream in your employees' faces to do some fucking work I'm not paying you to watch videos of cats singing all day

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Double-check the cabling sequence to make sure there's only one loop, not two.

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:09, Reply)
Prioritise two things, set a deadline, and wait until there’s only time to do one of them
You can half-arse both, or fuck one of them off entirely and do the other one all proper
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 20:25, Reply)
turn off all the vdus

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 19:15, Reply)
if it involves photocopied or printed pages to work off, replace everything between the first page and last page
with photocopies of whatever is on the first page or last page, discard the original pages.. wait for the deadline.. throw the secretly reformatted material on the bosses desk and loudly ask what the fuck you are supposed to do with it..
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 17:03, Reply)
Push her down the stairs.

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 16:42, 1 reply, 3 days ago)
Set up forum threads on a website to get free content
Then disperse content using, I don't know, say, an email newsletter, to subscribers who are paying for the content they provided through a donation system
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 16:34, 2 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
Include a domino mask in your costume
and train your first born son to act on your stead.
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 15:14, Reply)
Lock inconvenient documents
in a broom cupboard when the auditors arrive
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 12:09, Reply)
Try and add a bottle opener into the design

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 10:47, Reply)
It may seem counterintuitive but,
ironically, your intuition may prove more beneficial than a targeting computer.
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 9:45, Reply)
Check the batteries first ...
... before dismantling the "faulty" item.
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 8:51, Reply)

All bread is latent toast.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 23:35, Reply)
Put a cordon on and let someone else make the decision

(, Wed 16 May 2018, 23:03, 1 reply, 3 days ago)
Build a tower out of bits and bobs

(, Wed 16 May 2018, 22:35, Reply)
Arrange for everyone in the office except the annoying twat to come in two hours later on a given day

(, Wed 16 May 2018, 21:54, Reply)
Get *EVERYONE ELSE* to change their seats
That'll teach him.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 21:38, Reply)
Don't solve any problems.
Otherwise people will start bringing problems to you.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 20:19, Reply)
Write a bot to do your work,
but don't tell anyone.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:43, 3 replies, latest was 3 days ago)
Learn skills with a stupid, fun personal project,
not on a real boring project.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:43, 1 reply, 4 days ago)
Sit in the stationery cupboard for twenty minutes

(, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:09, Reply)

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