we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 95 : "FRENCH DOG SINGS POP"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* VIDEO - French dog sings pop
* ANIM - the return of Mr Stabby
* CHALLENGE - International Smoking Day results

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 95 - 04 Jul 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue95/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  France, Stabby, Hillbilly, Fire, Blobs & Spam


  >> French dog sings pop <<
  "Hi!" writes Sev, "I'm French and I like your
  stuff! Please go to my website." So we did
  and really enjoyed his charming low budget
  video of a nodding dog singing disgusting French
  pop. Brilliant. Evil video directors: rip this
  guy off now. Or hire him.
http://www.magentaprod.com/gonna%20party.ram


  >> Mr Stabby the magician <<
  Weebl continues his ultraviolent series of
  cartoons with this foray into light
  entertainment. We hate the ending, though.
  He should have a wank. Obviously.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/18/


  >> Hillbilly banjo varmints <<
  Everybody knows Deliverance. You might not
  have seen the film, but you'll recognise the
  tune. Dylan Mackey has made this fantastic
  Deep South-themed animation to keep it fresh
  in your mindlet.
http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~blagger/the_duel.html


  >> Zyk0tiK on fire 3 <<
  Zyk0tiK just doesn't care anymore. He's setting
  fire to himself willy-nilly. And dancing.
  Dancing. We're worried we've encouraged him
  somehow. Hope he doesn't jump off any buildings.
  Or turn lead into gold.
http://www2.b3ta.com/b/zyk0tik3/


  >> Unlucky blobs <<
  "I've just finished the second blob animation,"
  writes GR££DY. "Fate does not smile on blobs."
  A melancholic musing on the infinite badness of
  life. With bees.
http://www.distaste.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/blob2.html


  >> Scammers scammed II <<
  We've all had those Nigerian scam emails.
  Recently we brought you a guy who actually
  tracked them down and photographed them. This
  week; Ebolamonkeyman. "It started as a hobby,
  but now it's a little more than that." he says.
  He's been arranging to meet them and getting
  them to hold up comedy signs at the airport.
http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA SECOND BIRTHDAY PARTY
  Friday 18th July 2003, London UK.

  UPDATE: Now featuring the live debut of
  Dapper Clown Posse. 

  It's going to rock. Come.
http://www2.b3ta.com/party/2ndbirthday.gif


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.


  >> Nihilism for kids <<
  "I took a photo," writes Reverend Dan, "Of this
  absolute genius picture by a 6 year-old on
  Teletext." Blimey. Kids go through puberty
  earlier and earlier these days. Something
  to do with beef hormones.
http://www.datchet.demon.co.uk/teletext.jpg


  >> Japanese magic hands man <<
  Pop 'n' Music is a musical game like an
  advanced version of Simon Says. It's fucking
  difficult. Unless you're some kind of crazy
  zen maniac and play it from dawn to dusk every
  day. Like this guy obviously does. Look at
  him go. We'd love to see him wank.
http://s89.tku.edu.tw/~489192053/kusos.com.12.22.mpeg


  >> "I've got a jumbo... in my shed" <<
  Maggie Thatcher: Wonder what Denis is up to
  now? He is probably in Bloke Heaven, building 
  a 737 flight simulator, to scale using real
  parts. Like these fine fellows. Where's your
  goldtop now? Milk snatcher.
http://www.737sim.com/Updates.htm


  >> Octopus/sausage translator <<
  Won't your child eat meat? Fool them, with a
  handy and stylish device that renders a
  frankfurter into an eight-limbed denizen of
  the deep. Don't put it on your knob, though.
  Like we did. Ow - Octocock. But the ladies
  love it.
http://www.octodog.net/


  >> Earglasses <<
  "Does listening to TV make you want to squint
  your ears? Try on an Earglasses® headset
  instead. The clear reflectors magnify any
  sound you face just like cupping your hands
  behind your ears does... except your arms
  won't get tired! You may feel a bit funny..."
  But you'll look like an unmitigated cunt. Look. 
http://www.earglasses.com/


  >> B3ta 1900AD <<
  Everybody's got Photoshop these days - and
  is using it to whack their boss's head onto a
  porn star. But people have been making cheap
  jokes with fake photos for a long, long time.
  1909 - a very good year for onions.
http://photographymuseum.com/talltale.html


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Smoking Day Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted promotional material for
  International Smoking Day. It's been a good
  challenge you should check out all the results
  and not just the winners.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/smoking/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'icezebra' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  IceZebra writes -

  #1 "Love to smoke, smoke to love - Made me
     feel all warm inside, like the taste of a
     fresh ciggie. He looks so sweet smoking that
     fag, how could I ever not smoke when cute
     little squirrels do it?
     (AngryDave)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1475031

  #2 "Insect cool - Why can't I be as cool as this
     fly? I want to be cool.  I'll never give up.
     (cheeba)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1482027

  #3 "Hell Beckons - I had to give myself a clip
     round the ear for laughing at the sickness
     of this, but then I laughed again." (Ijon Tichy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1493837


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, practically everyone clamoured for
  the suggestion, "The B3ta Book of Records"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/records/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * SPUNK IN THE SHOWER CULPRIT FOUND - Last week
    we featured a photo of a note on someone's
    fridge, sternly admonishing a person who
    pleasures themselves in a communal bathroom.
    Turns out it was a b3ta boarder. Or someone
    he knows, called Ali.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1481374
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1481698


  * B3TA MARRIAGE - "I got an email yesterday,"
    writes Tedious, "asking me to make a custom
    Humphrey and Duncan animation to propose to
    his girlfriend with. She said yes. Ahhhhhh."
http://b3ta.com/board/1515299


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * Quizzes and games. Get to work kids.

  * More freebies. We hate paying for stuff.

  * DIY Xenotransplantation.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Tedious, Ry & Pete Guest.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Top tippery from Jenny Payne. Wife of all.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Formulated and controlled by Laboratoire b4ta.
  (67975)

-------------------------------------------------

  HANDY TIP: 
  To remove biro ink from furniture, soak a cloth
  in milk, squeeze out the cloth and rub it on
  the biro mark. Weirdo.

next issue »
« previous issue