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This is a question Oblique Strategies for Work

We want you to share solutions that solved work problems - but don't explain the problem it solved.

The idea is that someone else, when they have a problem can read this and see if your solution jolts them out of their problem.

(This is obviously a tribute to Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies cards which were filled with stuff like "add backing vocals")

(, Tue 15 May 2018, 10:45)
Pages: Latest, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Find the weakest team member and befriend them
You become a great team player to your colleagues and indispensible to management. If you choose well, there might even be a shag in it
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 23:08, Reply)
Appear helpful by always saying yes when asked to do more work
Then follow it up by asking which higher priority item in your full schedule they don't want you to do. A few iterations of that and they stop asking.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:03, Reply)
Book 'confidential' meetings at 4pm every day so no one can add you to their meeting
and thereby prevent you from going home when you want to.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 20:38, Reply)
Let salespeople only give presentations to junior staff with no purchasing authority

(, Tue 22 May 2018, 0:32, Reply)
Talk to your dog/cat/rubber duck.
They'll help you figure it out.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:14, Reply)
Flip it, stick it on a wall.
If it still works, it works.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:10, Reply)
Chuck it in the sea

(, Mon 21 May 2018, 20:16, Reply)
Copy in one more person each time the tedious email on the dull issue reappears.

(, Mon 21 May 2018, 20:06, Reply)
Go for a cup of tea
then check if it's still borked when you get back.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 19:00, Reply)
Apply limes

(, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:46, Reply)
Disengage entirely

(, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:30, Reply)
I can solve two problems in one go,
by simply ordering 24 x 6mm Nylon sheave, stainless pulleys and a pile of traffic cones.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 6:05, Reply)
take the entire family down to the basement
then shoot and stab them all to death and bury their bodies in the woods
works every time
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:55, 5 replies, latest was 13 hours ago)
Find broken, discarded tech around the office, move it to your desk and complain to technical support that "it just stopped working"
Free replacement monitor!
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 11:10, Reply)
It's 'personnel'
Two N's, one L.
Not the other way around.
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:10, Reply)
Zipties
Are not affected by hydrochloride.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 22:31, Reply)
An issue came up in stock control at tesco;
I just covered the "berland" part of the pie label with the price reduction sticker.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 17:18, Reply)
Ctrl-Shift-t (cmd-shift-t on a Mac)
Brings back the last closed tab or window in your browser.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 15:42, Reply)
Beer is liquid bread

(, Fri 18 May 2018, 15:31, 1 reply, 5 days ago)
Empathise,
..and apportion the blame to their predecessor.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:49, Reply)
screenshots and blackmail
works every time
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:07, Reply)
No two trees are the same.
This is a feature, not an error.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:23, Reply)
Check the finish before changing an orifice.
A leaking or dripping orifice doesn't mean it's necessarily ruined.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Rather than cut the male and female separately,
cut together as two layers.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:18, 1 reply, 5 hours ago)
Kill them.
Kill them all.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 7:13, Reply)
Ignore instructions that are clearly racist
Lie to racist client if you are just an oil rag and he is a chief engineer

Never be in first on a Saturday morning when the shop is next to a late night pizza/kebab shop
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 23:13, Reply)
scream in your employees' faces to do some fucking work I'm not paying you to watch videos of cats singing all day

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Double-check the cabling sequence to make sure there's only one loop, not two.

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:09, Reply)
Prioritise two things, set a deadline, and wait until there’s only time to do one of them
You can half-arse both, or fuck one of them off entirely and do the other one all proper
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 20:25, Reply)
turn off all the vdus

(, Thu 17 May 2018, 19:15, Reply)

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