we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 104: "HITLER OR SHITLER. CAN YOU TELL?"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* QUIZ - Hitler or shitler?
* PHOTOS - Tranny grandad
* ANIM - Lemur simulator

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"


B3ta email 104 - 12 Sept 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue104/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  Chuffing nora. Writing a baby b3ta last week
  means that we have a bloated fat newsletter
  this week for your link hungry gullets. Feast
  your senses. For this is the best the web
  has ever seen.

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1

  >> Hitler or Shitler <<
  Quiz time. Can you tell the real führer from
  the imposters? "Really it's just an excuse to
  see which actors have Hitlered it up for the 
  camera," confesses Dr A.
http://ashen.users.btopenworld.com/fof/fof.htm


  >> Lemur simulator <<
  "The sound of the lemur in the wild is 'blah
  blah blah'" claims a wildeyed oCo. The proof,
  he says, is here: 
http://www.oco-is-here.com/lemurama/flash/lemur_blahblah.html


  >> Shaolin student sandwich <<
  Slagmaster and his friend Liam have made a
  sandwich. This charming video showcases their
  culinary and martial arts prowess. Hooray for
  student kitchens.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?H236121E5


  >> Weebl Monkey song <<
  Jonti has made one of the best Weebl and Bobs
  in a while. It features a posh singing monkey.
  You'll be singing the lovely catchy tune all
  afternoon.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/anywhere.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: THE HUMAN ZOO
  People we'd like you to meet

  >> Tranny Grandad <<
  Trousers are evil. This man knows the score.
  And - like us - he chooses to show his disdain
  in an array of fetching skirts. 
http://albums.imff.net/hamish?&page=2


  >> Singing boxer lady <<
  Yeke Yeke is a woman of many talents. She
  sings. She boxes. She sings while she boxes.
  She's a TV human interest story waiting to
  happen. (We recommend clicking the first video
  link, it gets good about a minute in.)
http://www.hcbx.com/yeke/downloads.asp


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2

  >> New City Creator <<
  Lovely flame-haired Denise Wilton has been busy
  crafting a medieval theme for her and Cal's city
  construction site. Go play - it's pretty.
http://www.citycreator.com/build.city?city=3


  >> Sympathy implants <<
  "Do you have the impression that the disasters
  of the world do not touch you anymore?" asks
  Unbehagen. "WiFi-SM is the solution!"
http://www.unbehagen.com/wifism


  >> Lego cheese <<
  Buxton writes, "Sorry guys, but that Ween
  cheese animation was pretty poor. Here's 
  one I made later." We almost hate to say it,
  but this is very good.
http://www.paprikash.com/chris/cheese.avi


  >> International Pirate Day <<
  It's nearly time for this year's International
  Talk Like a Pirate Day. Come September the 19th
  you should finish all your sentences with "Yarr!"
  The official UK HQ is run by boarders Tedious,
  Mushroom and Mictoboy
http://www.yarr.org.uk/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA HALLOWEEN PARTY
  31st October 2003, London.

  Not only are we great links delivered every
  Friday, we're also your friend, your drinking
  thirsty boozy friend.

  Come to our party and get rat-arsed with us.
http://www2.b3ta.com/party/halloween2003.gif


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Am I hotter than Hitler? <<
  Nazi uniforms are always a hit with the ladies,
  but facial hair perhaps not. A guy stuck his own
  picture and Adolf Hitler's onto Amihotornot and
  compared the results. Very revealing.
http://www.space-ninja.com/hitler/


  >> GW Bush 'made of arse' - official <<
  We all remember Photomosaics, things like Bob Marley
  made of thousands of spliff pics. Well, this one is
  the US president made out of anus. Next week - Bin
  Laden made of cunts.
http://www.artofresistance.org/bush_mosaic/


  >> Gravedar <<
  Imagine a fantastic future where you can read
  gravestones with your Palm Pilot. That future
  is now. Rejoice! Not compatible with PalmPC
  or gravestones '98.
http://www.gowerconsultants.com/preras.htm


  >> So... do those knob-growing pills work? <<
  This man has decided to systematically test 
  the manufacturer's claims. So far the results
  are inconclusive. We can't tell whether this
  is a promotion or not. But hey - we liked
  reading it.
http://thepill.blogs.com/


  >> Stealth Disco <<
  Guns and monkeys are the best things in life.
  But the third best thing is dancing frantically
  behind an unsuspecting colleague or friend.
http://69.49.199.91/best_of.asp


  >> Pole-dancing bloke <<
  We enjoyed reading this story of a chap who
  fitted a pole-dancing pole in his own home.
  It was supposedly a present for his
  girlfriend but he wound up enjoying it more.
http://www.mypole.co.uk/history.htm


  >> Big things. Yay. <<
  Big things are great. So are little things.
  That's what our doctor told us. She's a lady,
  not a homosexual. This is a collection of huge
  Australian things. Strewth.
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~richardb/page4.htm


  >> Mean-spirited cartoon corner <<
  A quick gag. Gave us a laugh. Perhaps you too.
http://www.shitflap.com/img/UVWXYZ/weekend.jpg


  >> R2D2 on the Lambert & Butler <<
  Shocking footage from the 70s shows the
  dimunitive Star Wars droid indulging a habit
  for cancer sticks. Probably what stunted
  his growth.
http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/com4a.html


  >> Lesbo snogs will destroy America <<
  We thought there was nothing left to say
  about the Madonna's publicity-seeking
  lezzer antics at that thing that she was
  at. But we were wrong. So wrong. 
http://www.livejournal.com/users/slithytove/235704.html


  >> At home with Hitler <<
  In 1938, Homes and Gardens magazine published
  a feature called "At home with Hitler," detailing
  his mountain retreat. Our mind boggles at
  the blandness of the copy. (And hey, that's our
  third Hitler link in one newsletter. This
  must be some kind of record.)
http://wow.blogs.com/photos/hitler/h1.html


  >> Trippy tile toy <<
  We've been contemplating suicide, but this
  has helped us prolong the agony of life on
  earth with its beguiling combination of
  art and special maths.
http://www.scienceu.com/geometry/handson/kali/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from Viking Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted pictures of Vikings because
  they are deeply cool:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/vikings/

  We asked b3ta boarder Lora to judge the
  entries - here are her 3 faves.

  Lora writes -

  #1 "Don't be fooled - the look on the cat's
     face was almost enough for me, but the
     attention to detail makes this hard to
     resist." (Dr Phil Womble-Kitten)
http://b3ta.com/board/1919634

  #2 "Untitled - one of several by this contributor
     and I think it's wonderful." (The_Kaiser)
http://b3ta.com/board/1935027

  #3 "Moooo - Just plain lovely. It's simple but
     beautifully executed." (Electech)
http://b3ta.com/board/1929376

    "Can I have the almost obligatory special
    mention too? This musical epic by popt_art
    is fantastic."
http://www.apxe15.dsl.pipex.com/babs.html


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, b3ta contributor Darryn.R gave us
  the suggestion, "'shop the Police"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/police/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

* BADGER WORLD DOMINATION - everywhere we've
  looked this week has been linking to Jonti's
  badger animation: Forums have been filled with
  "badger badger badger badger" threads and fan
  art has been made in abundance. Buy the
  cash-in t-shirts and CDs here: 
http://www.cafeshops.com/weeblbadger,weeblbadger2


* BOOMSELECTION NIGHT - long term newsletter 
  readers will remember The_Dr with his once
  regular MP3 bootleg reviews. He writes, "I'm
  running the first BOOMSELECTION club night
  this Tuesday as part of the music industry
  conference In The City. Please come."
http://boomselection.info/boomselection-flyer-big.jpg


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * SEXIMOS - We've been hearing big things
    about Eskimo porn. (Ladies rubbing noses
    with seals and fucking blubber.) We can't
    find it. Can you?

  * GAMES - you lot have been slack recently.
    We've had lots of animation, but we would
    really like to see your games.

  * CRANK CALLS - are you receiving crank phone
    calls? Are they funny? Please record them,
    put them online and send a link to us.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us. Every last bloody
  link.


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Kathryn Drumm, seekew,
  retard/luffwhores, SirSandGoblin,
  *not logged in*, The Boy T, foetalyouth,
  Burvs, iron5ide, Fergus McVey, acidbathed
  and Jamspoon.
  Top Tippery from Moz.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the S.S. b4ta bitches. (69826)

-------------------------------------------------

  HANDY TIP:

  If you're standing a bit too far away from
  your car and you want to lock/unlock the doors
  with your "fob", simply press the end of the
  fob into your chin and press the button.
  You'll turn your body into a huge antenna and
  increase the range of the fob to hopefully
  unlock your doors.

next issue »
« previous issue