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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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during a sternuous
attempt to return to the womb I managed to stab the penile frenulum on the tip of a girlfriends coil.

a certain ammount of annoyance was taken on her part at what she thought was male distaste at her lunar disturbance, till she realised that a thin spray of red fluid was jetting from the newly pierced member.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 1:09, closed)
Ouch O_o
I've been waiting for the first "snapped my banjo string" story of the week... somehow this is worse :/
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 8:20, closed)

(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, closed)
Booby trapping one's fanny seems like a drastic way of saying "not tonight, darling".

Also, "lunar disturbance" makes it sound like you were shagging a werewolf.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:56, closed)
Don't werewolves
come quite shaggy already, therefore no need to shag them?
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 11:39, closed)
Rather that the standard scream of "accord" on biological grounds
I'm just going to say I hope you sent her to her doctors faster than you went to yours, chap, because if you got anywhere near it then it's come out through her cervix, and that's medically what's categorised as "a bad thing"

"lunar disturbance" though. Take a fucking bow, son, take. a. bow.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 11:55, closed)
from what i understand it's meant to lie low in the cervix and hang out partially.

I can vouch for this story on the basis that this has happened to me also. Not the piercing, but the touching of tip and coil. Not pleasant.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 12:55, closed)
It's the plastic 'strings'
attached to the base of the coil. They hang through the cervix, so to be grasped (by pliers!) when the coil needs to be removed. The coil itself is safely tucked into the uterus and doesn't poke out - or if it does, it's doctor time!

Mrs had to have her coil strings trimmed, they kept poking me in the bellend.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 1:05, closed)
..dunthat. Bloodywellhurtslikebuggery!
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:38, closed)
Had no idea that could happen.
I feel distinctly uneasy now.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 15:02, closed)
nice story.
I clicked.

It went against my better nature though, given the way you managed not to spell "strenuous"
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 15:28, closed)

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