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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 85: "HOW TO BOIL AN EGG"

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This Week:
* SHORTS - 15 Seconds of Stupid
* GAME - Pigeon Street Massacre
* ANIM - New Weebl

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  mongs ... to-tttogeffer"

B3ta email 85 - 25 Apr 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue85/

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: 15 SECONDS OF STUPID
  Why small is beautiful

  >> Tiramisu Song << 
  "Is b3ta interested in new talent?", writes
  LexWest, "If so, here's my tiramisu song. People
  mainly seem to have had positive responses."
  We think this is ace. Odd. But ace.
http://suz.and-then.org/flash/tiramisu.swf


  >> Levi Ad Parody << 
  "I made a Levi advert", spurts Pete Donaldson,
  "Americans won't understand it. Philistines"
  Made us snort. Like pigs.
http://www.oneeyedwilly.co.uk/levis.htm


  >> Mind Control Experiment << 
  "I've been trying to hypnotise the teenage
  goths who walk past my house", writes
  Rob Manuel, "to do very evil stuff." 
http://www.b3ta.com/mind-control/


  BTW: We're always interested in short silly
  animations of the sort that leave you wanting
  more. Think of something, do it and then tell
  us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Pigeoncide, Scary Weebl, Squirrel Frocks & Fire

  >> Pigeon Street Massacre <<
  Pigeon Street was a series of animated adventures
  first shown on BBC1 / BBC2 in 1981. It made
  our childhood a living hell. So we applaud
  Thomas Scott for giving us the chance to
  even the score by killing the flying rats.
http://www.thomasscott.net/flash/pigeonstreet/


  >> Hats For Clowns - The Album <<
  Weebl has been drinking the Brasso again. The
  new episode makes little sense but does feature
  a very scary clown. The clown rocks and should
  have its own show.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/clowns.htm


  >> Dress Up Your Squirrel <<
  Fast reactions and a sharp sense of style are 
  needed for Breel's latest game - a follow-up 
  to 'Keep Your Kitten Warm'. FYI: Breel has the
  scariest eyes in the web biz.
http://www.breel.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/squirrel/


  >> Blindfold Fire Jump << 
  "My stunt features fire, a blindfold and went
  wrong the first time I tried it", writes 
  Luke Burrages, "I give you the Fire Jump
  of Death." It's very dangerous. If you look
  carefully you'll see he slightly burns his
  finger. Diddums. 
http://makeashorterlink.com/?Q1E023654


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Electric Six Vs. Bush and Blair <<
  This promo video for Electric Six features the
  collision of several recent web fads. Seeing 
  George W mouth "Let's start a nuclear war" gave
  us a few laughs.
http://www.gaybetamax.co.uk


  >> Pool with Pucks <<
  At last. A two player web game that works.
  It's brilliant in fact. Challenge anyone from
  round the world to what is basically a game of
  pool. It's like having Zsa Zsa Gabor sit on
  your face. But good. Sadly it's closing on
  Monday so get in quick.
http://www.couronne.nu/


  >> Kids TV Trip-o-rama <<
  Boohbah is a new TV programme for children made
  by the creators of the Teletubbies. As you might
  expect the aesthetic owes something to the late
  80s rave scene. We spent a happy half hour
  exploring the site making cooing noises. Then
  we got bored and played with our tails.
http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html


  >> Something to Read <<
  At long last, the secrets of seduction revealed.
  According to writer Michael Kelly, that is.
  Funny stuff - we reckon he's a column waiting to
  happen.
http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/seduction.htm


  >> 3D Shooty Game <<
  Remember Tempest in the arcades? Re-live its
  crap wire frame graphics. Fun for 5 minutes. 
http://www.uni-mainz.de/~rathb000/WebWar/Game.html


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Video Game Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted computer and video games
  that had never been made:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/computergame/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Thirdman' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Thirdman writes -

  #1 "Command & Conkers - It's not big but it's
     very clever. (faster)
http://b3ta.com/board/1071709

  #2 "Advanced Monkey Simulator - ah the memories
     of all those Speccy games with cool packaging
     that you couldn't wait to get home. And then
     you loaded them... (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1079657

  #3 "l33t - two pics share third place - they
     smack of the desperation of business men
     trying to be down with the kids" (Nearstars
     and 100% Gibbon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1066489
http://b3ta.com/board/1068640

  "I'd also like to mention Rainbow Kiss by Spawn,
  because it is dirty and made I laugh, and Unreal
  Ornament by munkt0n because I owe him a pint."
http://b3ta.com/board/1065347
http://b3ta.com/board/1071717


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor "Reverend Dan" gave
  us the suggestion, "Nuns!"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/nuns/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * NIK ROOPE, who made a retro-style receiver
    for his mobile phone, has been featured on
    the front cover of an amusingly-titled
    Italian fashion mag. 
http://www.pigmagazine.it/home.html

  * BISCUIT BRIBERY - Nicey writes, "McVities have
    just sent me 396 Penguins (48x8 packs) and 24
    pots each  of white chocolate and milk chocolate
    Penguin singles, little munchy bits of Penguin."
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/

  * OLD GREY SQUIRREL TEST - producers of a DVD
    compilation of the best bits of 70s music
    show Old Grey Whistle Test have got in touch
    to ask to use this squirrel animation for
    the extras section. 
http://djol.8bit.co.uk/b3ta/ogst.html

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * HUMAN CANONBALLS - be creative. Make your
    own cannon from a sewer pipe and some petrol.

  * ANIMAL BODY PIERCING - give your cat a Prince
    Albert. Or maybe an ampallang. That's a nob
    bolt to you and me.

  * DIY PLASTIC SURGERY - maybe you could make
    breasts from an old tennis ball or give your
    self a facelift with bulldog clips.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us. 


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson and cheap jokes from Lucy Reese.
  Links sent in by Simon Oliver & Carrot Rope.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the magic b4ta munchkins. (64315)

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  Cooking tip: To make the perfect boiled egg
  make sure the water is at boiling point before
  putting the egg in the pan. Boil for exactly
  6 minutes. This will give you a firm white and
  a runny yolk. Perfect with marmite on toast.

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