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This is a question Control Freaks

Peej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure everybody got an equal amount and the pack provided the exact amount of servings advertised on the packet. I learned from this that the recommended serving size on a cereal packet isn't enough to feed a sparrow."

Sound familiar? Tell us more.

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 13:57)
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I know someone who always uses a teaspoon to measure out instant coffee
rather than just tipping in what they need from the jar. And they don't even change what they do if one teaspoon is of a noticealy different size to another.

In fact, I know a lot of people who do this. Pretty much everyone in fact.

Now that you mention it, I would like a lie-down.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 14:33, closed)
You'd hate the way I make tea then.
I get them to pack each one individually, in a bag.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 14:57, closed)
I saw that once, claiming each bag is just the right amount for a cup of tea.
But I gave up as I couldn't find the mug-sized bags.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 15:02, closed)
Just look out for Yorkshire Tea Bags
- one bag = 2 cups
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 15:03, closed)
Fair enough. Seems fitting too; it's not a 'cup' sort of county.
Though not being a tea drinker myself, my guests are generally limited to whatever was in the little caddy in the last Premier Inn I stayed in... :D
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 16:10, closed)
OH NO. TRIGGER.
I have to go and wash my hands now.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 15:03, closed)
Instant coffee is fucking shit.
It really doesn't matter how you measure it, as the resulting drink will still bear no resemblance to coffee anyway, so who gives a fuck.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 15:19, closed)
I think perhaps this QOTW will teach us that compromise
is essential to a calm existence.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 16:13, closed)
when I don't have access to a £4000 Heston Bluminheck's espresso machine**
ie work I don't really have a choice however that Azera stuff with the orange lid is not to shabby


** I borrowed one off Liemallow
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 16:18, closed)
Get yourself a Bodum Travel Press.
Everyone in the office envies my coffee.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 16:26, closed)
^this^
If you only have access to hot water, use a press. At home use a stove top espresso maker. I don't see the need to ever have instant.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 17:32, closed)
I use a cafetiere at work and a stove top at home. there really is no excuse for shit coffee.

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 20:13, closed)
I have a jura at home. and a stove top always burns the oils and sluts who use stove tops never clean them properly and again the oils give a stale unpleasant sour flavour. TBH I prefer instant when confronted by people who think a stove top is good. Buy
an aero press if you want cheap.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 20:46, closed)
^ cunt

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 20:47, closed)
If you haven't got
a copper briki then
you might as well fuck off now.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 21:49, closed)
Why don't you fuck off back to Muslimland?

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 22:04, closed)
'Cos I got mine in Greece you tit.
That shouldn't be too unorthodox.
(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 12:36, closed)
I have. I keep slugs and snails in it. they don't like it.

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 22:49, closed)
^ A true fact
Set the Delta to come on 5 minutes before the alarm clock so I come down to a kitchen smelling of coffee and a jug ready. Stove top perc for intense café solo, cafetiere for a more rounded intensity and another one to take to Travel Inn and Premier Lodge for proper coffee when I wake up. Oh, and a Tassimo for when people come round who don't know the difference.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 21:59, closed)
cafetiere to put chopped liver and milk into for a super posh wank to stop you crying like a home sick boarder whilst staying in shit hotels and too frightened to get a good whore

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 22:46, closed)
For fuck's sake, this thread is possibly the dullest thing I've ever seen.

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 23:01, closed)
its exactly what the internet was designed for tho

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 23:06, closed)
NO COFFEE CHAT

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 23:14, closed)
clearly your an instant man

(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 23:20, closed)
dull, polite and pleasant is the new qotw.
NO BLACKS!!!!
(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 0:01, closed)
This thread is like middle-class heaven.
I can only assume it's here to draw out the coffee poseurs prior to their execution.
(, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 23:35, closed)
This is just the biggest fail QOTW ever.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 12:38, closed)
^ drinks instant coffee

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 14:52, closed)
I like my coffee like I like my cocks.
Thick, black, and dribbling down the back of my throat.
(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 2:48, closed)
I like my coffee like my women.
White,stone cold with dead skin on top.
(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 10:00, closed)
Ground up into tiny pieces and kept in the cupboard.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 12:29, closed)
Massively overpriced and faux-Italian.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 12:30, closed)
Obtained from street corners.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 12:31, closed)
Forgotten, bitter and past their best.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 12:45, closed)
Thanklessly sponsoring b3ta.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 13:00, closed)
The PACT share price is now 5% of what it was before they started advertising here.

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 13:05, closed)
I wonder if Tesco could turn their decline around by buying newsletter space?

(, Sat 25 Oct 2014, 13:05, closed)
All down my front.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 12:37, closed)
Skinny with legs.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 13:16, closed)
With a tiny hole in the top so I can suck the contents out.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 13:45, closed)
Wrapped in corrugated cardboard.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 13:46, closed)
Covered in white creamy foam.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 13:50, closed)
Coffee sucks
It stinks. It makes your breath smell like you went down on a corpse. It takes fucking ages to make when all the poor person in the queue behind you wants to buy is a can of coke. Even coffee ice cream is shit.

Fuck off coffee. And take your shitty cousin tea with you.
(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 18:24, closed)
^ Jehovah's witness.

(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 18:50, closed)
Isn't that the Mormons?
Admittedly tea does leave you with teeth that look like sugar-puffs.
(, Sun 26 Oct 2014, 20:20, closed)

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