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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 2: KILL YOUR FRIENDS, DOG SHIT AND PARANOIA

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Subscribe: send blank mail to         B3TA issue 2
b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com        27 July 2001


In this issue:
    Kill your friends, dog shit and paranoia.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO THIS WEEK
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

::: KILL YOUR FRIENDS

    We've made a fantastic new game. You upload a
    picture of your friend, and you shoot the shit
    out of him with a big gun:

    You can put in your boss, and look cool by sending
    it to your mates so everyone can compete to see who
    can kill him most. Or you could do it with George W.
    Or you could put in a monkey. Or a stoat.

    Hell, you can put in anything you like! Wa-hey! It
    generates a unique url for every game so they're
    easy to send round.

    Basically, it's the most unpleasant tool for
    spreading hate and anger ever devised.

    Your friends hate you. You hate them too. We know.
    Fuck them over with a big fuck off gun.

    To start to you off, here's one we made earlier:
    (with jeffrey archer)
http://b3ta.com/kill/g.php?k=996242272

    To create your own:
http://www.b3ta/kill


::: CHECK YOUR DOG'S EGGS FOR CASH

    Swedish dogs shit money. It comes out a bit yellow
    and smelly, but usable.

    Take a look at your dog's arse to make it rich.
http://news.excite.com/news/r/010724/08/odd-sweden-dc


::: MAKE MONEY FROM DOG JUICE

    A company has made posters that smell of dog urine.
    dogs are attracted to the posters and their owners
    have to stand there looking at the ad. Why not
    make yourself more attractive to other people by
    urinating on yourself?
http://media.guardian.co.uk/advertising/story/0,7492,499126,00.html


::: SET DOGS ON PEOPLE

    Why not buy an attack dog and train it to kill?
    Think of all the fun you could have setting it
    on strangers.
http://www.dogowar.co.uk/


::: BE PARANOID

    Marketers are paying young beautiful people to lie
    about how nice things are to get you to buy them.
    Never believe anything anyone says. Especially if
    they're being nice. They are being paid to lie and
    deceive.

http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/15/magazine/15PHENOMENON.html
    (requires free registration to read)

    Also satellites can read your mind. Not ours. We
    wear tin foil on our heads.
http://english.pravda.ru/main/2001/07/14/10131.html


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WEB STUFF WE LIKE
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

::: STICKMAN SHOOT 'EM UP

    This is  absolute genius. We are in awe. Visually
    stunning, really playable, this is how web
    games should be (apart from our ones of course).
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/xiaoxiao_4.swf

    This is a progression from the stunning stick man
    death kung fu animations done previously. If you
    missed it before, you can see the kung fu here:
http://games.sohu.com/fightgame/fight3.swf


::: SINGING DICTIONARY

    Music is shit these days. Instead of making crap,
    everybody should be taking old classics and putting
    bored electronic voices over midi versions. Anarchy
    in the UK keeps all of its original aggression, and
    then some:
http://www.dictionaraoke.com/


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
SHYTEGEIST
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

::: YOUR MOBILE EATS MONKEYS

    Great apes could soon become extinct. They are being
    eaten for tea. Apparently it is largely down to
    people mining for mobile phone chips in the jungle
    or something.

    Celebrate with a chimpanzee head christmas bauble:
http://www.europeanchristmas.com/pk4/store.pl?view_product=1155

    Why eat chimps when you can get someone's head for
    tea?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,491028,00.html



::: SEX

    Not getting laid? Why not make origami porn? It's
    better than the real thing.
http://underground.zork.net/

    Or pay for a root, and have top trump fun with the
    trading cards
http://www.jezuk.co.uk/cgi-bin/view/jez/prostituteTradingTrumps/rules

::: ON THE BLOB
    Vanessa Tiegs paints pictures with her menstrual
    blood. We think she should do a sculpture  called
    "Red Mouse" involving a used tampon in a cage. Now
    that would be real art.

    See her gallery here:
http://www.spiralingmoon.com/gallery/dark/darkindex.html

    Prince Phillip declares boy "too fat to be an
    astronaut":
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_361096.html

    This story was from Ananova. She's dead sexy. We
    managed to take this behind-the-scenes
    photo of her with her boobs out.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/anonova.jpg

    If you have any ananova porn, send it to us at
hereissomeananovaporn@b3ta.com

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
FIN
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

B3ta is a collective dedicated to celebrating weird
creative shit on the web.

::: CONTACT US
    Leave a message on our board. we'll reply within 24
    hours.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1/board.html

::: CONTRIBUTORS THIS WEEK
    Joel http://www.rathergood.com/
    Rob http://www.tsluts.com/
    Dave http://lagrange3.blogspot.com/
    Mark McDonald http://www.tokisip.com/
    Alexi http://www.gaywap.com
    Fraser http://www.blogjam.com
    David http://www.fluffgirlwax.com


    Want to contribute? Then post on the message board
    or send an email to stuff@b3ta.com

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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In order to combat global warming New Zealand farmers are
to be subject to a flatulence tax.

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